Shadow's Tale
by Negolith
Summary: Shadow recovers from the aftermath of the events of 'WTF', deals with the First Ones, and fully comes into his own as the new Guardian. 3 in the Guardian Series.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: Hey y'all! Shadow's back, in his own little story! Quick refresher course in how to pronounce Nixtahuec: x=sh, hua=wha, emphasis on the first and fourth syllable. So, Nixta = NEESH-dah, Tilahuaxutzli = TEE-lah-wha-ZHUTZ-lee, Nixtahuec = NEESH-dah-whek, Ixlatecutl = EESH-lah-teh-KOOT-ul. Hey, had to put my anthropology/archaeology/linguistics classes to work somehow. =.=_

**Shadow's Tale**

**Chapter 1**

_I wander the empty corridors of the Ancient's city, but I am not alone. There is a presence with me, and I hear her voice whispering in the darkness. I should be feeling her lips on the curve of my ear, her breath and heat on my skin she is so close, but I do not. But the voice is there, tempting me. _Come with me, my child,_ she breathes and I shudder._ I will show you my deepest secrets. _The voice is smooth, seductive, caressing. It pulls the strength from my limbs and I sink to my knees onto the cold, cold floor. _I will give you purpose beyond that which you were simply created for._ I shake my head vehemently as the weight of her words push me down further. There is a sharp stab of pain in my throat and I focus on that. I fight to keep my eyes open, for if I close them I know I am lost. _I can make you whole. _"No," I growl out, and fur ripples along my body as I try to push away from the floor. _I can make you like your Creators._ That gives fuel to my spark of defiance and I feel the Change sweep over me. With it comes white-hot pain that gives me clarity. The voice tries one last time to entice me, and for a moment I want nothing more than to close my eyes and let it carry me away from the pain. I growl, and the explosion of agony draws everything back into focus, back into the reality of my artificial existence. Another voice intrudes, and even though it is raised in anger, it gives me more comfort than the seductive tones of the other. _

"Bloidy, hell, lad! I need ya to change back to human _now_! Damn it, where is that sedative?"

"Here, doctor."

A wave of coolness starts in my left arm and calms the fight in me. I sink back in exhausted relief and will the Change again. More pain blossoms in my throat, but the coolness keeps my reaction down to a moan and a few ripples of fur along my arms and back. I can feel a rippling warmth along my throat and shoulder that isn't fur, however, and a part of me wonders if that is … wrong.

"Prep him for surgery – we need tae close that wound again."

The cadence of that voice is soothing, relaxing, and soon I tumble back into quiet darkness again.

oOo

_I am back in the garden, the harsh artificial light from the Temple turning everything flat and colorless. But the scents are strong despite the rain and I can track my enemies without any problem or hesitation. The little ones die easily – their throats tear like new leaves, their weapons break like children's playthings under the arc of my heavy spear. The larger ones fight viciously, and have weapons that sting like maddened wasps and tear flesh away in chunks. But they fall, too, and their throats offer the same satisfying salty spurt as my fangs bury in them and I shake my head. The last one to fall gazes up at me from the ground, his arm hanging all but useless by his side and the smell of his spilled blood driving me insane. But his eyes are not full of fear of his impending death – they are full of a hot defiance that makes the fur along my neck and spine bristle and my penis stiffen. "Don't do this to yourself, kid," he says through his pitifully flat teeth. His voice is firm, commanding, and far from pleading. Do this? To myself? I roar and lunge forward to take his throat, but his hand comes up, and in a flash of pain my own throat tears open. I blink in amazement at the obsidian blade in his hand, then my fangs find their mark and I shake my head furiously before my own strength fades._

My eyes snap open to unfamiliar lights and scents that burn my nose, and there is something in my throat that makes me gag. I start to panic, and my claws shred the cloth under me before a familiar voice intrudes again. "Ah, Christ, lad." There is the sound of a heavy sigh and I feel pressure against my throat. I tense, ready to strike, but a face I recognize comes into view. "There, son – you're all right. You were havin' a nasty dream." The pressure eases and I see tired blue eyes narrow in concern. "Och, at least yae did it this time in post-op. We'll get yae fixed up right as rain, but I _need_ yae to stay in human form. Can yae do that for me?" I try to nod, and he must feel the faint movement because his eyes soften. I close my own eyes and will the Change, and the pain makes everything go dark again.

oOo

I come out of a dreamless sleep to scents both familiar and foreign and an annoying sound filling the background. It takes me longer than I like to realize it's artificial and not a bird. I part dry lips and take in each breath slowly to give my mind time to wake and identify who is with me. Breathe. Ah, Sheppard is here, and very close. Breathe. The tall warrior, Ronon, is nearby as well. Breathe. Taste. Breathe. Teyla and Tlaxul are in this room, too, so is the one they call Lorne. And the doctor's scent overlays everything with a comfortable presence that makes me relax. I open my eyes slowly, and it takes several blinks before I can focus them. But when I do, I see Tlaxul in a bed across from me, his tiny frame seeming to float amidst the white of the bed clothes. He is watching Teyla with a distracted smile on his face that reminds me of one of his young sons mooning over Kelu and Xelu when they dance in the firelight. Teyla is in an intense, quiet discussion with Ronon as they stand near the foot of Sheppard's bed. I am afraid to move my head because of the pain in my throat, so I carefully roll my eyes to look at my source. I can just barely see his profile so I move my head a fraction and am relieved the pain doesn't grow. I am not relieved at what I see, however – his skin is so pale the hollows around his eyes and mouth have an almost luminescent tint to them. I saw the wound the First One inflicted on him, and I cannot tell from my angle if he still has an arm.

"Tilahuaxutzli, you are awake!" Tlaxul says, his words slurring in a happy, drunken cadence from pain medication. "It is about time." He delivers the last like he is scolding one of his children.

I look his way and offer a faint smile. "I am," I reply, and I want to say more but the pain makes me snarl in silence and squeeze my eyes shut. My entire body convulses with the effort to keep from Changing out of pure reflex, and that only exacerbates the pain. But the struggle is short – I am so weak I am soon just lying there, panting and covered in sweat. I feel warmth on my arm and I open my eyes to see Teyla standing next to me. She gives my arm a gentle squeeze.

"Carson is on his way," she says and gives me a smile as warm as her touch.

I only blink in reply because I am afraid to speak. My breath is still coming in gasps and overloading my sense of smell. I swallow cautiously to try to clear the scents, but it doesn't help and just brings another wave of pain. After a moment I lift a shaky hand and cautiously feel the heavy bandages at my throat. The faintest pressure is agony.

"Here, now, don't be messin' with that," Dr. Beckett says as he comes from somewhere off to my right. Teyla steps out of his way just as I lower my hand to my chest. "I didn't expect you tae be awake," he continues as he checks my throat in concern. I blink slowly and realize I won't be awake for much longer as my adrenalin fades. He sighs faintly and nods to himself. Then he studies the annoying machine and makes an adjustment to another. "There – that should help with the pain." My eyes close for a moment, and when I open them again I see him injecting something into the tubing that runs into my left hand. He sees my concerned glance and pats my arm. "Just something tae help you stay relaxed so your throat can heal."

I nod faintly as my eyes close. "Sorry," I whisper, and even that breath of a word makes my throat feel like it is full of obsidian shards. I feel like I am being forced down into the bed and both the pain and the doctor's voice recede. For just a moment, however, I hear another voice calling to me from the darkness, its longing making me gasp and shudder. Then there is silence.

oOo

It is an odor that awakes me the next time. Somebody's breath, to be exact. It reeks strongly of that bitter drink Sheppard had me try and something sweet. And it is very close. My eyes snap open and I see the loud, annoying one standing over me, his face perhaps three hand-spans from mine as he intently studies my own. His eyes widen and he flinches back with a surprised cry that is almost feminine in its pitch. I can't help the faint smile that comes to my face. Then I hear Tlaxul laugh and that makes my smile widen.

"I'm glad you're amused," Rodney says to Tlaxul, even though my hunter cannot understand a word he says. "I could have had a heart attack."

"Now, now, Rodney – you're blood pressure isn't that bad," Beckett says. "Yet." 

I feel lethargic, heavy, and know I've been asleep for a long time. I turn my head toward Beckett and am grateful the pain is minimal. His smile is reassuring as he disconnects equipment from the various leads running from me. 

"How are yae feeling, lad?"

I swallow cautiously and am relieved the pain is almost tolerable. "Much better," I say. My voice is barely recognizable to my ears. "And hungry."

Beckett chuckles. "I expected as much." He takes a tan box off a stand and sets it between my feet, then he snaps a clear yellow one that is connected to the other to the pole at the foot of the bed. I see tubing running from it to my hand, and a moment later the first machine makes an odd whirring/hiss. "We'll see about getting you some soft food, providing your healing abilities have worked on that damage tae your throat." I grimace in embarrassment and the doctor's expression softens. "Nightmares from anesthesia are common – don't feel bad about something you couldn't control."

But I _can_ control it, the Change, and his words offer little comfort.

At my continued frown the doctor gives my arm a squeeze. "Unlock the wheels on that side, Rodney," he says, his hand still resting on me. Rodney sets the black tablet he's always carrying on the bed by my hip and does as he's told, for once. I glance towards Sheppard as they maneuver me into the isle between beds. His color has improved, but that is all I can register before he is blocked from of my range of vision by Rodney.

As they start to roll the bed away I see Tlaxul partially sit up, his face a mask of worry. "Tilahuaxutzli? Where are you going?"

"I will be back," I say to him in our language and grimace again. Then I look up at Beckett. "I will be back?" I ask barely above a whisper. I put a hand to my throat, and Beckett simply pulls it back and sets it on my chest. "Where am I going?" I catch movement from the corner of my eye and I turn to see the one called Lorne watching me. He raises his right hand to his temple, two fingers extended, then waves them toward me. I'm not sure what that gesture means, but it doesn't _seem_ insulting. I lift my eyebrows briefly, and my chin raises a bit as well. The expression on the man's face becomes equal parts pain and amusement.

"We were discussing how you have a link with the Temple this morning over breakfast," Rodney says and nods towards Beckett. "And I had an idea."

"Actually, I had the idea," Beckett mutters.

"Well, okay – yes. _You_ had the idea," Rodney says and rolls his eyes. "But I found the proof." Rodney pauses at Beckett's weary sigh. "Anyhow, Radek and I went back to the Temple this morning and ran a quick diagnostic on the cloning equipment." I grow very still as my pulse races. The loud one doesn't notice my distress at the mention of my … birth chamber, but Beckett does. His hand briefly settles on my shoulder as Rodney continues. "And Carson's hunch turns out to be correct. Some of the filaments used in the download process were truncated." As we enter into a larger room he finally looks down at me. I must _look_ threatening then, though I certainly don't feel it, because I see his eyes dilate faintly and can smell fresh sweat as he notices my reaction for the first time. "And, um, ah … we, ah, think they may still be in your brain," he finishes quickly and backs a step away from the bed. Then he darts forward again and retrieves his tablet.

"Rodney and Radek have reconfigured the medical scanner to pick up the silica matrix of the filaments," Beckett tells me as he locks the wheels. "That way we can map the little buggers' location and determine if there will be any side effects, if any, in the long run."

My previous irritation is being replaced by anxiousness as the scanner is moved into position over me. I glance around as best I can and see other people in the room. Several I recognize, most I do not, and the warring scents have me overwhelmed at the moment. Beckett motions a woman over. She is as short as the Nixtahuec and shaped like a gourd, and her long dark hair is shot with silver. Her scent temporarily overpowers all the others, and for some reason it reminds me of clean earth and new leaves. "This is Dr. Vandenheiden – she spoke with you earlier when you had the seizure."

"Hello, young man," she says, and her face brightens in a smile that is so open and friendly I relax and find myself smiling back. "This test may help solve the mystery of your earlier seizure." My face must reflect my suddenly panicked thoughts, because her smile softens and she rests her hand on mine. "Oh, no – don't worry. I still believe that earlier incident was a onetime deal; your previous scans showed normal, healthy brain tissue, and so have subsequent ones ever since. You're fine."

I suddenly recall that incident, and for a moment I am back in the control room of the Temple, images from the Ancient database swirling around me and _through_ me. I have accessed information from it before, but not at the speed or quantity of that day. And I do not plan to do that again, either. It was very disconcerting, and I could feel myself getting … lost. Fur rises momentarily along my spine at the memory. "That is good to hear," I say as softly as I can, but it still hurts. I squeeze my eyes shut and try very hard not to swallow, and a moment later I hear Beckett asking someone to fetch some ice chips.

"Ready when you are, Carson," Rodney says from somewhere behind me.

"A moment, Rodney."

A new scent comes over me, and this one stirs up memories that thankfully my body is too weak to respond to at the moment. I take in a deep breath, lips parted, and the _taste_ of Carrie does raise fur briefly along my arms. I hear someone draw in a surprised breath – I suspect it is the neurologist. I open my eyes and see Carrie standing next to Beckett – she is blushing faintly as she hands the doctor a small cup. I don't realize I'm grinning somewhat drunkenly until she darkens and briefly lowers her eyes. Beckett glances back and forth between us and sighs heavily. This causes Carrie to retreat, but not after a slow smile that makes more fur rise, this time along my stomach. 

"Oh, lordy," Beckett says as he shakes his head. "You, young man, are in no condition to let your hormones rage right now. Settle." His words are soft, but the entire room hears them and there is a chorus of quiet chuckling.

"Yup, he's Sheppard's clone, all right," Rodney mutters, and there is more soft laughter.

"You settle, too," Beckett snaps his way, but the dimples he shows with the comment belie his annoyance. Then my own embarrassment is short lived as he spoons some ice into my mouth. I swear my eyes roll back briefly at the cool trickle that makes its way down my abused throat. "Better?" Beckett asks. I sigh and nod, and he gives me some more ice once that first merciful amount is gone. Then he nods to Rodney. "All right, let's begin."

Beckett stays by my side but Dr. Vandenheiden smiles and gives my hand a pat before she goes to study the displays that start to come up. While Beckett is still close I ask very softly, "How is Sheppard?" The doctor hesitates so I add, "Please, be honest – I saw his wound. Did he lose his arm?"

"No, lad, he didn't," Beckett replies just as quietly. "But it was a near thing." He draws his lips in and I can see the turmoil behind his eyes. "Even with extensive physical therapy, I don' think he'll ever regain full use of it."

Even though there is still the hum of equipment, a heavy silence falls over the room. "Does he know?" My voice cracks painfully and Beckett spoons more ice into my mouth.

"I haven't told him, yet," he replies miserably. "But I'm certain he suspects something is wrong."

I lift my chin briefly then settle back into the pillow. I have already made up my mind to try something once my strength is back. My people owe him and _his_ people a debt of gratitude that no amount of fruit or fresh meat can ever equal.

The morose silence is broken by Dr. Vandenheiden's pleasant voice. "You boys did wonderful! These reading are excellent."

"Eh, they could be clearer," Rodney says offhandedly.

"Nonsense," the neurologist replies. "This is exactly what we need."

"I think I can sharpen the imaging," Zelenka says from somewhere behind me. My eyebrows rise briefly – I didn't know the scientist was with us. He is another who I enjoy hearing speak. I sniff the air a few times. Ah – there is his scent. How could I have missed it? It is such a distinctive one, one that brings to mind sharp spice and the air before a thunderstorm. "There," he says. "How is that?"

Beckett grunts softly in surprise, then glances down at me, his eyes bright. "Excuse me a moment, lad." He sets the cup by my hand before he leaves. A moment later I hear him say, "Bloidy hell." But the inflection is more of awe than irritation. "How many …."

"Looks like, oh, twenty," Rodney says after a pause.

"They seem to be clustered around the hippocami," Beckett adds.

"Yes," Vandenheiden replies. "That makes perfect sense." The excitement in her voice makes her sound quite young. "Can you enhance this area?"

While they focus on the scans I wish I could see, I pick up the cup of ice. My hand only has a minor shake as I pluck out the spoon and drink some of the ice melt. The machine between my feet whirs again, and this time I notice the effects of whatever medication it pumps into my system a moment later. I start to feel like I'm floating in my fountain, so I lower the cup, close my eyes, and imagine that I am. I must have dozed off shortly after that, because the next thing I'm aware of is the bed moving. I come awake with a faint jerk that startles both Beckett and Rodney. "Are they finished?" I ask, and wince at the sound of my own voice. It is even worse.

"No, but _you_ were, lad," Beckett replies, his dimples showing.

Rodney snickers briefly. "Radek and I want to see if we can reconfigure a hand-held scanner to test signal sensitivity of your, um, antennae. We should have it ready by morning."

I do not like the sound of that, and I definitely do _not _want the city to be any more aware of me than she already is. That thought actually frightens me. It must show on my face because Beckett says, "I'm sure it will be completely painless." Then I see him flash a warning frown to Rodney, and the scientist nods his head in agreement rather spastically. That doesn't instill much faith in me, but it has nothing to do with the scientist's abilities so I pretend to be comforted.

We are back in the infirmary, and this time I do get a good look at the machines hooked up to Sheppard as they push my bed back into place. His vitals are strong considering the injury, and that gives me hope for what I plan on trying. While Beckett reconnects the various leads I watch Rodney as he stops by Sheppard's bed and just stares at the man. His emotions are quite obvious, and I can smell the stress of them on his sweat. "He will be fine," I say.

Rodney snorts. "Yeah, well, he better," he says quite angrily, as if the man's injuries were a personal affront to his own wellbeing.

"He will be," comes Lorne's voice from the other side Sheppard. "Don't ya know, doc - his middle name is Timex."

The two men with me chuckle, but I don't understand the reference. But Rodney sighs, and I see some, but not all, of the tension ease from him. Then he glances at Beckett, and for a brief second his mask of constant irritation slips and I see the true worry underneath. "You'll keep me posted?" he asks the doctor.

"You know I will, Rodney."

Rodney's hands come up briefly and twitch with nervous energy. He sees me watching him, and the hands suddenly find use in adjusting his jacket. He sets his mouth in a crooked grimace and does an odd little lift to his chin before he turns to stomp purposefully from the infirmary. He is such an odd, intense man.

Beckett retrieves the box from between my feet and reattaches it to its stand. "I'm supposing you'll be wanting some lunch now that we're done messin' around," he says to me as he attaches the other box as well.

I nod as enthusiastically as my throat allows. "Eggs would be good." _Red meat would be better_, I think, and my mouth waters. "And angel food cake?" I add hopefully.

"Hmm."

That sound does not fill me with hope.

"Let's see." Beckett gently takes my chin between his thumb and first finger and turns my head. He watches my face closely as he applies a little more pressure and lifts my chin. I try to keep my face immobile, but my eyes betray me and squint down briefly. Then he runs his fingers along my jaw and asks me to open my mouth as wide as I can. That brings tears to my eyes and a sheen of sweat to my entire body. "Um hmm. Chewing it out of the question. I'm afraid it'll be protein shakes for you for awhile. And thin ones at that."

I try not to look disappointed. At least it will be protein.

"I'll get a couple sent over to yae right away," he says and pats my leg before he leaves.

I settle back into the pillow and gently hold a hand to my throat. The ache is nauseating and temporarily kills my hunger. I glance towards Tlaxul and see the hunter is sound asleep, and part of me is glad he is. Then I hear a low groan to my left and I turn my head to look at Sheppard. He is obviously dreaming – his eyes dart underneath pale lids and his right hand is twitching. His heart monitor speeds up as well and soon his face is covered in a fine sheen of sweat. There is movement beyond him, and Lorne sits up and swivels his legs around to hang off the side of his bed.

"Doc is keeping him pretty doped up," he says. I can't tell if his grimace is from his own pain or for Sheppard's. "Not a good sign," he mutters to himself.

Beckett and a nurse show up a moment later, and I don't know if they were alerted by the sound of the monitor or if they have equipment elsewhere to let them know our condition. The doctor only flashes Lorne a minor frown before he is adjusting the tube on Sheppard's side. There is a small hiss of air while the nurse quickly changes out a small bag from another clear box like mine. I hear a few soft beeps, a whirr, and within a few seconds the heart monitor slows its desperate cadence. And only after Sheppard is sleeping quietly again does Lorne settle back into his bed.

"Bloidy hell," Beckett mutters softly and runs a hand down his face. He sees me watching and offers an apologetic shrug to me, and a raised finger of warning to Lorne, before he leaves. I'm hoping he is going to get some rest – the exhaustion I can see and smell on him concerns me.

A short time later the protein shakes arrive. They are overly sweet and absolutely vile, and I cannot understand how something that is wet can also be so incredibly _dry_. I choke them down, the second one literally, and even though they aren't meat they do fill the void in my belly. I fall asleep again shortly thereafter, and at least in my dreams I get to feast on fresh Ixlatecutl.

_End Note: Poor woobie kitty - no Fancy Feast for him. Carson is a meanie..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note:  These first few chapters were a little more h/c than I'm used to writing, but hey - it's one way to highlight Carson. =.=_

**Chapter 2**

"What is it?" Rodney asks abruptly as he storms up to Zelenka. He gives the scientist a scowl of utter impatience. I have come to realize that that _is_ his normal expression.

"City sensors picked up an energy fluctuation all through the main tower," Zelenka replies, his tone somewhat mystified.

"Did it have a source?" Rodney just forces the other man out of the way.

"This level," Zelenka says, his sudden displacement barely seeming to faze him. I curiously peer over the two men's shoulders as they study a schematic of Atlantis.

"The infirmary?" Rodney says to himself before his hands begin to fly over the controls. "Huh. It seems to have stabilized. Signature is … whoa, that can't be right."

Zelenka squints at the reading and grunts in surprise. It makes no sense to me. "Internal scan?"

"Yes. What the hell?" Rodney makes a few more adjustments. "Source is …." Both men look at each other before they spin around and stare right at me.

My vision swims in a nauseating blur, and when everything comes back into focus I am staring at my legs. I am sitting upright in my bed, in the darkened infirmary, and my breath is coming in quick gasps. It takes me a moment to realize Beckett is next to me, one hand on my shoulder and one on my knee. He is gazing up into my face, his expression both worried and frightened. There is a nurse standing behind him, her face a mirror of his.

"Shadow? Are yae with me, son?" he asks in concern as he searches my face. I have a feeling it isn't the first time he has asked me that question.

I just stare at him. He asks yet again, and I can tell my eyes are wide and surely dilated as I slowly nod, then in the next instant I start to shake violently.

"Here, now, lay back."

It takes very little force to push me back down, and once I am lying again I grab the blanket and pull it up. I am freezing, and Beckett sends the nurse for another blanket. And underneath his words I can still faintly hear Rodney and Zelenka arguing. Their words are indistinct, but I can tell it is them. I close my eyes and concentrate on blocking them out, like I would the white noise I hear from the Temple. It works, and soon all I'm aware of is the noise of the infirmary. A moment later someone spreads another blanket over me, and this one has been warmed.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph – you're in mild shock," Beckett says. "What in the bloidy hell happened?" His fingers gently probe my throat while another set of hands tucks the blanket in around me.

"I …." _I interfaced with Atlantis,_ I want to say, but I do not. For all I know, _she_ may have forced the connection. "Nightmare," I whisper. And that is closer to the truth than the doctor can ever suspect.

Beckett grunts, and when I finally open my eyes I can tell he does not completely believe me. "Well, whatever it was, it must have been a doozy. It took me nearly a minute before I got a response from yae. We thought you were having another seizure." He finishes the examination of my throat and pulls the blankets up to my chin. "You were talking during your … incident, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were speaking Ancient."

My shaking has diminished to bouts of sporadic shivering, and Beckett's words bring fur briefly to my arms. I would love to complete the Change – I would be much warmer – but I do not want to risk it. "I do know the language," I say so softly Beckett actually leans forward to hear me. I can see lines on his cheek, imprints of whatever he had been sleeping on prior to my … nightmare. He could use even more sleep from what I can see in his eyes. "Just a nightmare," I repeat, and I hope the fear I genuinely feel shows in my face. Another wave of intense shivering briefly raises more fur.

"Hmmm," Beckett replies. He scrubs a hand hard across his face.

"You should go back to sleep," I say. I see the nurse with him nod very faintly, but Beckett just raises a finger to me.

"I warned yae about that cheeky stuff once before," he growls. But then he sighs and checks a device on his left wrist. "Aye, I suppose I could grab another hour or two before shift change." He glances around at the full beds and sighs heavily again. "I don' like my ICU this full," he says more to himself than to us. He points at me, his expression suddenly stern again. "Same goes for you, lad. Rest."

I nod and close my eyes, but once I hear them leave I open them again. I have no intention of sleeping after what just happened. I wonder - how long did I sit there, unresponsive, as my mind linked with the city? Did I actually do it, or was the connection forced? And what was I saying? In the dim light I see Tlaxul's eyes are partly open, and he is watching me, but in the next moment they flutter shut and he is gently snoring shortly thereafter. Sheppard is in the utterly still sleep that only comes from medication, and I sit up to see if Lorne is awake. He is not. I am essentially alone. The cool draft of air down my exposed back renews the shivering so I settle and draw the blankets up to my nose. It is a long, quiet vigil until the shift change, my only company the sound relaxed breathing, and twice I close my eyes briefly when the nurse comes through to check on us. But no voices speak to me, and I do not travel the city again without my body.

A few minutes after the lights come up two nurses appear. One of them is Carrie. I stay buried under my blankets – it is the first time I've been warm since I woke up – and watch her while she checks on Sheppard. The number of tubes running into the man is disconcerting, but at least his color is greatly improved. From the other side of him I hear Lorne mumble sleepily, "Mornin', gorgeous." The nurse giggles.

"Well, you look comfy," Carrie says as she pulls on a fresh pair of gloves. I know she can see my eyes narrow from the grin hidden by the blankets because she smiles back. "I hear you had a bad morning," she says quietly as she changes out the bag of fluid that hangs above the two boxes.

I just nod and bury my nose deeper under the blanket, but a moment later I feel her fingers on my cheek. I just lift my eyebrows and look up at her, and her expression just … melts.

"That look should be registered as a lethal weapon," she murmurs and flushes crimson. Then she's moving the blanket away. "I need to check your dressing," she says. I sigh and frown as cool air hits my neck. "Don't do that," she says and blushes even darker.

I have no idea what 'that' is, so I say, "Sorry?" and offer a little smile.

Carrie makes an unintelligible sound in the back of her throat and tries very hard to just focus on the bandages. A moment later I catch a faint hint of musk from her and I feel fur ripple down my stomach. "I'll need to change this," she says, the tone of her voice completely inappropriate for the task at hand. Then she gives the tape a tug, my eyes go wide, and it's her turn to say, "Sorry." The next few tugs wipe away my inappropriate thoughts and I try not to puncture my lips on my canines as I draw them in between my teeth. She finally gets the worse of the bandage peeled away, and judging from her brief grimace it is not a pretty sight.

"Here, now – how's it lookin'?" Beckett asks as he wanders into view. I didn't smell him enter, and as he comes up to the bed I catch a wave of soap. Carrie steps aside, and while she is getting fresh dressings from the stand between my and Sheppard's bed Beckett puts a finger under my chin and turns my head. He makes a pleased sound in the back of his throat. "Och, much better. But your healing seems slow this time 'round."

"Quality of food is a big factor," I say. I grimace at the thought of more of those horrid protein shakes.

Beckett's eyebrows rise. "I'll finish up here," he says to Carrie as she sets supplies on my chest. He grabs some gloves from a dispenser on the stand and pulls them on. We repeat the tests from the night before, and even though there is still pain I can open my mouth wider and swallow with minor difficulty. He seems pleased with the results and proceeds to clean and redress my throat. "Aye, I think we can get you some real food this morning."

"That's a pretty loose term around here, doc," Lorne adds.

Beckett chuckles and glances towards the man. "It is, but yae can't muck up scrambled eggs too badly." He looks back at me. "That is what you wanted last night, wasn't it?" I nod in reply. "We'll get yae some shortly," he says and pulls my blankets back up to my chin.

The nurses are with Tlaxul now, and he asks them a question. Carrie glances my way and I act as interpreter since Teyla is not present. "He wants to know when you will be taking his catheter out." He actually said _when will you take this vine out of my pili_, but I knew what he was asking. I frown faintly because his words make me shift uncomfortably. "That is an excellent question," I say and look up at Beckett. "When _will_ it be removed?"

With a faint frown on his face, Beckett studies us both. "That all depends – think yae can use a bedpan or a urinal without any problems?" I furrow my eyebrows, so he bends down briefly and comes up with a thing in his hand that resembles a gourd with a handle. "Think yae could go in this?" he asks. He actually seems a little embarrassed as well as amused.

"Trust me, kid - say 'yes'," Lorne says. Beckett raises a finger towards him.

I hear Carrie giggle softly at my expression as I belatedly understand. I glance over at Tlaxul and ask, "He wants to know if you can piss into a gourd." I nod towards the item in question.

Tlaxul grunts and frowns somewhat disgustedly. "Yes, I can. I am not an infant – I can control my pili."

I look up at Beckett. "We can. I will teach him the word he will need to request it."

"Perfect," Beckett replies and puts the urinal back. "When you're stronger, we can even see about trips to the loo." He nods to the nurses as he takes his gloves off. They nod back and Carrie pulls a curtain around Tlaxul's bed. "But I'm afraid your wee friend there is stuck for awhile."

I'm not entirely sure what a 'loo' is, but judging from the previous conversation, I suspect I know what function it serves. "I understand." I hear Tlaxul start to make noise, and I assure him they are going to remove the vine. Then my voice falters momentarily and I swallow a few times. "I could use some water."

"We'll get that for yae," Beckett says. "Then after breakfast we'll be running a few more tests." At my sigh his dimples flash. "They won't be that bad. Just follow up from yesterday." He puts on yet another pair of gloves and goes over the various tubes running into Sheppard, even though I know Carrie has already done that. I notice an odd, blue bag for the first time – the tube from it runs into Sheppard's nose. I am about to ask what that is when we are all distracted by a short exclamation from Tlaxul which is immediately followed by a heavy sigh.

"I would like this woman to become my wife. Can you tell her that, Tilahuaxutzli?"

I smile wide enough that it shows my teeth. "You already have a wife," I reply. "And she is not a forgiving person. Neither are her brothers."

He sighs again, and says, "Yes, you are right. She would have them use my pili as a target for their son's blowguns. That would be bad." When the nurses pull back the curtain a moment later he looks very disappointed.

I laugh as softly and carefully as possible, because I know that would happen – Kelul was a _very_ strong woman. I see Beckett looking at me, one eyebrow partially lifted. I translate Tlaxul's words and he and Lorne laugh, but not as hard as the nurses do.

"I'll get breakfast sent up," Beckett says as he leaves us. He is still smiling, and shaking his head.

While the other nurse finishes with Tlaxul, Carrie comes over to me. As she draws my curtain closed, the smile she gives me sends fur rippling again. "I promise to make this quick," she whispers as she untucks the blanket from my side and pushes them away. I flinch slightly as her hands pull up the hem of the thin gown I'm wearing, and she just raises her eyebrows as the cooler air raises fur along my legs. She pulls tape from my thigh, and just as I'm lifting my head to see what she is doing she adjusts something then pulls the catheter out in one quick, smooth movement. My eyes go wide and this time fur ripples from my neck to nearly my toes.

"_X'lchi!_"

My head falls back into the pillow and I immediately hear Tlaxul start laughing. "So, kid - what does _that_ word mean?" Lorne asks a moment later.

I swallow and blink watering eyes before I answer. "It is, ah, our word for … fecal matter."

"Oh," Lorne replies rather thoughtfully. Then I hear him quietly repeating the word a few times. His pronunciation is actually quite good – he captures the guttural tone perfectly.

Carrie has her lips drawn in and is trying very hard not to smile as she quickly checks me and readjusts my gown and blankets. Then she gathers up the remains of the catheter, withdraws the curtain, and leaves while I am still somewhat dazed. I glance over at Tlaxul, and all I see are teeth.

"She would make a good wife for _you,_" he says, and laughs again.

oOo

I am almost finished with my food when I hear Rodney and Zelenka again, only this time their voices are coming from within the same room and not from several levels away. They appear a moment later, and neither one looks like they've slept much. Their conversation halts when they see me. But I heard what they were discussing – it was the incident from early this morning. Rodney is holding one of the life signs detectors, and both men glance down at it the moment they enter the room. Rodney goes _hah_ while Zelenka sighs and pushes his glasses up. "Yes, yes, you are right, Rodney. Again." Zelenka sees me watching and rolls his eyes.

Rodney has an incredibly smug smile on his face as he comes between me and Sheppard. But the smile disappears soon enough as he looks at the colonel. "Has he been awake yet?"

"Not yet," Lorne replies. "But he was the first part of the night. Managed a short conversation before he fell asleep again."

"Damn," Rodney mutters to himself. I can practically smell his disappointment from not being present. "How'd he sound?"

"Grumpy. So I'd say he's feeling pretty good."

Rodney snorts to himself, but doesn't say anything. Then he suddenly turns around and smiles very crookedly at me. At least I hope it is a smile – either that or he's experiencing some left over gastro-intestinal discomfort from all the tinu he ate a few days ago. "So, Shadow, how are, uh, you this morning?"

"Much better, thank you," I reply somewhat cautiously. I see his eyes dart to my tray and the cup of blue gelatin that is still sitting there. I haven't touched it – after all the scrambled eggs and cottage cheese, something sweet did not sound appealing. And my jaw and throat are aching from chewing and swallowing. I pick up the unopened cup and hand it to him. His eyes light up, and for a moment I was certain he was just going to open it and start scooping it into his mouth with his fingers. But instead he shoves it in his pocket. I glance at Zelenka and see the other man stifle a grin.

"Good, good. So, have you had any odd …." His hand comes up and flutters crazily by his head and he grimaces. "Sensations lately? Any unexplained images or dreams pop into your head?"

The annoying heart monitor betrays me, and both men's eyebrows rise. "I had a very strange dream this morning," I answer calmly enough, but fur ripples down my spine.

They exchange a surprised look. "Um, what did you dream?" Rodney asks.

"All right, you two, I told you to wait," Beckett growls as he comes in pushing chair on wheels.

Zelenka has the courtesy to look chastised. Rodney juts his jaw out and says, "We were just stopping by to see how everyone was doing."

"Uh huh," Beckett replies and motions them out of the way. He pushes the chair in between the beds and locks the wheels. When he straightens back up, he brushes his hands together and nods at my tray. "Ah, yae ate everything. Good!" He comes around to move the small table my tray is on out of the way. I grab the bottle of water from it, and he doesn't seem to object. But he does plant his hand on his hips and give Rodney and Zelenka an irritated frown. "Scoot. Yae can continue this later. We'll be with Dr. Vandenheiden in neuro shortly– you can meet us there."

"Yes, Carson," Zelenka replies. When Rodney doesn't move, he grabs the man's jacket sleeve and tugs him out of the room. That gets him a very indignant _hey_.

I'm glad they left – I did not want to share my 'dream' with them with Beckett present – he has enough concerns on his mind right now. "What are we doing with Dr. Vandenheiden this morning?" I ask as he disconnects the tube running from the tan box into my hand, then simply reconnects the tube from the fluid bag into it.

"I want to have her run an EEG after this morning's incident." He closely watches my face as he says that. I calmly take a drink of water, but the damn heart monitor betrays me yet again. "There's nothing to worry about – it's completely painless. Besides, we want to make extra sure those leads truly are harmless."

I'm glad he thinks my anxiety was over the test. He is a good man – part of me does not want to burden him with the knowledge that Atlantis is trying to claim me as her own.

Beckett disconnects the leads to the heart monitor before _that_ thought sends my pulse racing again. Then he grabs the bag of fluid and hangs it from the hook that is on the chair with wheels. As he does this I see Tlaxul watching in concern. "They are taking me for some more tests. I will be back," I say to him.

Tlaxul nods. "Will Teyla be here to speak for me while you are gone?" His expression is hopeful. "I would like that very much."

I fix him with a stern frown. "She cannot be your wife, either."

He suddenly becomes very interested in his empty breakfast tray. "I wasn't going to say that."

I chuff without thinking, and that is a big mistake. I put a hand to my throat as my eyes water.

"Yae best not be doin' that, lad," Beckett says as he gently pulls my hand away.

"I shall try," I say, my voice strained. I drink the last of my water and it helps. "Just remember those words I taught you and you will be fine," I say to Tlaxul. He nods, but he looks very sad.

Carrie arrives with another gown just as Beckett is lowering the side of my bed. "Can yae swivel around for me?" he asks. I get my legs over the side of the bed and find I can sit without any difficulty. I only have to put up with the cool air down my back for a moment before they slide the extra gown on me. "Let's get yae up," Beckett says. They each have a hand on my elbows, and I manage to stand quite easily. I'm glad they are there, however, as I walk the two steps to the chair – I'm shocked at how weak I still am. I fall into the chair, and Carrie grabs one of the blankets from my bed to cover my legs. Then Beckett is pushing me through the infirmary. Lorne and I exchange nods in passing.

I'm taken to a smaller lab that is just down the hall from the infirmary. There is another medical scanner there as well as banks of unfamiliar equipment and a low bed. Dr. Vandenheiden greets me with a big smile. "Hello, Shadow. You're looking like you feel better today," she says as she comes over. I can see Rodney and Zelenka making adjustments to the controls of the scanner.

"I am, thank you," I reply as Beckett stops next to the bed and locks the wheels of the chair. Rodney is immediately by my side with his handheld scanner. Beckett starts to shoo him back but I hold up a hand. "What are you detecting?" I ask, my reluctance not evident in my tone due to my rough voice.

Rodney blinks at me, and I see Dr. Vandenheiden grow very interested as well. "Um, I've been picking up a very low frequency signal all morning from the city's internal sensors. We haven't identified what it is yet, but I can tell that whatever it is, _you_ seem to be picking it up as well."

"Let me see that," Dr. Vandenheiden says and steps up to Rodney. Beckett even goes to look, so they do not see the fear that briefly flits across my face. "That resembles a delta wave," Vandenheiden says. Then she looks at me and frowns. "Have you experienced anything odd recently?"

I don't speak up right away, so Beckett supplies an answer. "So, just what exactly was your 'nightmare' this morning?" His tone is gentle, but the expression on his face is no-nonsense. He crosses his arms and when I still don't say anything he glances briefly at the others in the room. "Whatever yae have to tell us, you can be sure that it does not leave this room." His expression finally softens. "I can promise yae that much, lad."

I look at everyone in turn and read nothing but concern and curiosity in their faces. I drop my gaze to my hands and I can feel my pulse race as I recall the images and sensations of my experience. "I saw McKay and Zelenka in the Gate Room when they picked up the anomalous readings," I finally say. I hear Rodney grunt in surprise. "And I could still hear them in my head after you woke me up."

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I lift my head to look into Dr. Vandenheiden's concerned eyes. "I'm sure it's nothing to be afraid of," she says.

"It is," I say very quietly. I say nothing more, and their expressions clearly show they want me to elaborate. I do not want to, so instead I just lower my gaze again. I hear Beckett grunt.

"Well, that's something to go on, anyway," Rodney says. "You actually saw us? And heard us?" I nod. "Huh. Cool. Well, we're going to do another full scan this morning before they do the EEG. Then we want to try a few tests of, well, signal reception. Don't worry, Carson – we won't be running him all over Atlantis like some radio controlled monster truck. We're just going to broadcast white noise at different frequencies, see if he can sense any of it." I can see his hand move just in my peripheral. "Completely harmless and pain free. I promise."

"All right," Beckett says. "Will that be all right with you, Shadow?"

I just nod again. Dr. Vandenheiden gives my shoulder a squeeze.

"Up on the table with yae, then."

The next hour goes by quickly. Rodney and Zelenka have modified the scanner even further and they are able to map the leads in my brain at a cellular and molecular level that is rather impressive. Dr. Vandenheiden thought it was a bit of an overkill, but the results confirm her belief that they are not interfering with normal brain function and will not cause any problems in the future. The signal tests are more disconcerting. Rodney stands next to me, his hand held scanner monitoring the signals Zelenka is sending from a console in the far end of the room. I am not sure what to expect, and at first nothing happens. Then my head is filled with a buzzing like a nest of angry wasps and I let out a startled yell. I barely keep from Changing from the pain that produces in my throat, and I look guiltily up at Beckett when he shows up by my side.

"Okay, I take it you heard that," Rodney says quite happily.

Beckett flashes him an impressive scowl, but I allay his concerns. "I am fine, just surprised." I remove my hand from my throat before Beckett can. "That was very loud," I say as I settle back, but I remain tense.

"Was that the scanner frequency?" Rodney mutters. I hear Zelenka's grunt of affirmation. "Try the internal communications next." I feel more of a faint pressure in my skull than anything else, and I let them know. "Okay, okay – that was expected. Not very sensitive – if you were, you'd probably be going crazy from voices in your head by now." I feel mildly nauseous at that comment. "Let's try the subspace com next."

I expect another irate buzz, but what I hear in my head is the soft susurrus of rain falling through the jungle canopy. It is a deep, complex sound - a _soothing_ sound - and I feel the tenseness of anxiety leave my limbs. The sound expands and I feel myself surrendering to its peacefulness before it suddenly cuts off and I hear voices raised in alarm.

"Oh no, no no no no no– we blew his brains out." That is Rodney. "Sheppard is going to kill me."

"Shadow? Come on, lad, say something."

My vision returns – I know that my eyes have been open all along, and that realization startles me – and I find I am sitting upright. I blink, and focus on four alarmed faces. Unlike earlier this morning, this incident did not produce any out-of-body excursions or panic induced shock. Quite the contrary – I feel very … serene. But I do notice the center of my forehead is sore. "What happened?" I say as I rub it.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief in unison. It was amusing. Rodney even goes so far as to hold a hand to his chest and mutter, "Oh, thank God."

"You tuned out on us, lad," Beckett says. "Sat straight up, smacked your head on the scanner and didn't even react."

Ah, that explains why my forehead hurts. I lower my hand, and he pulls a penlight from his pocket and proceeds to check my pupil response.

"Can you recall anything?" Dr. Vandenheiden asks. I tell them. The concern does not leave her or Beckett's face, and Rodney and Zelenka only grow more excited. "Would you be willing to repeat that test once we have you wired for the EEG?" she asks. I nod.

Beckett just sighs, and everyone can tell he isn't too pleased with the idea. "All right, then. Are you two about finished?"

"Yes, just a couple more frequencies," Rodney replies. He and Zelenka quickly finish and thankfully there are no more surprises. And I hear nothing else.

Once those tests are done Dr. Vandenheiden wheels a stool over to the bed and with Beckett's help proceeds to _glue_ several dozen electrodes to my head. I grimace with every single placement, and by the time they are finished I can see Rodney standing off to the side, smirking.

"Oh, man – I didn't think his hair could stand up even more that it already did."

"You, shush," Vandenheiden says in a tone I've heard from some of the mothers in my village. Rodney just smirks wider. While she hooks the leads into her equipment Beckett reattaches leads to the pads already on my chest and sides – he wants to monitor my heart as well when they try the subspace frequency again.

The only part of the EEG test I do not like is the flashing light that rests just above my face. Even though my eyes are closed when it is activated, and the orange and green geometric patterns it creates in my vision are fascinating, by the end I have a mild headache. And the glue in my hair is making my scalp itch. I am also getting cold – the thin blanket I have isn't enough – so when they get around to testing the subspace signal again I am getting quite irritable. Then that all disappears in a wave of peacefulness, and when I am aware of things in the lab once again I have completely forgotten my previous discomforts. Again I am sitting upright and surrounded by concerned faces, so I offer a faint and hopefully reassuring smile.

And again there is a chorus of relieved exhales.

"I don't care what the equipment says, that still scares the crap out of me," Beckett says and runs a hand down his face.

"Lights are on, but no one's home," I hear Rodney mutter in a faint sing-song. That is followed by an 'ow' as the neurologist hits him in the arm.

"He isn't in any danger," she says a second later. Her smile reassures me more than any words can, but they don't waive Beckett's concern. "The elevated alpha and delta waves during the signal test were odd but I wouldn't consider them alarming. We'll go over the results in more detail later." She starts to pull the electrodes from my head. Her touch is gentle, and she doesn't pull any hair in the process.

"I will feel better once I read the final report," Beckett replies. "Until then I will forever remain a mother hen."

"We know," Zelenka mutters. It earns him a short snort from Beckett and a spastic nod from Rodney.

"May I see that report when it is finished?" I ask as I sit up. She and Beckett both nod.

Rodney retrieves his tablet and is gone a few moments later, his attention already focused on data. Zelenka sighs and pushes his glasses up. "I will have something for you later as well, if you like," he says.

"I would. Thank you." I move over to the wheeled chair and find I am a little stronger than before. Ah, the breakfast I ate is helping my healing. Instead of taking me back to my bed, however, Beckett takes me to another part of the infirmary and a bathroom so I can clean the glue out of my hair. Before he turns me loose, he takes the i.v. tubing from the port in my arm, and no request on my part will have him remove that as well. And it takes even more work to convince him I am strong enough and don't require assistance in the shower. The door finally closes, and when I turn I start at my reflection in the large mirror. It isn't the sight of the white bandages on the left side of my throat, or the dark bruises that run from my cheekbone to my collarbone on that side that cause the surprise.

It's my eyes, or more precisely the haunted shadow that now seems to reside there. I resemble my source more now than I ever did before.

_End Note:  But Shadow - that's no necessarily a _bad_ thing...  :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Ummm, wow. Nothing smart-aleck to say. Boy, I must really be tired..._

**Chapter 3**

I find a set of the garments the medical staff calls 'scrubs' waiting for me when I exit the shower. That makes me happy – they will definitely be warmer than that floppy gown they've had me in up to this point. I would prefer to be in my intermediate form, but that will have to wait until I've healed more and have no more risk of damaging my throat even further. And thinking about that ….

I am sitting cross-legged on the counter in front of the mirror, the damp bandage barely peeled from my throat when Beckett stops by to check on me. "Bloidy hell!" he says and his tone makes me flinch. "What in God's name do yae think you're doing?"

I cringe guiltily. "I am checking the extent of my healing?" I say, my eyes on his reflected ones. I lift my eyebrows and offer a weak smile, but I don't have the same affect on him as I do Carrie. He frowns, and I let go of the bandage. It partially flops down and my attention is immediately diverted to that. Once I see the damage there, however, I feel my stomach roil and have to turn away.

"If you're going to puke, do it in the sink," Beckett says, his tone completely different from a moment before as he comes completely into the bathroom.

I don't realize I am nearly swooning until he gets an arm around my shoulders and steadies me. I swivel my legs around and hang them off the counter, then lower my head as far as I can without sliding off. "I am all right," I say and wave him away as the buzzing in my ears subsides.

"Hmm," is all he says, and he stays right there until I finally lift my head again. He puts a hand to my chin, gently tilts my head, and suddenly his frown disappears. "You have healed some more since this morning." _If that is healed…._ I close my eyes and almost feel like I'm going to vomit again, but I hold it back. "But that still doesn't excuse you from this. Stay here – I'll fetch another dressing. And don't touch." His scowl returns as he points at me.

I lower my head and just nod back weakly. I knew the original wound was bad, but I had no idea my Changing caused _that_ much damage. I truly feel horrible for trying his patience and his skills so, and I stay that way until he comes back with the supplies in a small blue pan that he sets next to me. I hear him sigh heavily.

"There'll be none of that, now," he says gruffly.

I lift my head just enough so I can see him. "I am sorry."

Beckett snorts and shakes his head. "I keep forgettin' you're still a youngster – I shouldn't have been so short with yae," he says, his tone much softer than before. He starts to carefully remove the wet dressing. "And that eyebrow thing – good try, son, but I've been getting the same thing from the colonel for years now. Doesn't work for him, either. He has entirely too much hair and testosterone for my liking." That makes me smile a little. "Ah, good. Much better than that maudlin crap." He gives me a tight, quick grin and picks up a pair of scissors and a small set of forceps. "Now, you're going to feel some tugging while I get rid of a few of these loose stitches. I'll try to be gentle."

I nod once. The tugging hurts, but not too badly, and by the time he's finished his 'few stitches' form a small dark mound in the pan. As he's re-bandaging my throat I ask, "When can Tlaxul and I go home?" The roughness of my voice disguises my eagerness quite well.

"Your wee friend may be a few weeks yet," Beckett replies as he pulls his gloves off and drops them into the pan. "As for you, lad – at the rate you're healing, a few days, maybe less."

I feel cold deep inside at the thought of a few more days on Atlantis and fur ripples down my arms. If I was uninjured and in full health right now, I know I could resist her call for those days. Nothing like this happened when I stayed here a few days ago, but now it's as if she can sense I'm weaker. I do not know why she is calling to me so, and the longing, the desperation – the _possessiveness_ – I have heard frightens me worse than facing a territorial urtal in the dead of night. I start to pant, and a moment later I notice Beckett is watching me. Intently.

"What are you so bloidy afraid of, son?" he asks quietly. I start to open my mouth to deny the fear, but he holds up a hand. "Don't. I have eyes, Shadow - you're pale, sweating, your eyes are dilated, and I can probably wager a month's wages your pulse isn't anywhere near your restin' rate." When I remain silent he drops his chin down and grimaces. "If you're worried about the safety of your people, I know the colonel's men have that more than covered."

"I know," I whisper. "And for that, I am truly grateful."

"Is it because of these?" he asks and taps his temple.

"Not … entirely," I say and lower my head before the concern I see in his eyes makes me feel even guiltier for not telling him the truth about my nightmare.

"Then talk to me, Shadow. I cannae help you if you don't tell me what's wrong, son."

I am quiet for so long I hope he gives up, but when I finally look up and see the patience in his face I know he will not let me go so easily. He is like our best hunters – still, quiet, and as tenacious as a zaxutl vine crawling its way _through_ ancient masonry and breaking apart seams that have withstood centuries of weather. I swallow, and my hand instantly goes to my aching throat. Beckett intercepts it before it gets there, however, and settles my hand back on my leg. "The city is speaking to me," I quietly say. His eyebrows raise but he remains silent. "And she is trying to seduce me."

Beckett finally reacts, and he starts as if he's been poked in a tender place by a thorn. "Seduced?" He opens his mouth but it takes a moment for him to form words. "And what, precisely, do yae mean by that?"

For some reason I expected his reply to be mocking, but the genuine curiosity and concern I hear in his tone throws me off guard. My mouth hangs open for just a moment, then everything comes pouring out – my first dream, hearing her calling to me again as I fell asleep later on, my bodiless visit to the control room. By the time I finish I can see some of my fear reflected in his eyes. I have to look away. "That is why I need to leave as soon as I am able." I watch the shadow of fur run along my arms, and my next words are barely above a whisper. "If I delay, I fear I may not leave at all."

"Och, that would be bad," he mutters. He rubs at his mouth, then crosses his arms. "Do yae have any idea _why_ she's doing this?" I shake my head. "Could be because you can actually _hear_ her," he says more to himself than to me. "But that still doesn't explain it. There are plenty of folks here who have the ATA gene, and she can hear them just fine. Granted, some easier than others …." He shrugs. "It doesn't make sense."

"Perhaps she recognizes me for what I truly am – an Ancient construct – and needs to have control…." I am about to say more, but the frown of utter disgust he gives me silences me.

"All right, there'll be no more of that crap, hear me? _You_ are a living, breathing, _thinking_ human being. Granted, you weren't born by conventional means, and you've had your DNA spliced more than a cable box in a low rent flat, but there are people out there who would argue that you aren't just a, a mere construct. I personally know of a little fellow who tried to crawl out of his bed to help when you were trying your best to bleed out after a nasty nightmare, and of a particularly thick-skulled major who refused to sleep until you were out of surgery and back in your bed." He forced himself to take a deep breath. "And if the colonel was awake right now, I know for a fact he'd do this if heard you a moment ago." And he smacked me, albeit lightly, on the back of the head. I suspect Sheppard would be less forgiving if he were to actually do that, but the doctor makes his point. "Now, no more nonsense, all right? So, first course of action - we need to get you well."

I am properly chagrined by his words as I nod. "Food," I say softly. "Protein helps with the healing."

"Aye. And rest." Beckett scratches his chin. "I know we have devices here that can scramble signals. Let me talk to Radek – he may be able to set something up in the infirmary, something with a small field, so you can at least have some peace of mind."

"Thank you," I whisper, and the surge of hope I feel makes me lightheaded for a moment. I slide off of the counter and sway slightly.

The doctor catches my arm, steadies me, and looks me straight in the eye. "Here's the deal – as soon as I can take the rest of the stitches from your neck _and_ you can walk to one end of the infirmary and back without swaying like a drunken sailor, you can go home and finish your recovery there. Sound fair?"

I nod and fight the urge to grin. "Very."

"Good." He leads me out of the bathroom where we promptly receive concerned glances from some of the staff that are present. The wheeled chair is waiting for me and I gratefully sink into it. I am still amazed at how weak and tired I am and I am actually looking forward to lying down again.

The short trip back to my bed is done is silence, and before we even enter the area I can hear Rodney talking. As we round the corner I see he is with Sheppard and clearly agitated, but it seems more from excitement than from anxiety. He quiets and steps out of the way when Beckett maneuvers the chair between the beds. I can see Sheppard watching me as I climb back into bed so I give him a quick little nod in acknowledgement as I get comfortable. He returns the gesture casually, as if we were just two men passing on a village path and not two grievously injured invalids in an infirmary.

It grows deathly quiet for a moment before Rodney says, "Okay, that is just – disturbing." He is looking back and forth between us, his mouth in that ever present crooked grimace.

"I hear yae," Beckett says after he reconnects my i.v. and the pain medication. He pats me on the leg. "Let's see about getting you some dinner, lad."

Sheppard makes a small, somewhat strangled sound. "What about me?" he asks a moment later in a pleading tone that makes all eyes turn towards him. He has his eyebrows crooked and I feel like saying _it's not going to work_.

But apparently it does work on occasion because Beckett nods after a short sigh. It must depend on the circumstance. "Aye, we could start you on some broth." Sheppard grimaces at those words and Beckett frowns right back. "Don't sneer at me – anything is better than that blue crap." He gestures toward the bag hanging above and behind Sheppard's head. I am never going to understand these people's fascination with unnaturally blue food. My source glances up as well and seems surprised.

"I'll need protein," I remind him, and my throat is so dry my voice barely comes out. I start to put a hand to my throat but Beckett catches it and sets it back by my leg.

"Don't pick," he tells me with a stern glare. He pats my hand and raises one eyebrow at me before he leaves us.

Rodney clutches his computer to his chest and looks at his wrist. "I, uh, need to run." He offers a spastic shrug to us and taps the back of his tablet. "I need to go over the newest scans with Dr. Vandenheiden. I'll swing by later." He backs up until he almost runs into Tlaxul's bed, offers a wave that is nothing more than a few fingers waggling at us, and leaves the same way the doctor did.

I hear Sheppard laugh softly, then groan. I glance at him and see his face pinched in pain. He notices and offers a very weak smile. "I'm fine." His voice is very rough.

I chuff and bare my teeth as the dull fire in my throat becomes a brief inferno. I swallow carefully before I ask, "How is your arm?" My voice sounds almost as rough as his. I really need some water.

Sheppard doesn't answer right away, but I can see several emotions flit across his face in the next few seconds, and the one that settles the longest is fear. Then he sets his face in what he must feel is a neutral mask and says, "It hurts." I want to chuff again, but instead I just raise my eyebrows – I know he is lying simply because I _know_ that face. I am about to tell him he doesn't have to lie to me when I catch Carrie's scent on a waft of air. She arrives a moment later with water for us. I know what my expression is right then, and I assume Sheppard's is similar because she glances between us and flushes deep red.

"That is so not fair," she says as the flush spreads to her neck.

oOo

They bring us what turns out to be the mid-day meal a short time later. I don't watch them remove the feeding tube from Sheppard, and judging from the few gags I hear from him it is as uncomfortable as I imagined it would be. His groan from the pitiful broth and blue Jello they bring him a moment later doesn't bring much sympathy from the nurses. After they leave he glances over at me and my laden tray. "Say, kid, mind sharing some of that?"

I recognize some of the food, but there is one questionable dish. "What is this?" I ask hesitantly, then lean forward to sniff it.

"Spam stew," he replies. "Looks nasty, actually tastes pretty good."

I decide nasty is too kind a word. It makes me think of something an Ixlatecutl would vomit up to a hatchling. I take a cautious taste. "Oh. It is good." I glance at Sheppard. "I am sorry, Dr. Beckett doesn't want you on solid food yet."

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" he says. Then he turns his head and looks at Lorne, who very deliberately does not meet his gaze.

"Sorry, sir - I'm still at the doc's mercy. _And_ I want to remain catheter free."

"Crap," Sheppard mutters and stares despondently at his food. He even glances Tlaxul's way, but my hunter is happily eating his meal and is ignoring us. He sighs and moves his Jello closer. "At least I can be thankful it's not going through my nose," he says and takes a bite.

"That is always a good thing," Lorne replies.

I can hear a level of relief in his voice that was not present earlier. I don't think Sheppard catches it because he just grunts and continues to slowly spoon the odd blue food into his mouth. He barely finishes his broth as the rest of us finish our meal, and I can tell just the small effort of eating has tired him considerably. He seems about ready to doze off a moment later until we receive a visitor.

She enters, hesitantly, but when she sees us all looking at her she smiles and comes into the room with more confidence. "Ah, Carson said you were awake," Dr. Weir says and stops between our beds. "How are you both feeling?" she asks as she tucks a strand of hair behind one ear.

"Been better," Sheppard slurs out and offers a tired smile.

"Much better, thank you," I say and smile as well.

Elizabeth blinks and I see her ears color faintly. She glances briefly at the floor before she speaks again. "I've stopped by before, but you've both been asleep each time." She is deliberately not letting her gaze rest on Sheppard too long, and she is hiding her concern quite well with her body language. But I can smell the sharp tang of worry on her scent – I have absolutely no doubt she is fully aware of the seriousness of his injury. "It's good to see you both awake and _semi_-coherent." The last she does direct at him and for a brief moment her smile does falter.

Sheppard's smile is very lopsided. "Hey, not my fault. It's the good sh … stuff Carson has me on. Can't help it." He shrugs apologetically and winces slightly.

Elizabeth diplomatically ignores the wince and turns her head towards me. "I've spoken with the Marines stationed at the Temple and am happy to report that there has been absolutely no sign of the First Ones while you've been here. Or of any urtal. Teyla is back serving as their interpreter, and she wanted me to pass word on to you that Kintu and Poc are doing fine, too."

"That is very good to hear," I say, quite relieved. "I cannot thank you and your people enough for all you've done."

Sheppard makes a little snort followed by a quiet 'ow'. "Glad to help," he says, his words getting even more slurred – I suspect his pain meds are kicking in. "All part of the job." He settles his head back into his pillow, a faint smile on his face. "Isn't that right, major?"

"That would be an affirmative, sir," he replies and nods my way.

Sheppard just makes a quiet 'hmm' and a moment later his breathing deepens and we can tell he is asleep. Elizabeth sighs softly and steps closer to my bed. "Carson tells me you'll be well enough to leave us in a day or so," she says quietly so as to not disturb Sheppard. "He also tells me we do have a few medical scanners that he can spare – he knows of some in another part of the city that are just sitting there, gathering dust. Are you still interested in trading?"

"Very much so," I reply. "But it will have to wait. My garden has a … pest infestation that needs to be eradicated first."

Elizabeth just studies me in silence for a moment. "I understand," she says, and I can see in her eyes that she shares the same opinion of my solution that Teyla does. "Your health and your people first, then come talk to me."

"I will." I am already looking forward to that – she is a good, strong woman, and she reminds me a lot of Teyla. Leaders, both, and I find that … very appealing. I don't realize I'm staring a little too intently until she clears her throat. I feel my ears grow warm and I duck my head in apology. She gives me an amused smile and that makes fur ripple along my spine.

"Get some rest," she says and excuses herself. But not before I can see color rise along her throat. As she passes Lorne I see her rub her nose and grin to herself. Lorne notices, to, and flashes a smirk my way.

Tlaxul is watching me and fighting a grin as well. "She likes you. Maybe she …."

"Don't say it," I growl at him, and when he laughs I pick up my unopened pudding and throw it at him. He deflects it, but it doesn't stop his laughter. Lorne joins in a moment later and I cross my arms and settle back against my pillows and frown at them both.

oOo

I sleep for most of the afternoon, and when I wake I am allowed my first trip to the 'loo'. While there I notice the bruising around my wound has faded some. I gently prod my throat and am pleased the pressure is not as excruciating at it has been. My voice still sounds horrid, however, but I can accept that. Beckett is very pleased with my healing as well and takes me off all i.v. fluids and pain medication. I spend some time sitting with Tlaxul – I can see his is missing his family and assure him that he will get to go home and see them again. Soon. I plan on setting him up in the Temple until he is completely healed and can get around without too much difficulty. Personally, I would like to have all of the Nixtahuec live in the Temple, but I know they won't. My predecessor had tried several times, and they will stay for short periods in the living quarters during times of emergency, but the building beyond the atrium frightens them. Kintu is probably the most at ease inside its walls, but even then he grows very uncomfortable after awhile. _It is a place of ghosts,_ he told me once. _They open the doors, move the tiny room from floor to floor. It is not right, not natural, and ghosts can grow angry if not respected. Only the Guardian can control them and keep them at peace._

His comment has grown exceptional weight for me these past few days.

Zelenka stops by with a small device that will block any signals from Atlantis. He doesn't ask any questions while he attaches it to the head of my bed – I have a feeling Beckett has explained the situation to him. He does a quick test to make sure it doesn't interfere with any of the equipment in the infirmary, and when he leaves he offers me an understanding smile and a squeeze on my shoulder. I am glad he set this up and not Rodney, and I am also relieved that Sheppard is asleep for the whole affair. He does not need the added worry.

He does wake up again shortly before the evening meal. Ronon is in the infirmary visiting at the time and he and Lorne manage to get him in pretty good spirits before our food arrives. But I can still smell the fear on my source despite everything, and by the time we start eating I know Lorne and Ronon have picked up on it. But they say nothing, however, and just concentrate on getting Sheppard to forget his injury for a moment. I wind up watching them in silence and it makes me realize I do not have any friends like that at home. Kintu is the only villager with whom I have spent any amount of time, and even then there is still a _respectful_ distance present between us. When he isn't treating me like one of his sons, that is, and I believe that comes out of habit more than anything else. Then there are the twins …. That came about due to too much tical and mutual curiosity one night, but I am still the Tilahuaxutzli, the Guardian of the Temple, the Protector of the Nixtahuec. I am quite certain as soon as they each find a man that can keep them interested and provide them with children, I will be just a distracting memory.

"Hey, kid, why the long face?"

I glance at Sheppard and see he is watching me. "I was thinking about home," I say.

"Ah," he says with a chin lift. He does not look like he fully believes me, like he knows there is more than what I am saying. "Well, from what I hear, you'll be home soon enough."

I nod and try to ignore the brief disappointed frown that flits across his face.

"Personally, I think he's eager to get back to the twins," Ronon says, then crosses his arms. When I feel my ears warm he smirks and rocks back on his heels. "Yup, thought so."

Sheppard sighs. "I thought I told you to pace yourself."

"Huh, that explains why he was flirting with Dr. Weir earlier," Lorne adds. "And the nurses."

Now I can feel heat in my neck. "I wasn't … didn't … she …."

Sheppard points a finger at me. "_And_ I thought I told you to behave around Elizabeth," he adds with a frown.

"I …." When they all start laughing good-naturedly at my discomfort I lower my head. "X'lchi," I mutter.

"Huh?" Sheppard says.

"Means 'shit', sir," Lorne supplies.

"Oh." Sheppard draws the word out. Then I can hear him muttering the word underneath his breath. His pronunciation isn't nearly as good as Lorne's, but the word is still understandable.

oOo

I wake when the nurse checks on us in the middle of the night. She offers me a friendly smile as she finishes checking on Sheppard, and I reply in turn and pretend to fall asleep as she finishes her rounds. I wait a few minutes after she leaves before I open my eyes again. I sit up and spend a few minutes just listening to the quiet breathing of the other sleepers around me before I push my covers back and swivel my legs around. The floor is very cold under my feet as I pad silently to the other side of Sheppard's bed. His left arm is covered by his blanket, and I carefully pull it back so as not to wake him. The bandages wrap his upper arm and shoulder, and his arm is exposed from the elbow down. His skin color is very good, and that gives me confidence for what I am about to try.

I wrap my left hand around his wrist, and his skin is cooler to the touch than I expected. I would like to remove the bandages, but I need to finish this before the nurse's next round so I just wrap my other hand around the area where I know the wound is. Sheppard makes a noise in the back of his throat, but thanks to the pain meds he does not wake. I still wait a moment to be sure he stays asleep before I close my eyes and still myself for what is to come.

I can feel his pulse under my left hand and I concentrate on that. As my breathing slows, so does my own pulse, and I am mildly frightened because my own heart has never beaten that slowly in my short life. But I swallow my fear and concentrate on that connection until that is the only thing I am aware of. The pulse sings to me, and soon I can feel a faint pull and ache in my side with every breath, and heavy fatigue throughout my entire body. I would like nothing more than to sink to the floor and sleep, but I force enough sense of myself into the connection to keep his from overpowering me. With that his pulse speeds up and I relax. This is going to work.

Right at that moment, the only difference between us is our levels of consciousness.

I can sense the damage in his arm as if it were my own, and I concentrate on healing the blood vessels first. Once blood flow has increased, I focus on repairing the muscle and connective tissue. The long cells knit smoothly, and between my ability and the skills of the surgeons who worked on the damage I am certain the scarring will be minimal.

I don't know how long I've taken, but I am beginning to tire. The most difficult part of the healing is next, and I'm already aware of sweat rolling down my body and tremors in my arms and legs. My pulse now rules Sheppard's as I find severed nerves and begin the delicate process of reconnecting them. Their signal is like a song in my senses, with harmonies both high and intense and low and soothing, and it is my task to send that melody back to his fingers. At first nothing happens, then my left arm suddenly burns and tingles with sensation just as Sheppard's does. He snaps awake a moment later with a short cry of surprise, and for a second I actually see myself through his eyes before I let go and open my own. He immediately lifts his hand and I see him staring at his twitching fingers in awe as I wipe the sweat from my face with the hem of my borrowed scrub top. That makes me smile in relief.

I hear fast approaching footsteps and a moment later I catch Beckett's scent. Ah, Sheppard's increased heart rate must have triggered a monitor somewhere. He looks tired, but I don't think he was asleep, and he is frowning at me as he rushes up to us. "Hey, now – what are yae doing out of bed?" he says just barely above a whisper. Then he comes to an abrupt halt as he sees Sheppard, his expression a mask of amazement, still holding up his left hand and waggling his fingers. Beckett's attention slowly focuses on me, and even though he opens his mouth it takes a moment for the words to come. "I thought you couldn't heal others yet."

"I can't," I reply and feel my ears grow warm. I lower my head briefly. "But I can heal myself." I look at my source, my progenitor, and shrug. I think of the Ancients and their tampering, but at a base level …. "And we aren't all _that_ different …."

Beckett just stares at me for a moment. "Bloidy hell," he mutters and runs a hand across his mouth. "Go over there, lad," he says and points to the other side of the bed. I do, then just watch quietly as Beckett cuts away the bandages.

Sheppard still has not said a word and is still somewhat dazed as he watches the doctor. Then the dressings are gone. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Beckett says and Sheppard looks. I see the color drain from his face and sweat break out as he registers the true nature of his injury. He swallows convulsively a few times, and Beckett sees it. He grabs a canister from the floor, but Sheppard doesn't vomit.

While Beckett tests Sheppard's newly restored arm, I watch quietly. Contentedly. Sheppard keeps glancing at me, and the relief I see in his face makes me feel pleased beyond words. Then Beckett finishes, his own awe and relief bringing a light to his eyes that has been absent the past few days. I tackle the wound in his side next, and after the drain tube is removed it is appallingly easy after the arm.

I crawl into my bed with Beckett's help shortly thereafter because I am so drained, and fall asleep to blessed silence almost instantly.

_End Note: Poor Carrie, getting both barrels unloaded on her. I think I hate her..._


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Yeah, a lot more h/c than I usually do. But it's almost over. Shadow gets to go home soon. :)_

**Chapter 4**

It is nearly time for the mid-day meal when I finally wake up. I am very groggy and positively ravenous, and it takes me a moment to focus my thoughts. I am buried under the blankets again, and when I poke my head out I am greeted by half a dozen anxious expressions. I blink slowly and nod at them, and their faces crack into huge smiles. Well, all except one – it still looks like Rodney is experiencing gastro-intestinal problems.

"Hey, kid – 'bout time ya joined us," Sheppard says. Even though he still looks and sounds incredibly tired, he is grinning the broadest of them all. "How are _you_ feeling this morning?"

"I'm starving," I reply as I push blankets away and yawn.

"Huh, now why am I having a sudden sense of déjà vu?" Rodney mutters.

"Well, you missed breakfast – Carrie couldn't even wake you up for it." Sheppard just shakes his head and gives me a knowing little smirk. "But, hey, it's almost lunchtime, and I'm sure Rodney has a spare Powerbar he could give you to tide you over."

Rodney makes an exasperated half sigh and glares at Sheppard. "What makes you think I …." He's interrupted by Ronon reaching over, grabbing his jacket, and fishing a foil wrapped bar out of his pocket. He just holds it up, one eyebrow raised. Rodney snatches it out of his hand. "Oh, all right – I did have one. For hypoglycemic emergencies." He looks at the bar, then makes another exaggerated sigh. Then he tosses it to me. "If it was chocolate instead of cookies and cream, this would not be happening."

"See, he can be nice," Sheppard says. Rodney glowers at him, but there is no real anger in his eyes.

I don't care what flavor it is – I am actually growling softly as I tear the foil open. I shove half of the bar in my mouth, and fur ripples down my arms as I mumble, "Thank you."

Even though he is on the other side of Sheppard, Rodney grimaces and takes a step back. "Uh, I think I'll go see if Carson can put a rush on lunch."

"That might be a good idea," Sheppard drawls out.

I have the rest of the bar in my mouth before Rodney even leaves the room.

oOo

After I eat I spend some time with Beckett going over Tlaxul's medical scans. I agree with his estimation of ten days before I can bring my hunter home. I could let him stay here for the entire six weeks, but I can already tell that the strangeness of this place bothers him when he isn't under the full influence of the pain medication. He will have to stay in the Temple for awhile until the rains end; he isn't going to like that, but perhaps I can set up an area in the atrium for him and his family. That may work for a long period and allow family to come and go in comfort. Once he can walk on his own, and has no risk of infection, then I will let him return to the village.

There is another way I could speed his healing process since my own abilities are limited, but I wouldn't subject my worst enemy to _that_ …. I chuff softly and shake my head as fur races down my back. Beckett notices and arches an eyebrow at me, but I ignore it. "Do the pins need to be removed once the bone is healed?" I ask instead.

He studies me for a moment before he just sighs. "No – they can stay in place without any future complications." He is too perceptive, and it does bother me when I hide things from him.

"That is good to know," I reply.

"Now, speakin' of complications, let's take a look at your throat." I try the eyebrows on him and he lets out a short bark of laughter. "Nice try. Up on the table with yae." He pulls the dressing off and his eyebrows shoot up. "Well, now – let's get this cleaned up and we'll see about getting you ready to go home." I can barely sit still while he is pulling out the last of the loose stitches, and a couple times he frowns at me and says, "Settle." But he finally finishes and the first thing I do is go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. The left side of my throat is now the brown, green, and yellow of old bruises, and running from above my larynx to nearly my ear is a dark red puckered scar as thick as my forefinger. I swallow and meet Beckett's reflected eyes as he leans against the doorway. "Aye, it's a nasty bugger, all right."

I gently prod the area and there is just a slight ache, and that gives me the confidence to Change. The ache doesn't get any worse but I can feel the scar tissue pull, and it looks truly horrible against my fur. I hear Beckett draw in a sharp breath behind me. He looks ready to yell at me and I lay my ears back and bare my teeth without thinking. That makes him back up a step and I feel guilty and let my ears relax. "Sorry."

He rubs his mouth. "Yae about gave me a heart attack," he says, and it's hard to tell if his tone is angry or not. I turn around and he is instantly checking my throat. "Aye, you've healed nicely, but I would have preferred you waited a few more days before doing that."

I just nod guiltily and change back – the scrub pants are very uncomfortable around my thighs while in my intermediate form and are cutting off circulation. We slowly head back to the infirmary. "I can't thank you enough for all you've done."

Beckett puts a hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "You're welcome, lad, but it's all a part of my job." He gives my shoulder a shake before he lets go, and it's amazing the amount of strength he has in his hands. "Did the signal jammer work for yae last night?"

"It did – my dreams were just normal ones."

"Good. Good. Can yae hear anything now?"

I stop for a moment and cock my head to listen. "It's like before – I can feel a presence, but nothing else. For the moment."

"Hmm."

My attention drifts to the floor and I frown. "I would prefer Sheppard does not know about … Atlantis speaking to me while I was weak," I say very quietly. "I do not want to burden him with anymore than he already carries."

"I understand," Beckett replies. "That will remain under doctor/patient confidentiality. _And_ I will make the point to Rodney and Radek to keep it mum, too."

I meet his concerned eyes and the corner of my mouth lifts. "Thank you." We are back in the infirmary again and he excuses himself. I see Rodney and Ronon have left, but Dr. Weir is now sitting in the chair that has taken up permanent residence next to Sheppard's bedside. She sees me and smiles warmly, and when I smile back at her my source gives me a stern frown. I chuff, Lorne chuckles, and when Elizabeth glances back at Sheppard he has already set his features into a neutral mask. He raises his eyebrows at her and makes a little _hmm_ noise, and even though her back is now to me I can hear her snort softly.

"Hey, what was that for?" Sheppard whines out a moment later.

I chuff again as I step up to Tlaxul's bed. My hunter seems sad, and before I can speak he says, "You will be leaving soon, won't you, Tilahuaxutzli."

"Yes, I will," I reply. He tries to set up so I help him adjust his leg to a more comfortable position. "I have spoken with the healer – he will be keeping you here for ten more days. He wants to make sure you leg is stronger before you can go home."

Tlaxul grunts. "Can you not heal it? You healed his wound." He nods towards Sheppard.

"I am too young and not skilled enough to heal the Nixtahuec," I reply. "But soon. Soon. And he is … different."

"Because he is your blood," Tlaxul replies, his tone somewhat surly.

I blink. "Yes, because I am of _his_ blood." My words come out a little sharper than I intended and Tlaxul starts. I even hear conversation stutter to a halt behind me. I dip my head and offer an apologetic smile and I lower my voice. "Our blood _is_ the same – that is why I could heal him. It is not because I do not want to help you, it is because I just cannot right now. And that does trouble me." Tlaxul nods and lowers his own gaze. "Teyla will be back to help speak for you. And these people's food is tolerable. They will treat you like _you_ are the Tilahuaxutzli."

Tlaxul does grin. "Their food is strange, but edible. And Teyla is …." A glower from me only makes him laugh. "Not my wife. Yes, I know, Tilahuaxutzli. I know."

"She is a very fierce warrior, too – as strong as the tall, angry looking one. You would be best to remember that as well."

Tlaxul's face falls. "I did not know that." He fidgets with his blankets a moment. "I shall remember that, Tilahuaxutzli. I will treat her with the utmost respect."

Now I can't help but smiling. "Good. Because if you do disrespect her, I fear the tall warrior may take offense, too." His head snaps up and I don't quite hide my smile in time. He breaks into a broad grin, so I add. "I'm not joking – I can smell his attraction to her when he is near. It would be a wise thing to treat him with respect as well."

Tlaxul's grin turns reflective. "I will do that."

I grab his shoulder and give it a squeeze. "You will be fine. I will let your family know you are doing well and will be home before the new moon."

"Thank you," he replies and smiles wistfully.

There is a bottle of water on the table next to his bed. I open it for him and set it within his reach before I leave him and go over to stand next to Lorne's bed. Elizabeth is looking up at me, her eyes slightly wide, and I know she is staring at my throat. My hand goes up to it automatically and I give her an embarrassed smile.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare," Elizabeth says as she meets my eyes. "It's just that …."

"That is one ugly shaving nick, kid," Sheppard says. Lorne just grunts in agreement.

"You have one, too, only much smaller," I say as I lower my hand. Sheppard feels his throat and feels the nick that is on his larynx. I remember seeing the near miss from the First One's spear that made that. Its next swing didn't miss, however, and I see the memory flit behind his eyes. He rubs his arm. "How is your arm feeling?"

"Kinda tingly, and a little weak, but Carson is sure that will pass with some PT." He flexes his hand a few times and gets a very lopsided and somewhat embarrassed grin. "Thanks, kid." His voice is rough when he says that and he clears his throat.

My expression is a mirror to his as I dip my head to him.

"Yeah, thanks," Lorne mutters and is suddenly very interested in his i.v. port when Sheppard glances his way.

Elizabeth tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles up at me. "Yes. Thank you, Shadow." A brief, uncomfortable silence settles over us, but then she diplomatically changes the subject. "I understand Carson is letting you go home today. You must be getting anxious to return to a warmer clime." The corner of her mouth rises a fraction.

"I am," I reply. "I have a feeling Kintu is anxious as well. He … frets." I shrug and hear Sheppard chuckle.

"Yeah, that's probably an understatement right now." Sheppard clears his throat. "Mother hens – they seem to be a constant everywhere." He glances around to see if Beckett has overheard, but then he notices the raised eyebrow on Dr. Weir's face. That makes him fidget. "Not that that is necessarily a _bad_ thing," he mutters.

oOo

I do stay long enough for one more meal, and shortly afterwards I have a moment alone with Sheppard – Lorne is taking a shower and will be released as well, and Tlaxul is asleep because of a full belly and pain meds. I am sitting on my bed cross-legged and scowling. Sheppard is scowling right back at me. Our conversation has not been going well.

"You still plan on going through with it." He didn't ask – he growled the statement.

"Yes," I growl right back. I hear Tlaxul stir and glance that way. He is still asleep. I lower my voice. "I _cannot_ allow the First Ones to remain loose. For the safety of my people and any others in the jungle, they have to be destroyed."

Sheppard runs his hand through his hair, and I can tell it is merely a failed gesture to calm himself – his lips are pressed so tightly the skin around them is white. "Then take some of my men with you. Ronon, Stackhouse…."

"No." I find myself running my hands over my scalp as well, and can feel my hair stir as I fight the Change. "We will need speed and stealth in our hunt, and your warriors are not familiar with the jungle. This is not your fight."

"Hate to tell ya, kid." He points at me with his left hand, and I can see the tremor in his arm. "It became my fight when those mutant bastards tried to kill my people, too."

I cross my arms. "No."

"God damn stubborn sonuva…." He didn't finish the word, but slammed his fist down on his thigh instead.

We both start when we hear a dry, soft chuckle from behind the partially drawn curtain next to my bed. Beckett comes around the edge and Lorne is with him. He is dressed now and a light bandage covers the wound on his temple. The doctor steps between our beds and shakes his head. "I do believe that is the most perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black I've ever heard."

Sheppard now glowers at the doctor. "Talk some sense into the kid, Carson."

"I am making perfect sense, and you know it."

"Then sedate him and strap him down."

"Enough." Beckett's voice is soft but it cuts through the air like obsidian. He raises an eyebrow towards Sheppard. "As tempting as that may be, it would completely go against my oath." Then he fixes the eyebrow on me. "And I have a sneaky suspicion there is nothing I can say. Do I have that right?" He sounds … sad.

I nod, but my attention returns to my source. "The biggest threat to your people here, in this city, are the Wraith. For my people they are just a small factor in their struggle for survival. The Ixlatecutl, the urtal, the ri'i – they can take more lives in one year that the Wraith have taken in the last three. Now the First Ones …." I stop and take in a deep breath. "_They_ are a factor I can eliminate with certainty, and I _will_ do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of my people. We were all incredibly fortunate that we only lost three lives in their recent attack, but can you guarantee that you and your men and weapons will be present for the next one?" I can see Sheppard's nostrils flaring with the force of his breathing, but I can also see understanding in his eyes. "It is something that must be done, and I cannot – no, _will not_ – accept your help. I … _we_ must do this." I am panting now as well, and fur ripples down my neck and arms. "It will be done," I add quietly and clamp my lips down. I will not argue with him anymore.

Becket has taken a step back and his expression is pained as he watches me. Lorne has his lips drawn into a tight faint grin. Sheppard is still glaring hotly at me and looks like he is about to launch himself at me. He even tenses, and I narrow my eyes and growl. It isn't loud, but it makes Beckett suddenly charge between us.

"All right, you two – settle." He glances between us, his frown disgusted. "I swear – I have the urge to knock both your thick skulls together. You, colonel, cannot continue to take responsibility for everyone in this galaxy. And you, young man, need to realize you have limits and can't do everything by yourself."

"I won't be alone – I will have my best hunters with me," I say quietly. _And enough poison for our darts to bring down every Ixlatecutl in the jungle,_ I think to myself.

Sheppard narrows his eyes. "Just how many hunters?" he drawls out.

I've already made the list in my head and the number comes easily. "Ten. Mounted."

"Blow guns? Bows?"

"Blow guns – need less room, quieter, easier to use when stalking … enemies through thick foliage."

"Personal scanner?"

"I know where I can find one in the Temple."

"All right. Timeline."

"Soon as I get my strength back."

"Who will watch the village?"

"Null field will be reinstated. Shield/cloak can activate automatically with the first sign of any Wraith transmissions."

Sheppard rubs his mouth to hide his grimace. "Okay."

"Good."

During our conversation I can see out of the corner of my eye Beckett's head swiveling back and forth between us. He sighs. "Truce, then?"

Sheppard and I meet each other's gaze for several heartbeats. His expression is still angry, but I can see acceptance. I believe my expression is similar. A moment later he grunts, I chuff, and we both lift our chins in a quick jerk. A silence settles between us, but it seems more … exhausted than hostile.

"Well, then – I'm glad that's settled," Beckett says with a faint smile. "It would have been horrible to have you go home with that little unpleasantness hangin' between yae."

"Yeah," Sheppard mutters and scrubs his face tiredly.

The silence returns for a moment, but Lorne breaks it. "Say, doc – show them what you showed me a minute ago." He looks at Sheppard. "You're not going to believe this."

Beckett pulls a clear container from the pocket of his white coat. Inside two dark stones clatter together. "This is what those bloidy mutant bastards were using as sling stones." He hands the container to me and I frown at the two dark crystals. They have eight sides, their edges actually fairly defined, and are as big as the end of my thumb. "Geology identified them as fluorite crystals."

I hand the container over to Sheppard and he rattles them around. "Man, no wonder why those things were laying us open when they grazed." He hands them back to Beckett.

"Liang and Carpenter wanted them back after they were tested," Lorne says. "At least the mutant bastards used _pretty_ ammo."

_End Note: Hee, I can't tell you how fun it was writing a scene where John was having a pissing contest with, well, basically_ himself


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: And Shadow finally gets to go home! _

**Chapter 5**

I have quite the escort to the Gate Room a short time later. Sheppard insisted on seeing me off and he is in a wheeled chair pushed by Beckett himself. I strongly suspect that is so he can make sure my source stays put and not try to walk the entire distance. We all know he can't do it, but he puts up a fight anyway. The doctor consents to letting the colonel walk into the Gate Room under his own power, at least. I think I am the only one who can really truly see the relief in his tired features at that.

Ronon joins us shortly after leaving the infirmary, and he and Lorne take up positions on either side of us like they are guarding us. It makes Sheppard grimace briefly, but they don't see it.

We are halfway down the hall when I hear footsteps approaching quickly from behind. Ronon and I both turn to see Carrie coming up. She stops right in front of me and gives me a big smile, then an even bigger hug, and a quick kiss on the cheek. Her face is crimson as she says a little breathlessly, "Be careful, Shadow." Then she turns and leaves before her face gets even darker.

I watch her for a moment before I turn back around and continue walking. Ronon and Lorne are both smirking at me, and Beckett just sighs and rolls his eyes. "Careful, kid," Sheppard warns. "You grin any wider your cheeks are gonna explode."

I just chuff.

We stop just outside the Gate Room and Sheppard gets to his feet. His first few steps are slow, but he seems to be doing all right. Beckett and Ronon stay close, however, and try not to be too obvious. Sheppard snarls at them anyway, but after a few more steps I can see the sheen of sweat on his forehead. That is the only thing that betrays his weakness as he ambles into the Gate Room next to me, and I deliberately match my pace to his even though I am anxious to get home.

There are even more people waiting. Zelenka, McKay, and Dr. Weir greet us, and I can see the two injured Marines standing with the other guards across the room. There are even people at the railing above, and I find the sight … touching. The Gate itself has already been activated and the flickering light dances off of every surface.

Dr. Weir steps forward. "Well, Shadow, I'm sorry your stay with us this time was due to such traumatic circumstances. But it's good to see you well again." She smiles at me. "You will be coming back for a visit, I do hope?"

"Oh, yes. Many more," I reply. "And soon." I glance around and try to meet as many eyes as I can. "I cannot thank you and your people enough for all you've done."

"Just keep that promise about coming back and I think we can call it even," Sheppard says. He is leaning against the wall casually, arms crossed. He looks exhausted, and I have no doubt I look the same in my matching scrubs, just minus the dark stubble. I can still see a hint of anger and frustration in his eyes, however.

"I will." I point at him. "You still have to teach me how to … surf, is it?"

He chuckles and grins and his expression eases. "That's right."

"Both of us," Ronon adds seriously.

That makes me smile.

"Take care, lad," Beckett says and Dr. Weir nods in agreement.

After one last glance around I walk up to the Gate. I stop, and it amazes me that I never noticed it had a scent before – like ozone and pure, clean water and, of all things, freshly quarried stone. I glance back one more time and raise my hand, and my last sight of Atlantis is of smiling faces before I step through.

I still do not like the sensation of traveling through the wormhole, but when my next step comes down it is on rough wet stone. I take several more steps before I stop. It does not surprise me to see a Puddlejumper waiting for me, nor to feel the rain coming down with a nearly bruising force. I lift my face to it, eyes closed, and just let it soak me. I can smell the heavy scent of the jungle and my pulse races for a moment as I take in one deep breath after another.

It is good to be home again.

By the time I finally step into the Jumper I am completely drenched. The Marine pilot is grinning at me as I stand there, dripping. "I will sit back here," I say as the rear hatch closes. He nods and turns back to the controls. As the Jumper lifts off I feel the inertial dampeners activate and I stifle a momentary stab of panic. I do not like that faint feeling of being held down by a wet, heavy weight and fur bristles the entire length of my body. But the trip is blessedly short and I can see the Temple through the forward window as he brings us down right in front of it. The rear hatch barely touches the ground before I am out in the rain again.

I am met by Teyla and Kintu. "It is good to have you back, Tilahuaxutzli," Kintu says through a huge grin. I notice two things right away: he has a new, elaborate nose plug that appears to be carved from ivory, and the bulky cast on his broken arm.

Teyla smiles at me. "Welcome home, Shadow."

"It is good to be home," I say and smile back at her. Then I look at Kintu and indicate his cast with a jerk of my chin. "That will not do."

"I agree," he replies. "It itches, and smells."

Before I can say anything else I am swarmed by children. They do not mind the rain so much, and as I allow them to climb all over me I hear shouts of greeting from the adults in the closer huts. By the time I start moving towards the Temple's stairs and shed my extra squirming weight my scrubs are splattered with mud and dotted with dozens of small handprints. Teyla is laughing at me, but her smile fades some when she focuses on something beyond me. I turn and see two children standing solemnly near the edge of the flagstones surrounding the Temple. I recognize Tlaxul's sons, and I go over and kneel down in front of them.

Tlil, the eldest, still has to look up at me. "Did poppa come back with you?" Kel is holding his much older brother's hand and watches me with a seriousness far more mature than his three years. But the finger up his right nostril softens it somewhat.

"No, little one – he had to stay. But he misses you both terribly and asked me to do this when I see you." I scoop them both up with a growl and hug them until they start to struggle, then I tickle them until they are both laughing and squealing. I relent and set them back on their feet. "Now, go tell your mother Tlaxul will be home before the new moon." I turn them around and send them off with a light smack to their backsides.

When I get to my feet my legs are even muddier and I realize I am getting tired. But it doesn't keep the smile from my face as I approach the Temple's steps. Teyla's face is practically glowing from mirth, and at that moment I can understand why Tlaxul was mooning over her.

Kintu asks me about Tlaxul as we climb the steps. I tell him all about the injury and the prognosis, and his sigh of relief is nearly palpable – he was afraid his hunter was going to lose his leg. "How is Poc?" I ask.

"He is still limping, but can ride again." He shrugs at my frown. "His mount is healing, too. _She_ doesn't want him to ride yet." He nods to himself. "His scratches are healing cleanly."

I chuff as we step inside. I see one Marine, then realize it is the pilot. I do not see any others. I glance at Teyla. "How many men did Dr. Weir send?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Nine. There is one on duty monitoring the scanners and three on the wall along with several of your people. They are on an eight hour rotating schedule with perimeter sweeps every two. The sergeant there does a sweep in the Jumper three times a day." Teyla nods to the man as we pass and he raises two fingers to his temple to me in reply. I see he has a computer set up and it seems to be linked to the scanners. "There has been no sign of the First Ones."

I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. We pass the fountain and for once I resist the urge to climb in. "How long will you be staying?"

"I will leave in the morning. The others will leave when the colonel feels their services are no longer required." She sees my tight-lipped scowl and smiles knowingly. "You cannot change it – but I feel you have already discovered his … stubbornness."

I chuff and wonder how she tolerates him.

"I understand he is doing well?"

We stop before the lift and I glance down at her. "Yes. He will have full use of his arm again." I remember her in the garden, her tone, her concern. I wasn't fully unconscious yet, and the memory will remain with me for as long as I live. Her smile then makes me grin in return.

"Thank you, Shadow." Then she does something odd – she places both hands on my shoulders, closes her eyes, and lowers her head. I glance at Kintu. His grin is amused as he mimes the same gesture. I raise my eyebrows in understanding a second later. I put my hands on her shoulders, and when I touch my forehead to hers I decide I like this gesture. I also like her scent – it reminds me of the ocean and the dry, clean air of the Temple's desert habitat simultaneously. Conflicting and intense, but also comforting. She lifts her head a moment later, and when she lowers her hands they cradle the weapon attached to her vest. "If you will excuse me, it is my turn to help walk perimeter." She nods as she backs up a step, then turns and leaves.

I watch until she disappears behind the fountain, and when I turn back around I find Kintu frowning thoughtfully at me. I raise an eyebrow. "I tried to convince her to stay with us, but she would not hear of it. _She_ would be good for you."

I sigh heavily but it is drowned out by the lift doors opening. "First Tlaxul, now you," I grumble as I step inside. "The Tilahuaxutzli does not marry."

Kintu shrugs as he joins me. "The Tilahuaxutzli has been female for as long as I and my father and his father can remember. Things do change."

I frown down at him as we ride down to the medical level. "Interesting plug," I say to detract him from the idea of finding suitable … mates for me.

He grins broadly behind the ivory crescent. "My wife carved it for me to commemorate our victory. She is very clever. I imagine Teyla is very clever as well."

I decide to keep my silence. It seems the wiser course right now.

The doors open and I lead Kintu to one of the smaller exam rooms. As I enter I peel off the wet scrub top – it has grown clammy against my skin since I entered the cooler climate of the Temple. I just drop it on the floor and gesture to the table under the scanner. Kintu is no stranger to this – he lays his arm on the table and I activate the scanner with a thought. The break is healing beautifully, but that cast must go. I can already catch a faint odor of mildew – it is definitely made from material not suitable for our climate.

At another thought a large flat drawer slides silently from the wall. It holds several large sheets of a faintly pearlescent mesh, but I sort through the various smaller remnants until I find a suitable piece. While that closes I open another and retrieve the tools I will need. When I turn back around I find all humor has left Kintu's gaze.

"The ghosts listen well to you."

I've been doing things without conscious thought the past few minutes, so I smile as reassuringly as possible and nod. "It is a gift from my source." I set my tools on the table. _And it frightens me at times as well,_ I think. I do not dare voice those words – Kintu is unsettled enough right now. I set to work cutting the cast from his arm, then clean the irritated skin before I carefully wrap the piece of mesh around his entire forearm. It clings to itself, and once I am satisfied with its placing I pick up a small device that resembles a scanner. I hold it over his arm and activate the mesh. It grows dark and loses its sheen as it hardens. This new cast will allow more air to Kintu's skin and allow any moisture to evaporate. He lifts his arm and flexes his fingers – the wrist is immobile but he will still retain use of his hand while his arm heals – and grunts. "Ah, that is much better."

"What has been done with the bodies?" I ask as I put equipment away.

"We dragged them into the jungle for the scavengers to pick clean."

I find a medical scanner in another drawer and activate it. It still works. "I would like to see them." I hear Kintu draw in a breath and I turn my head towards him. He seems horrified at the thought.

"But, Nixta…."

"I want to understand what they are," I say softly. It has been troubling me that the Ancients could be so careless and cruel, and I want to know why the First Ones failed but the first Guardian didn't. I want to know how much of a difference there truly is between me and them. Kintu is watching me closely. "I will be brief." He finally nods, and I have a feeling he knows why I am troubled.

oOo

Teyla and one of the Marines meet us as we leave the village gate. It is still raining and it will be dark before we return. Kintu leads us to the section of jungle where the attack began, and I smell the thick hot stench of rot long before the others do. I can see the bodies just inside the jungle perimeter and can tell the heat and scavengers will have them rendered down in only a few more days. While the others wait out in the open I scan as many as I can before the smell makes me ill. It gives me a good working base and I head back out into the cleared perimeter. I glance around and suddenly realize that where Sheppard and I killed the urtal only eight days before is close by. Eight days…. We leave in silence, and halfway to the gate I stop and tilt my head back to let the rain wash some of the stench of death from me. I scrub my face hard, but I can still smell it, taste it as it coats the back of my throat. "What happened to the leathers and bones they were wearing?" I ask as I keep my head back.

"We removed them," Kintu replies so softly he is nearly drowned out by the rain. "We placed them in baskets and have them in storage until the rains stop. Then we will cremate them." He is silent a moment. "I recognized Mital's tattoos."

I lower my head and the rain disguises my sorrow. "That is good," I say thickly. When we find the others, I will add their pitiful remains to the rest, Nixtahuec or not. I feel a warm hand on my arm and look into Teyla's eyes. She squeezes gently, then backs away, and we continue to the village in silence. My own silence is as much from exhaustion as emotion, and I am not very aware of my trek through the twilight. Kintu leaves us to join his family once we pass the gate, and the smell of roasting meat does bring me out of my daze. Teyla and the Marine stay with me all the way to the Temple, but I leave them in the atrium to retire to my own chambers. Once I step in I see someone has left a meal of barely roasted Ixlatecutl and a gourd of tical. I fall on it like a starving urtal and don't stop until I am licking the blood from the wooden platter. I only drink part of the tical, however, because it is making me extremely sleepy and I want to bathe before I sleep – I can still smell death on my skin.

oOo

I am stretched out on my sleeping furs, not quite asleep, when I hear the door to my chamber slide open. A moment later a familiar scent washes over me and I smile sleepily in the darkness. A weight settles next to me, and even if I had no sense of smell I would most certainly recognize the pattern of calluses on Xelu's clever weaver's hands as they find my face in the dark. They continue down my chest, my stomach, and when they find my pili I let out a tired sigh and gently, reluctantly, remove them. "I am sorry," I say, my words heavy and slurred. "It is willing, but the body it is attached to is far too exhausted." I crack my eyes and can see the ghost of her pout in the darkness.

"But I've been lonely," she says and her hands settle on my chest again.

I trap her hands to keep them from roaming and take in a deep, deep breath. "I would welcome the company."

She sighs, but a moment later she settles down next to me. "I can be company then."

This time I can feel her pout against my skin. I close my eyes and breathe in her scent and my pili does try to stir again. But two more deep breaths and I am drifting off, the warmth of her small body more comforting than she knows.

oOo

The sound of the door chime startles me awake. I have changed sometime during the night and am curled up under an urtal hide. And I am alone. The chime sounds again and I think the door open and the lights on as I push the heavy fur away from my face. I wonder who it is, since the Nixtahuec usually just enter. I roll over and am surprised to see Teyla. She takes two steps in and offers an apologetic smile. "I am sorry – I did not mean to wake you."

I wave as I yawn wide enough to make my jaw pop.

"I wanted to say good-bye before I left. And to let you know that if you need anything, Sgt. Stackhouse can contact Atlantis at any time."

"Thank you." I throw the fur back and swing my legs around to sit up. I see Teyla turn her head and remember all too late that she and the rest of the Lanteans seem to have a problem with nudity. With the Nixtahuec, it is simply a part of everyday life. I draw the fur back over and give her an apologetic smile of my own. In this form it is a crinkling of my eyes with my whiskers forward and ears half down. She seems to understand. "Tlaxul will be happy to see you."

Teyla gives me a knowing little smirk. "Yes, I believe you are right. Did you sleep well?"

I nod and decide to Change. I am happy to note there is no pulling at all this time, and all discomfort is gone when I press at the scar. "Please tell Dr. Beckett I am resting and healing."

Again, another knowing smirk. "I will. Be well, Shadow." She nods at me and leaves, and the door closes behind her.

And since I am feeling lethargic, I crawl back under the fur and am asleep again in a short time.

The next time I wake it is to the smell of roasted meat. I am lying on my stomach, cheek pressed to fur, and I crack open one eye to see Xelu smiling at me as she sets a platter on the low table in the middle of the room. Drops of moisture glisten in her blue-black hair and on her dark skin, and I can smell the rain on top of her normal scent. She comes over and kneels next to me and is now eye level. She pouts. "Are you going to sleep all day?"

"Sleep and eat, yes." I feel I can afford the luxury at the moment – Sheppard's warriors seem to have things covered quite well.

"Is that all?" She crosses her arms. The effect is quite … distracting.

I chuff and my breath ripples the fur in my line of vision. I reach out and run a finger down her arm to smooth the moisture beaded there. "I may consider other things."

"That is good." She smiles slyly at me and I am quite certain I will not be getting anymore rest this day. Dr. Beckett is going to be highly disappointed in me.

_End Note: He's such a bad, bad boy..._


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: And now for CSI: Pegasus Galaxy._

**Chapter 6**

I spend the next two days doing nothing but eating as much protein as I can and sleeping. And being distracted by Xelu. But I eventually do wander out of the Temple at the end of the second day to take a meal with Kintu and his family, and I gorge on so much meat that night my belly is actually slightly distended.

Kintu, his father Kenje, and I are reclining on mats outside of his hut since the rain has not fallen since this morning, and are sharing some tical. I feel very relaxed – I think it may have something to do with the empty gourd by my hip – and am enjoying this companionable quiet with them. Kintu's children are playing with the others and giving us a moment of respite. They are very busy. Nixi, Kintu's wife, sits down between us. She has a matching ivory plug in her nose as well. She is one of our top artisans, and I have already seen several other pieces she has carved from the fangs of the First Ones. She _is_ very clever. Right now I can see her eyes sparkle as she reaches out and rubs my belly. "Have you felt the child kick yet, Nixta? I looks to be about that time." The two men both grow very still.

I frown thoughtfully. Nixi has never spoken to me this … casually before, and I wonder what prompted this change. But I do not question it overly and decide to play along instead. I widen my eyes and put a hand to my belly. "Perhaps…." I let out a long belch. "No, I am mistaken."

Nixi makes a disgusted sound and slaps my leg while the men suddenly laugh. "You are as bad as him," she says and stares hotly at her husband. But then she is smiling a moment later. "It is nice to have the Tilahuaxutzli show humor now. The other was too serious."

"Nixi!" Kintu looks horrified that she said such a thing to me, and Kenje's eyes go wide in his lined face.

I chuckle softly and grin. "Thank you, Nixi."

"But you are young – that may change yet." She pats my leg. "If you stay away from him, it will only improve. I am sure of it."

Kenje and I both let out short barks of laughter at Kintu's frown. I pick up my gourd, but remember it is empty. Kenje hands me his with a wave to keep it. It is still mostly full, and I nod a thanks before I drink. I watch him settle against his backrest stiffly, and I am not sure he will be with us for much longer. He isn't the oldest in our village – Dixt the potter is at one-hundred and sixty-three years – but he has had a very rough life and I know his pains keep him from leaving this hut some mornings. When he does die, Kintu will most likely become headsman – he is highly respected and well liked, just like his father. I offer a drink to Nixi and she accepts.

"We have been discussing how Tunixta and his warriors have helped the Nixtahuec," Kenje says. "And we would like to show our appreciation to them."

It takes a moment for his words to fully filter through because my mind stopped at the name Tunixta. The name literally means 'father of shadow', and I don't know why I find it surprising they call my source that. I am certain that if Sheppard heard that, he would be as unbalanced as I am at the moment. I see they are looking at me expectantly and I say, "What do you have in mind?" I take the gourd back from Nixi and take a very long drink.

"Everyone needs a good knife," Kenje says. "And we have water-stone to spare."

My eyebrows raise. He is talking about obsidian, and I know that these people value the volcanic glass above anything else because of its rarity. Ever since they lost contact with the village deeper in the jungle, they have not had any new sources, and what they have hoarded is truly not that much. It is an incredible honor.

"I can carve the handles, and I have the perfect piece for Tunixta," Nixi says. "His I will complete first."

I set the second empty gourd next to the first and smile. "They will like that." I cock my head. "I would like to request a few other gifts as well, for the ones who aren't warriors."

Kenje nods. "What do _you_ have in mind?"

"I will have to think on that." I have already decided one of Kelu's feathered masks would be perfect for Dr. Weir. I look at Kintu. "How is the tanning of that urtal hide progressing?" I think it is only fitting that Sheppard have it.

"It is nearly complete. The fur cleaned beautifully, and the leather will be as soft as Nixi's…." He catches a warning frown from her and finishes with, "Hair." Then he is laughing as he ducks a rather weak swing from her.

I look at Kenje and the old man rolls his remaining eye. "I am amazed they have children," he says. Then he is ducking a swing from her.

I struggle to my feet and sway a little once I do. "I would like to stay, but my child and I need to sleep." I pat my belly and leave them just as Kintu begins to mock apologize to his mock angry wife in earnest, and Kenje's laughter follows me.

My night vision is exceptional and it only takes a second for me to spot my shadow to the Temple. The Marine is wearing a pair of those odd goggles and thinks he is being stealthy, so I ignore him and let him have his illusion. And I have no doubt whatsoever that he is there because of Sheppard's orders. I sigh heavily into the night. If I had to be around him and Beckett every day, I fear I would have to hurt one of them eventually.

He hangs back in the trees once I reach the flagstones and saves himself from any harm. I climb the stairs and yawn, and once inside I stare wistfully at the fountain. Not tonight.

I only stop in my chambers long enough to retrieve my own urtal hide then go up to the observatory. The room comes awake the second I enter, but I put it back to sleep immediately.

Except for the walls and ceiling.

Those I order to become transparent, and as I spread out my sleeping fur I glance upwards. The clouds are moving fast tonight, and there are enough open spaces I can see the stars and an occasional glimpse of our world's two moon. One is at half, the other a thin crescent, and I get the impression I am being winked at by some amused sky deity whose name has been lot to antiquity.

I chuff softly and take my belt off before I sit down cross-legged on the fur. The belt was originally given to my predecessor over a thousand years ago, when the city was just beginning and she had a pyramid dedicated to her just off the central plaza. It originally had four rows of beads, but one row's worth has been lost to time. As I run my fingers over the smooth beads I can almost see the original superimposed over it, and I have to blink my eyes a few times. The beads are the size of the end of my thumb and have long since been worn smooth, but at one time the gold ones were ridged seed pods, the jade stylized jaguar heads. A few of those still have a hint of shape under my fingertips, but only I know what their true face once was. The belt has become part of the Tilahuaxutzli, and I carefully roll it up and set it aside. That Kintu and the others went back to retrieve every bead after her death proves how precious it is to the Nixtahuec as well.

I stretch out on my back, hands beneath my head, and watch the clouds. I can hear the Temple humming underneath my thoughts, and the sound is like water rushing over rough stone. It is a simple sound, a soothing piece of white noise, unlike the enormous aware _presence_ that is Atlantis.

I wonder what would happen if I ever stayed on Atlantis for any period time. Would she try to absorb my mind, make it all part of some system subroutine? That thought makes my eyes go wide and sends a ripple of fur down my body. Perhaps I would be treated as another artificial intelligence running in tandem with her. After all, we are both products of Ancient technology, created to serve.

Dr. Beckett's words suddenly come back to me and I grimace guiltily. He is right, but I am the tenth incarnation of what was basically a custodian program. My thoughts are deeply prejudiced. Now I am snarling in the dark as my mind churns. There are times my creators fill me with a sense of wonder at their god-like manipulation of science. Then there are times like now where I would have absolutely no hesitation in ripping out their throats should I ever encounter one in the flesh.

I force myself to focus on the clouds and think of nothing but the play of light and shadow until my breathing calms and my pulse slows. As I begin to drift off I think Xelu will be upset with me. As much as I have enjoyed her company these past two days, tonight I needed to be alone. The clouds fly overhead, and briefly I wonder if Atlantis has any rooms like this before sleep takes me.

oOo

I am awake before dawn. It is raining lightly but from my vantage point I can tell it won't be lasting too much longer. I put on my belt and go to my chambers. Xelu and Kelu are both there and I quietly retrieve the medical scanner so as not to disturb them. Part of me would like nothing more than to curl up with them, but the rest of me has work it wants done and overrules it.

I spend the morning studying the scans I took of the First Ones and am not surprised at what I find. The chromosomal aberrations are consistent with inbreeding, but the other genetic mutations I find can only be side effects of their nature that time eventually brought out.

It makes me wonder if my own sterility was planned.

I venture into the jungle again and retrieve some bone samples. It is a good thing I haven't eaten yet because I am gagging by the time I am done. Normally the smell of rot does not bother me, and I wonder if this is more of a psychological reaction that a physical one. When I return to the Temple my usual escort of children stays far away from me. I clean the bones quickly then return to my now empty chambers. I spend a very long time in the bath, and when I finally climb out it takes half a gourd of tical to kill the odor that still clings in the back of my throat. There is a cold breakfast of meat and flatbread waiting for me, and I force it down even though I am not very hungry.

I go back to the lab and lay the now dry bones out. All have deformities on them that range from rough lesions no bigger than the end of my smallest finger to crippling fibrous masses. Cross sections of the healthier samples show the bone is thicker than it should be but interspersed with irregular vacuoles. The marrow is nearly twenty percent less than norm and shows a sizeable decrease in its ability to produce red blood cells. A few other bones show similar physiology – apparently anemia was a problem with the First Ones.

The masses are completely unrelated. They are still slightly spongy and yield to pressure in some areas. Closer examination shows them to be caused by a neurological aberration and has caused connective tissue to metastasize and calcify. The pain must have been incredible.

My previous assessment of the First Ones being an unhealthy race seems quite correct.

During the course of my exam I see one of the Marines look in on me. I just nod at him and he does that two-fingered salute to his temple right back. He isn't the one who trailed me last night, but he is one of the Marines who was present for the attack. Pawlowski, I believe. Odd name.

By mid afternoon I am sick and tired of disease and death so I catalogue and store my samples then leave the Temple to seek out the village's children. They will be a cure for the darkness that has settled over me during the past few hours. I find them in the back garden with the women as they prepare the tinixi vines for the first crop of the year. The vines produce a large nut that is the main source of flour for our flatbread. The casings, fiber for cloth. It is the only crop the Nixtahuec actively cultivate – everything else they need can be harvested from the jungle. I receive many relieved smiles as I distract the younger children – the older ones pout when they are made to stay and help prune out dead growth and replace broken frames.

Soon I have a dozen little ones chasing me through the empty rows away from the others. At one point I remove my belt and loincloth and change into my full panther form. I can carry four of them easily on my back, and usually have at least two dragging along through the mud behind as they cling to my tail. Eventually they all try to climb on me, and even though I can carry all of their weight with ease I stagger aimlessly, let out an exaggerated groan, and finally collapse into the biggest mud puddle I can find. They try getting me up, but I just roll and gently swat them away. Only after I am nice and covered do I get up and shake long and hard, and by the time I am finished they are as filthy as me.

I earn a few reproachful frowns from some of the mothers.

By the time twilight comes and the little ones have been collected to be bathed, my mood has lightened considerably. I change back to human and gather my belt and loincloth, and as I wander back to the Temple entrance I see several women shaking their heads. But they are smiling.

As I come around the side and approach the Jumper I see the rear hatch is open and can hear voices. I stop and glance in and see the HUD is active. The sergeant is making his daily report to Dr. Weir. Normally I know when the Gate is activated – the Temple tells me. The children really had me distracted, but that isn't a bad thing. I start to back away but I see Dr. Weir squint and lean forward a fraction. "Shadow? Is that you?" The sergeant turns around then lets out a short bark of laughter.

"Hello, Dr. Weir," I call out and wave.

Her hand rises briefly to her mouth. "What have you been doing?"

I step into the Jumper and make sure I am holding my belt and loincloth in a manner that won't offend her with my nakedness. When I get closer I hide my grin. "I've been gardening. I get … exuberant." I shrug apologetically.

Now she does laugh. "I see."

My grin finally cracks. "How are Tlaxul and Sheppard doing?"

"Tlaxul is lonely, but Teyla has been keeping him company. The colonel is getting … antsy. I think Carson is getting close to releasing him if only to get him out of his hair." The way she smiles then makes me believe this is routine. "How are you doing?"

I sigh very deeply. "Much better." My smile is very content. "And I better leave and clean up before this mud gets too itchy." I nod to her as I back up a few steps before I turn around.

"Take care, Shadow," she says as I leave the rear hatch. She sounds very amused. I wave again before I step around the edge and out of sight.

This time I do crawl into the fountain. After I clean the mud off I just stay behind the cascade and float. I don't know why I find this so relaxing when just the faintest memory of being in the clone crèche and surrounded by the nutrient gel sends me into a blind panic. Perhaps just the simple fact that my face is _clear_ is enough for my mind. But I do enjoy the water, and am sad I never got to learn to surf.

I don't know how long I am there before I feel I am being watched. I sit up and see two figures standing beyond the falling water. I recognize their stance, their tilt of head and hip, and grin. Oh, yes, they are angry with me. I crawl forward – not because I'm trying to be penitent but because I just don't want to leave the water – rest my arms on the lip of the fountain, and look up at them. Xelu and Kelu both have their arms crossed, and are frowning, and they have absolutely no idea they don't appear intimidating in the least bit.

"You did not come to your chambers last night," Kelu says. I think she is jealous that her sister has been hoarding me while she was in the women's hut the past few days.

"Sometimes even the Tilahuaxutzli needs sleep," I say and am rewarded with a faint blush from Xelu.

Kelu directs her frown briefly to her twin. "Are you rested now?"

My answer is to dart forward, wrap my arms around their waists, and drag them screaming into the fountain with me. They protest, and fight, and try to push me under, but they really don't mind the water as much as they are pretending to then.

I do not know when the Marines have their next shift change. I do hope it isn't soon.

oOo

The next day I fully return to my duties as the Tilahuaxutzli, and my routine doesn't change too much. I check on Poc to see how his injuries are faring – the scratches across his legs from his mount taking offense are healing fine. I suspect the antibiotics Beckett gave him for his leg wound contributed to that. I make my rounds and check on any other sick or injured and the expecting mothers – there are very few and that doesn't take long.

A group is going out into the jungle to take advantage of the damp, loose soil to harvest pitu roots, and I accompany them as a guard along with a handful of hunters. The rest of the men are working on the wall, and soon we will have to go plunder the closest pyramid again for more material. A couple Marines join us – I think they are growing bored but they do their best not to show it. I make conversation with them and they seem relieved to have someone they can understand. I will have to remember to spend more time with them. They are a little reserved around me, but I don't mind. I eventually get them to open up, and they are sharing some stories with me about my source when I suddenly spot a flash of crimson and yellow in the undergrowth nearby.

I change even as I launch, and the women closest to us freeze. A moment later I come up with a snake longer than I am tall and whose body is as big around as my calf. It twists to strike, but I am faster and catch it just behind its head, claws extended. One good hard twist and I am holding the head while the rest of it writhes at my feet. Kintu trots over and I toss the head to him – ri'i venom is very deadly and we will need all we can get for the hunt that will be coming soon. Kintu tucks the head into a pouch hanging from his saddle pad, and once the body has stilled I hand it up to him so he can run it back to the village. Roasted ri'i is very, very good. He turns his mount and is gone in a flash. When I rejoin the Marines I stay in my intermediate form. Their eyes are very wide and it takes awhile before they start talking with me again.

My favorite duty of all is distracting the children for the gardeners. That will never get tiresome.

For three days I keep occupied with small tasks. At one point I stand outside the Temple and study the exterior for so long Kintu finally walks up to me and studies the overgrowing vines as well. "What are we looking at, Nixta?"

I have my arms crossed, and when I glance down he is mirroring me. "I am thinking of clearing some windows – it is too dark inside."

Kintu nods thoughtfully. "It is." Then he just walks off. I think he may believe I will recruit him to help so he escapes while he can. It is tempting, but this I want to do myself. I go inside and dig through the Ancient medical equipment until I find a small laser scalpel that will work perfectly on the tough vines and roots. I decide to start with the windows over my chambers – there is a balcony there that I would like to use.

Climbing the exterior of the Temple is easy once I change, and soon I am cutting away. I can see over the wall at this height as well as most of the garden. I will like this. A short time later I feel the Gate activate and I freeze, but no alarms go off. It is not Wraith so I go back to work. I have the balcony entirely cleared and am starting on the window next to it when someone shouts up at me from below.

"Hey, kid! You better have a damn tether tied around you."

I start and look down. Sheppard is grinning up at me, his eyes hidden behind dark lenses. I lean out as far as I can off the balcony and show him my claws. "I have these – they work just as well."

Sheppard scowls at me briefly. "Get your ass down here."

I chuff, tuck the scalpel into my belt, and climb over the balcony. Halfway down I just push away and land in a crouch right in front of him.

"Showoff," he mutters.

As I straighten up I change to human. My grin is as wide as his. "It is good to see you up and about."

"Yeah, well, my stay in the infirmary got cut short this time."

I nod slowly. "Beckett was getting annoyed with you."

"That, too." He taps me lightly on the arm. "C'mon, got a surprise for you." He jerks his head towards the front of the Temple and starts walking.

As I fall into step next to him I ask, "What brings you here, besides this surprise?"

"Figured it was about time to come collect my boys. Sounds like everything is back to normal."

"It nearly is."

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye, his grin completely gone. "Could you at least take Ronon with you?"

"No." He is tenacious, I will give him that. But so am I.

He sighs wearily. "The big guy is going to be disappointed."

"He will get over it." As we come around the side I can see two Jumpers near the stairs. And Ronon is standing there, obviously waiting for us. He isn't wearing his usual leathers, but instead is in lightweight clothing. I don't see any gear with him other than his normal weapon strapped to his leg, but I suspect it is in one of the Jumpers. We stop next to him. I meet his eyes and shake my head.

Ronon grunts and claps one of his hands on my shoulder. "I understand." He squeezes and gives me a shake that makes my head flop on my neck like an infant's.

Apparently _he_ understands much better than Sheppard does. Then I am distracted by a joyful shout from the Jumper.

"Tilahuaxutzli! Did you miss me?"

My face splits into a wide grin as I see Tlaxul being carried out on a stretcher by two Marines, Teyla and Beckett flanking him. I clamp down on my smile and shake my head. "No, no. Not really." He just laughs at me. I look at Beckett, but I can see Teyla smirking. "He's early."

"Aye. He was progressing much faster than I expected. I didn't see the harm in bringing him home early." He glances at Sheppard then, and I have a feeling they have been … colluding.

Then we are all distracted by a joyous squealing as Tlaxul's sons find him. I gesture for the Marines to set him down so his children can reach him. They do, then back away to give them space.

Beckett comes over and gives me a once over. I am quite filthy from my pruning, but he smiles. "I don't need to ask how you're doing, do I?"

I smile and shake my head. Then I glance at Teyla. "Tlaxul behaved himself?"

"He was a perfect gentleman," she replies with a faint nod and an even fainter smirk.

I chuff.

oOo

They didn't leave until twilight descended. I had plenty of help in setting up a space for Tlaxul and his family in the atrium. After Beckett discovered the new cast on Kintu's arm, we take the time to change out Tlaxul's as well. I gather a few of the sheets of mesh, a cutter, and an activator together for him to take back to Atlantis. He leaves some crutches for Tlaxul, and it doesn't take long before he is hobbling around the atrium. For now the stairs intimidate him, but I fear that will not last long.

I don't have a meal to share with them, but I do share some tical before they leave. Sheppard is the last to go, and we pause at the top of the stairs. He gives me a tight lipped frown, his nostrils flaring briefly as he looks at me. I narrow my eyes back at him. We stay like that for a moment before he sighs heavily and shakes his head. "You be careful, or I _will_ come back here and kick your furry ass."

"I do not doubt it."

"Huh." Then he digs into a vest pocket and pulls out two items. I recognize the earpiece and know what that is for, but the other item I do not. He hands the latter to me. "This is your own IDC. Trigger that after you dial the Gate and we'll know it's really you and lower the shield." He looks like he is about to say something more, but clamps his lips down. Then he just nods, once, and heads down the stairs.

I stay at the top, and when the Jumpers lift off one turns towards me. Sheppard waves at me. I wave back. Then they are gone.

The second I feel the Gate open I lower my head, connect with the Temple, and reinstate the null field. I take the earpiece and IDC up to my chambers, then go searching for Kintu.

We have a hunt to plan.

_End Note: Dun duh DUHHHHH! And it won't be for wascawy wabbits..._


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note: You gotta run through the jungle... Check out my bio page - I have a link to a pre-lim portrait of John & Shadow! It's from the scene in 'WTF' shortly after they hear the urtal scream._

**Chapter 7**

It has been six days since Sheppard and his people left, and five days since we entered the jungle. Even after all this time and the rains it is surprisingly easy to follow the First Ones' trail. Like the urtal that they are based upon, they like to mark their territory with scent and scratches on tree trunks. The deep scores that are a long reach above my head are easy to spot – with the extra moisture in the ground from the rains the scars weep thick sap that attracts hundreds of insects.

And they've left behind a trail of decimation and death.

The First Ones leave messy camps, strewn with bones and debris, and just leave their dead where they fall. We recover a few scraps of leather to add to our collection, but no bones. They apparently loot their dead for any decoration, and the medical scanner I carry with me can tell if the remains we find are human or not.

We move fast, the only supplies we carry are salves and medicines for any injuries, and three spare mounts carry extra weapons and baskets for the remains. Everything else we need can be taken from the jungle itself. I have left my belt behind, and any clothing since I spend most of the time in my full panther form, only changing to the intermediate when I need to communicate or use the medical scanner. Kintu and I have the lead, and from first light to twilight we are on the move constantly, only stopping for water and to feed our Ixlatecutl and ourselves or examining the dead. When we camp for the night they always let me sleep first – my watch comes during the darkest hours of the night where my vision will serve us best.

I have not required much sleep as of late. I admit I am pushing myself, but if need be I can go days without sleep, so the few hours I receive each night are adequate.

It is nearing twilight when we find the remains of a _human_ camp, and I smell it long before we come across it. It is too small to be a proper village and the few lean-tos we spot seem to indicate there were several people here at one time. The small clearing is awash with old blood and the scattered and still somewhat wet remains of three First Ones lay in the jungle.

Kintu and Xul, our best tracker, dismount and cautiously enter the clearing with me. I have my nose down – the First Ones' scent is still fairly strong and I feel this camp hasn't been abandoned for more than four days at the most. We are getting closer.

The area is clear and Kintu signals for the others to approach. As they are bringing in their mounts I find a sizeable scattering of cracked bone. I change and retrieve the scanner from a supply basket. They are human, and very clean. Kintu sees my ears and whiskers go flat and he gets one of the larger baskets without a word. He, Kaza, and I gather the remains, and the pieces barely fill a third of the basket. We find a few personal items in the camp – a necklace of pale blue shells, a few scattered beads of polished iridescent stone, some scraps of bright cloth – and carefully gather those up as well.

Even though it is a good spot, we travel on to make our own camp. I slip away immediately and follow a familiar scent, and when I return it is nearly dark and my hunters are frantic. Especially Kintu. The wild Ixlatecutl carcass I am dragging only mollifies them so much. I change and go off to the side while Kaxa and Tlon start to skin and gut the bird. Poc starts a small fire – he insisted on coming with us, and his primary mount is one of our pack animals. She is still not ready for him on her back, but the baskets are fine with her. The men cut enough meat for their own evening meal and one in the morning; the rest will be given to their mounts.

Kintu brings part of a raw haunch to me. I accept it and immediately start eating. "You frightened us, Tilahuaxutzli," he says rather angrily.

"I needed to think," I growl around a mouthful.

He looks back at the carcass, takes in the shredded condition of its neck and chest and the fact that the head is barely attached, and grunts. "Next time you need to think, think on this." He taps the tree next to him with his knuckles. "It is easier on _our_ thinking." He stomps off, and for a moment reminds me of Dr. McKay. I think it was his expression.

I don't blame him for being angry. We are all on edge with this necessary task. I finish my meal alone, then change back to my full form to groom the blood from my fur. Then I curl up into a tight ball and sleep. When I wake on my own several hours later I see Tlon is on watch. I chuff softly to let him know I am awake, and I see him nod in roughly my direction. I make a circuit of the camp and check on everyone and look for any snakes that may have come seeking body warmth. The Ixlatecutl stir restlessly when I approach, but soon settle once they recognize my scent. After I add more wood the fire I climb a tree that gives me a good view of the camp and settle for the rest of the night. A few hours before dawn an urtal screams somewhere in the darkness and everyone comes awake, but it is far away and does not pose a threat. Just as a precaution, however, I descend and mark a wide perimeter around our campsite.

No one sleeps after that, and we are ready to move before dawn has fully broken.

oOo

Our journey has been taking us closer and closer to the coast, and the jungle has grown denser as we progress. It has slowed us and we are forced to follow game trails through some areas. That means we must move single file, and I do not like that. I take the lead during those times, Kintu's mount nearly stepping on my tail as he follows, and everyone is tense. Two days have passed since we found the camp, and I know we are close. The First Ones' stink lays heavy on the trail, and we found a body this morning that scavengers had only just started to tear apart. I cannot find any obvious injuries on him, but the scanner shows a trace of ri'i venom in his system. This one still retained his leather mantle and ornamentation, and we take the time to remove those, wrap them, and tuck them carefully away with the rest.

We all recognized Paxul's tattoos and it has hardened our resolve.

The trail widens and just as I am about to step up my pace I pick up a new scent and lope to a halt. Kintu slides to a halt beside me and I can hear the others stopping as well. The jungle is … still. Too much so.

I change and stand, ears as far forward as they will go, and listen. I take a step away from Kintu, and out of the corner of my eye I see him bring his blowgun up. I take one more step, lips parted so I can taste the air, my head swiveling from side to side and ears straining for the slightest change,. That is why I catch the buzz of fletchings and dive out of the way, and the arrow cuts through my left ear instead of imbeding itself in my eye. I snarl in pain and come up, claws extended, and that is when I see him.

It is a man. He is taller than the Nixtahuec, but not as tall as me, and his head is shaved except for a topknot. His face is either painted or tattooed red from his nose to his high hairline, and has an odd, flat forehead that makes his face seem far too long for his head.

And he is readying another arrow.

I can hear more movement in the undergrowth and am certain he is not alone. That is confirmed when a moment later another arrow comes from the underbrush to my right. I'm not so quick this time, and it goes through my upper arm as I dodge it all too late. A word rises up in my memory and I shout it out. "Ku'alchi!" It is an old word, one used when the city was great and it had trade with tribes from all over the peninsula and beyond. Traders used it as a greeting, and a farewell, and it simply means _my friend_. I see a flicker of recognition in the man's eyes, but he still has his arrow nocked and drawn back to his ear. "Ku'alchi," I repeat.

Kintu moves up next to me, his blowgun to his lips, and I see Poc come up behind him.

The man stands there, his eyes wide in his face as he watches us. Two more men fade out of the jungle near him – they are armed with bows as well. I can hear movement behind me, but I don't dare look. Besides, I know my other hunters will have them covered. Finally the man repeats the greeting and slowly relaxes his draw.

Calling up that one word brings up more information in a white flood, and I get dizzy. I sway and stagger a half step to the side as I put a hand to my head. But it passes quickly and leaves a mild headache in its place.

"Tilahuaxutzli?" Kintu says and glances down at me.

"I am fine," I reply. I look at the new hunters and hesitantly try the old trade language. "We do not mean to trespass – we are hunting demons who attacked our village."

They start faintly, then confer rapidly among themselves. Their language contains many glottal clicks and I cock my head, ears forward to listen. The motion makes the fire in my left ear explode and I choke back a growl. My memory finds a dialect similar to the hunter's and I slowly repeat my earlier statement. I cannot get the clicks quite right, but I must be close enough because they all cry out in surprise, including the ones behind me. I glance briefly that way and see two more before I return my attention to the others. Their next words send my pulse racing and my headache throbbing.

"We hunt demons as well."

From the way they are watching us – particularly me – I can guess their thoughts. I translate for Kintu, and he puts his blowgun away and dismounts slowly. That brings more quiet discussion.

The first man gestures towards Kintu and his mount. "You are from the White City," he says a moment later. "We thought it … dead."

I blink as more information rolls through my aching head. "Yes, we are." I squint my eyes down. "We live in its shadow. We are Nixtahuec." I use our own name – I can't even begin to reproduce their equivalent.

"We are DˀQui."

The word is nothing more than a hard consonant followed by a glottal click ended with an aspirated vowel. It is the sound a bird should make, not a human throat. Then he makes another click/aspiration, and when I don't react he does it again and taps his chest. Ah, his name – ˀQi. I tap my own chest. "Nixta." Then Kintu introduces himself. I go to lift my right arm to indicate the rest of my party when a flare of pain reminds me of the arrow. It doesn't hurt nearly as bad as my ear or head, but it has to go. Kintu is watching me closely. "Steady it," I say as I turn so that arm faces him. He grabs the shaft from where it protrudes from my triceps without question and I snap off the rest from the front. He pulls the shaft out in one smooth motion and I growl softly. I look at the piece in my hand – the point is very finely worked agate – and glance up at ˀQi. "Poison?"

"No."

I chuff and approach ˀQi slowly. He and the two hunters tense, but I just hold the broken shaft out to him on the open palm of my hand, claws retracted. Good points can always be reused, and it is a fine one indeed. He takes it with a soft grunt and tucks it into a woven pouch on his simple belt.

oOo

We have moved down the trail to a small clearing so we can all face each other in a more civilized manner. My ear has already healed, and every time I flick it to shoo insects away from the drying blood I can feel the tear in it. My arm is almost healed, and some zaxutl gum has taken care of my headache. I am sitting crouched down on my heels, Kintu and Xul flanking me, the rest of my hunters and their tethered Ixlatecutl behind us, their blinders up so they are calm. ˀQi is crouched down on his heels across from me, his four hunters standing behind him. They hold their bows casually, but if they are anything like my hunters they can have them up and an arrow nocked in a few heartbeats.

It is getting easier for me to speak their odd, clicking language – the dialect in my memory is only five hundred years out of date – and I am being understood with only minimal confusion now. I have learned that their tribe has a few villages closer to the coast, but also small familial bands that travel the jungle as well. The camp we found was not ˀQi's, but they saw the First Ones as they left after they exhausted their … food supply. There were nine people in that band – men, women, and a few children. They had been tracking them for two days, and were returning for reinforcements when they encountered us.

I also learn there are eighteen First Ones left.

Some are still recovering from wounds received during the attack on my people, but the majority are healthy. We will have to be very careful, but I am confident we can take the majority down before they even know what is happening.

"The leader is a giant, wears many skulls on his belt," ˀQi says. "He speaks, but I do not know the words."

My ears go back and they all tense. They are still incredibly nervous around me so I force my ears to relax. "Can you lead us to them?"

ˀQi nods slowly. "You will need stronger weapons."

I almost smile with my teeth, but that would be bad. "Our darts are tipped with the venom of the red and yellow snake. And my hunters are very good." ˀQi and his hunters shift slightly. "We have plenty to spare." Now they look amongst themselves.

ˀQi nods thoughtfully. "That will work." Then he gives me a fierce grin. "My hunters are very good as well. We will lead you to the demons." Then his grin fades and he studies me in silence for a moment. "Why do you hunt your kind?"

It is an honest question. My ears go flat and fur rises along my neck and spine, and everyone present shifts nervously. "They are not my kind," I say softly through my teeth.

The hunter on ˀQi's right – Tilibutu if I remember correctly – is an older man, and he actually seems rather curious as he stands there, watching me. He has been silent until now. "You are from the White City," he says rather thoughtfully. "We have tales of the White City we tell our children." The rest of his party look at him, and one of them makes a rude exhale that seems to be a universal sign of disgust. He earns a reproachful glance from Tilibutu. "Tales of a shadow goddess in the jungle who eats misbehaving children."

I feel the corner of my mouth twitch. "She wasn't a goddess," I say quietly. At one point, though, I believe she may have thought herself one, and that fills me with a sorrow so deep I have to lower my eyes a moment and fight the ache in my throat. When I finally speak again, my voice is thick. "And she never ate children – just Ixlatecutl. She loved her people too much." When I look up, my fur has settled and my ears have relaxed. Tilibutu is still watching me very closely. I believe he is too clever for his own good.

"Are you her son?"

"In spirit, I am."

He grunts softly. "Then you must have the face of a man as well as this, this shadow one?"

I meet his gaze for a long time before I answer. "I do." I stand, and Kintu mistakes the action. He steps forward, hand on the knife at his belt, and Xul tenses as well. "It is all right. Please, be calm. They have heard of the Tilahuaxutzli."

Kintu lowers his hand. "Of course they have," he says, and I honestly cannot tell if he's being sarcastic or not. I wouldn't put it past him.

I meet the gaze of each of the DˀQui briefly. "This is my true face," I say and change. My ear twinges briefly and I force myself to keep from smiling at their surprised cries. ˀQi launches to his feet, and even though he is the tallest of his party and almost a head taller than Kintu, I am a head taller than him in my human form. I can smell fear coming from some of them, so I dip my head briefly. "Ku'alchi."

ˀQi actually steps forward and pokes me hard in the chest, as if he's making sure I am what I am. Then he walks around me, and I just follow him with my head. When he comes back around he stands right in front of me. "You have fought these demons with success before?" I can see his gaze is on my throat, and no doubt he took in my other scars from that long day as well.

"We have," I reply. "With the help of friends."

ˀQi grunts and nods. His fierce grin returns. "Ku'alchi."

oOo

We travel until twilight, and I leave briefly again to hunt down another wild Ixlatecutl for our evening meal with our allies. They are impressed. I eat roasted meat in my _human_ form that night, and at one point I catch Kintu watching me. When I raise an eyebrow at him he just shrugs casually. "I had forgotten how pale you are, Nixta. That is all." My skin is just a little lighter than his thanks to the sun, but I fling a bone at him anyway.

I do shift back to my full form, however, and that briefly disturbs our new allies until Kintu rubs the top of my head vigorously like I am his son and says, "Ku'alchi." I growl softly at him and swat him away with a blunt paw. He just laughs as he staggers sideways, and I chuff disgustedly and roll my eyes. My other hunters chuckle, and that puts the DˀQui at ease. I curl up and am asleep shortly thereafter. When I wake up several hours have passed and Kintu and Tilibutu are sitting up at the fire and playing a gambling game with multi-length sticks that is popular with our people. They both nod at me when I approach, and I see Kintu is losing badly. Apparently Tilibutu is a quick learner, because he has quite a small pile of the round, purple new leaves of the ground vines they are using as currency. I chuff and go to make my rounds. When I come back they are still playing, and Kintu has won some of the leaves back. I climb a nearby tree, and they only bed down an hour later, the match at a draw.

_End Note: Sorry folks - I had to put my BA in anthropolgy to use in this one. . I can even almost do the glottal clicks! _


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: And it's a rumble, in the jungle..._

**Chapter 8**

I have come to the conclusion the First Ones are incredibly arrogant. They have not posted any sentries at their camp even though my hunters have taken out five of their number during the course of the past few days, even when they _knew_ after the second fell that it wasn't from a random snake in the jungle. We caught up to them the day after we met ˀQi and have been silently stalking them ever since. The first one Kintu took down was a straggler as they beat their way through the jungle – they are arrogant in the way they even move through the dense growth – and we learned it took ten heartbeats for the pure ri'i venom to work on it. We have since mixed it with zaxutl gum and the root of the night blooming isi flower. The latter is hard to come by – it grows in the upper canopy, and it took me awhile to find some growing in this area. The new combination will kill a First One in just under four heartbeats now, even quicker if the dart hits in the crease behind the knee or the armpit. The others that have been killed were on the fringes of their party. They began traveling closer together this morning, and we haven't had much opportunity. The First Ones have to stop and rest frequently, and they make camp early. I suspect the inherent anemia is to blame. But we have been following them patiently, waiting for this moment.

Of my ten hunters, three remain half a day behind to keep track of the Ixlatecutl. And to gather the leather and bones of our people. The DˀQui were mildly horrified at first, but after I explained why we were doing it, and what will be done, they understood. I asked if they wanted what we recovered from the DˀQui camp, but after quiet deliberation they asked that we take them and honor them with our own. I retrieved the necklace and beads that we found, and SˀHa, the youngest of the group, recognized the necklace. It belonged to his sister's husband's kin, and soon there were names to the dead. I committed every one of them to memory. SˀHa took the necklace and beads to return to family.

All of the DˀQui accompany us. They are as silent as my hunters, and I can see a mutual respect growing between both groups of men. The Nixtahuec have a slight advantage with their size, but the DˀQui are quite adept at imitating bird calls and have an elaborate signal system worked out that blends in beautifully with the natural sounds of the jungle.

ˀQi and his hunters have also borrowed our spare blowguns to use in the dense undergrowth, and have proven to be quite proficient in their use as well.

For several hours now I have been in the upper canopy, watching, waiting for the signal that the rest are in position. They have been carefully surrounding the camp, and I am certain the First Ones' sense of smell is not as good as an urtal's, or they would have caught their scent by now. Their hearing, however, is good, and several times a few have stopped and listened. Their ears don't move like mine, and they have to turn to catch sounds around them.

When they aren't filling the air with constant noise, that is.

Their throats and fangs garble their language, but I recognize it. They speak a bastardized form of Ancient. And the infighting amongst themselves that I hear would almost be comical if I heard it coming from the Nixtahuec. Of the thirteen remaining First Ones, only four are female. Though female urtals are as fierce as any male, the males are incredibly territorial, and the male First Ones have not lost any of that … urge for dominance. The leader is constantly wandering among them, slapping them with the flat of the weapon he carries, or simply cuffing them to the ground with the swipe of one hand. His claws are usually extended when he does.

I am beginning to wonder if some of the dead we found in the jungle are casualties of his discipline.

The leader is huge. He is taller than Ronon, and his neck and shoulders are thick with muscle. He wears a mantle that covers his back, and his forearms and shins are wrapped with thick layers of leather. I count ten small skulls hanging from his belt, and they clatter as he walks among the others. The weapon he carries is as long as his leg, and the edges are studded with obsidian. He hefts it easily one handed, and I can see the muscles in his shoulder and back bunch under the mantle. His fur is a patchwork of old scars, and like all the First Ones present, he has small bald patches and gray, lumpy growths amidst his russet spots. There are a few with worse tumors, if that is what they are, but not many. And if he has the neurological aberration, it does not show in his movements.

I remember him standing outside the wall, in the rain that night. Arrogant then, even. I have told the others to spare him – he is to be _mine_.

It is nearing twilight and the signal finally comes. The trilling is held a few beats longer than it should, followed by a break a beat shorter than normal before the next set. I hear it four more times, from different areas, after a pre-determined count of twenty between calls.

Now it is my turn to be the distraction.

I practically run headfirst down the trunk of the tree I am in, my claws digging for purchase just to keep my descent controlled. Halfway down I push off, change to my intermediate form, and land. I know they have heard me – I am close enough to their camp they will even be able to _see_ me but with enough trees between us to make accurate spear throwing difficult, even with their throwing sticks.

And, just in case a few are deaf, I roar a challenge as well.

The camp is on its feet, and a few spears do fly towards me that I am able to easily dodge. Half their number drops before they realize what is happening. Some turn to the jungle and charge, looking for attackers, but they soon drop as well. I do not get time to admire the hunter's skills with their blowguns because the leader is charging me.

I meet him halfway.

I am much faster and easily duck under the swing of his heavy club to catch him low. It is like tackling a tree, but my shoulder connects _underneath_ his skull studded belt and we both roll across the jungle floor. We break apart immediately, and I barely dodge another swing as I regain my balance. The club slams into a tree trunk and obsidian shatters, but not after gouging out a sizeable chunk of bark. I dart forward to slash at unprotected belly as I fly by, but he swings with his free hand. I jerk to the side and just miss losing an eye. The bridge of my nose is sliced open, and a second later blood runs from above my right eye and tries to blind me. I back up and shake my head, and drops of blood spatter the foliage around me.

We circle each other. He takes a few more swings at me, but I stay out of reach. "I know you," he growls out, his words barely discernable. "You were at the walled village."

"_My_ village," I growl back. I have to shake my head again to keep my vision clear. The bleeding should stop soon.

The First One makes a choking noise, and it takes me a moment to realize it is laughter. "You side with these hairless animals?" He swings. I dodge. "Their kind cursed us!" Swing. "Turned us out, left us for dead!"

"That wasn't my people who did that to yours. Or any of the others you've killed." My anger has my fur bristling and I want nothing more than to charge forward and take out his throat. But I need to get rid of that club, or my skull with be pulped. "That was the Ancients, and they are long dead."

"Does not matter." He swings, and I notice he is getting slower. "Blood is blood, and the hairless ones are close enough."

I have backed up far enough so his next swing clips a tree. The tip of the club splinters and more obsidian is lost. I take advantage of his unbalance and charge. I go under his return backswing and my claws find the muscle in the pit and underside of his arm and slice deep as I go by. He immediately loses strength in that arm and roars in pain, but he doesn't lose his grip.

I am on his back in an instant. The leather protects his back only so much as my rear claws find purchase and I go for his face. He grabs one of my arms with his free hand, and his own claws dig deep. Only then does he drop his club and manages to raise that arm and catch me. His strength is still prodigious, and he pulls me from his back with ease and throws me at a tree. I barely twist around and my feet, not my back, hit the trunk. Before I drop to the ground he is on me.

He catches me in a flying leap, and we hit the ground and roll. Our attacks are a blur and have the same objective – ripping out the other's throat. In a matter of seconds my forearms are slashed in a dozen places and bleeding heavily. The leather wrappings protect his, but I manage to score a few hits on his face. He lays open my chest at the same time I take one of his eyes. We both roar in pain and break apart, but I roll to my feet quicker than he does. My legs bunch, and I leap before he has regained his balance.

We go rolling again, but this time when we stop I am on his back, my arm under his chin, right wrist braced in the grip of my left hand.

He grabs hold of my arm with one hand and the pain is terrible as he tries to pull me away to get more air. "You … kill … your own blood?" he gasps out.

"_YOU ARE NOT MY BLOOD!" _I pull back with all my strength, and for a moment I am back in the garden and I have another First One in my grasp. I can also see the image from my nightmare as well, and the look of defiance on Sheppard's face before I rip his throat out. I do not hear the crack of the First One's neck breaking in my rage, but I feel my arm break from the pressure as I try to rip his head off.

That sharp pain brings me back to my senses, and I scramble away from the body. I drop to my knees, my arm cradled against me, my breath coming in ragged gasps as adrenaline and pain both run through me. If I had anything in my stomach then I would surely be vomiting. I can see Kintu and the others approaching – my own hunters appear nearly as unsettled as the DˀQui.

Except for Kintu. He is grinning fiercely behind his nose plug.

I think I grin back. I do not know, because a moment later I feel myself pitching forward as I lose consciousness.

oOo

I come awake fighting sometime later, my arms, face, and chest burning. The fight leaves instantly, however, when I try to brace myself with my hands against the jungle floor and my broken arm makes me choke back a scream. Then I hear Kintu.

"Nixta! Be calm. You are all right. Be calm."

I collapse onto my back and cradle my arm. At some point I have changed back to human, and someone has wrapped my forearms with strips of inner tree bark. The bridge of my nose and my right eyebrow feel tight, hot, but they are free of any makeshift bandages. There is another piece of bark adhered to the four deep gashes on my chest, and make my entire chest ache with every breath. Kintu finally leans into my field of vision, and he is extremely worried. "My arm. Broken."

He just grunts. "We did not know." Then he is pressing something to my lips, and I taste zaxutl gum.

I take the ball, give it a few chews to moisten it, then shove it between my cheek and teeth to make it last longer. It helps with the pain immediately, but the burning continues. The First Ones weren't the cleanest animals, and the fear of severe infection has me panting. "We need the supplies." I need the medical scanner.

"SˀHa has run back to Poc and the others. They should be here soon." He pushes me back down onto a bed of broad leaves they've laid out for me. "Now, be calm. You lost much blood."

"The arm…."

"We will take care of it." He calls Tixatl over – the hunter is probably the strongest of our group. They unwrap the makeshift bandage and I see the deep gashes across my arm. Some are still seeping, and that worries me. Kintu gently pokes, finds the break, and I chew some more on the gum. By the time Tixatl sets it I only chuff softly from the pain, then they are splinting and re-wrapping it, vines over the bark. The salves with our supplies will help – they contain natural antibiotics from various plants growing in the Temple.

Kintu pulls a vine down from overhead and cuts a deep slash in the underside with his obsidian knife. He holds it to my mouth and I greedily suck down the water that pours from it. It is slightly sweet from the sap, and it tastes wonderful. I drink until it has no more to give, then settle back. It is dark now and I can see the light of the fire dancing on the branches and trunks around me. "Did anyone get hurt?"

"Tlon got bitten on his ass by a snake," Kintu says as he settles down cross-legged next to me. "He is lucky it was not a ri'i." I roll my head slightly to the side and look up at him. He doesn't appear to be joking, but he is grinning down at me. He pats me on the shoulder. "Rest, Nixta – you deserve it."

_No, I _need_ it_, I think as I close my eyes. I must fall asleep, because I jerk awake sometime later to a commotion – it is my remaining hunters and the Ixlatecutl coming in. I struggle to sit up, and a moment later I feel a hand on my back helping me. I get upright and am surprised to see my helper is Tilibutu. He grunts and shrugs as if it is nothing, then drags another vine down from overhead, slices it, and holds it for me. I drink that one dry, too.

Kintu and Tixatl are there with a pack basket a moment later. The first thing I ask for is the medical scanner, and Kintu hands it over without hesitation. Tilibutu lets out a surprised click as I hold it to my right arm. The break was clean, and not that bad, and it has been set well. The cuts on my face will just require some salve, but the gashes on my arms and chest, however, need cleaning and redressing. Kintu and Tixatl, with Tilibutu's help – he is apparently skilled in some of their people's healing arts – set about doing that. It is incredibly painful, and by the end I am listless from another heavy dose of zaxutl gum. But the wounds are packed with salve and redressed with fresh bark, and the burning has subsided some. I am startled out of my stupor sometime later when someone holds roasted meat under my nose, and I grab it with a growl. I have eaten half of it before I realize it is snake. I sit up, again with help, and look at Kintu. "Is this the snake that bit Tlon?" I ask around a mouthful.

Kintu snorts disgustedly. "No. Would you eat something that has bitten Tlon's ass?"

I chuff and keep chewing away. "That is a valid point." I hear Tlon exclaim, then a moment later something thumps off of Kintu's back.

"He said it, not me!" Kintu says and throws a slightly smashed sasa fruit back toward the other man.

"You were in the way," Tlon says back. Soft laughter fills the air.

I glance around the camp and see everyone accounted for. Some of the men are asleep, and the DˀQui are sitting in a cluster by one of two campfires. Tilibutu sees me, gets up, comes over and crouches down next to me. He hands me more meat, and I take it with a nod of thanks. "You recover quickly," he says with a jerk of his chin as he eyes my face.

"I do." I lick grease from my hand before it runs into my bark dressings, then attack the meat. Bird, this time. "I will be able to travel soon."

He grunts and returns to the fire. I glance that way and see all of them looking at me, and I realize through my zaxutl induced haze they no longer show fear in their eyes. I look at Kintu, and see him watching me very closely, all of his previous humor gone. I raise an eyebrow at him while I chew, and he frowns. "I do not know what the demon said to you," he says quietly, thoughtfully, a second later. "But we all know you are not of its blood. You are the Tilahuaxutzli, yes. _And _you are Nixtahuec. Do not forget that."

I blink, my meal temporarily forgotten. I did not realize my last words had been in Nixtahuec.

"Now eat, rest. We will camp for one more day until you are well enough to travel." Then he ruffles my hair like he would do to one of his children and grins. I push him away, but it is with my broken arm, and I growl softly. He sighs and shakes his head.

I drink yet another vine dry before I settle to sleep. My dreams are warped by the zaxutl, and for the first time in several nights they are not nightmares.

oOo

I sleep through to nearly twilight the next day, and it is an extremely full bladder that wakes me. I sit up on my own even though Tilibutu is nearby. I wave him away when he makes as if to help, but getting to my feet does require a steadying hand. I thank him before I wander outside of the camp boundaries to relieve myself. I do hear Kintu shout to me that I won't find any women that way to help me with my condition. I will throw something at him after I finish.

I find a very soft sasa fruit on my way back, and my aim with my left hand is very good.

Even after I retrieve the medical scanner and sit down at the fire the laughter is still rolling through the camp. There is more snake roasting over the flames, and judging from its size it must be ri'i. I start to peel the now brittle bark from my chest, then brush the dried salve away. The skin around two of the four long dark pink scars is red, but not too hot to the touch. The infection is mild but my healing ability seems to be fighting it adequately. Next I scan my arm. I will need to keep it splinted for a few days yet. I am able to remove the bark from my arms as well, and a few of the deeper gashes are definitely infected. I know which plants I will need to eat over the next few days to try to keep it at bay until we are back at the Temple.

Kintu drops down next to me, a faint purple stain from the sasa on his forehead. I grin at him, then have him hold out his arm. It is healing fine – the events of the last several days have not aggravated it.

ˀQi and Tilibutu join us a moment later. The four of us talk for a long while as we eat, and I learn more about their people. The DˀQui were treated quite badly during the peak of the White City's power – rival tribes captured many of their people to be sold for slave labor, and because of that they abandoned many of their coastal villages and became jungle nomads. The practice made it easier to allude capture. I search my memory and find reference to them, and I find a great deal on the slave trade and my predecessor's hatred of the practice. Once the city fell, the DˀQui quit having any contact with tribes in the deeper jungle, and worked hard at avoiding outsiders in general.

Their isolation kept them from being noticed by the pale demons from the sky as well.

They have been forming permanent settlements again by the coast only within the last two generations. Between the sea and the jungle, they have everything they need.

We are invited to their village – it is a four day run from here. Kintu eagerly accepts, and I only act as interpreter as he and ˀQi start discussing the possibility of trade between their people. ˀQi cannot speak fully for his village's headman, but I know Kintu, as one of the higher ranking individuals in his village, can speak for Kenje, son or not. We do not talk too late into the night – I am tired and they see that. I promise to help them speak again in the morning and excuse myself. I drop to my makeshift sleeping mat and am asleep shortly thereafter.

oOo

I sleep through the entire night, and the next morning when I wake I know I have a mild fever. But I do not bother Kintu with that knowledge. I grab the leaves I need and chew them as we pack up our meager camp. The baskets of bones are full now, and that gives me a heavy heart as I help tie them in place. In another month it will be dry enough back home to give them a proper cremation ceremony, along with bones of the two who fell during the battle. It is difficult during the rainy season to honor the dead, so until then they sit in a charnel hut awaiting a drier time.

Soon we are on the move, and the DˀQui set the pace. They travel at a steady, ground devouring jog, and it seems they know every game trail in the area. For our Ixlatecutl, it is a lazy lope, and they seem to enjoy it after the breakneck pace we put them through on the way out here. I would love to run in my full form, but that would require a three-legged gait that would get very tiring very quickly. I do travel in my intermediate form, however, since I seem to have more stamina that way. The fever still takes it out of me, and by the end of that first day I am exhausted. The scanner shows the infection has not spread, but is still present, and I can beg off my tiredness as just simply recovering from my injuries. But I see Kintu watching me closely out of the corner of my eye. I ignore him.

The next morning the fever is worse, and my head is pounding. Kintu and Tilibutu notice, and before we leave the DˀQui healer has me chewing on a root that their people use. It seems to help, and during the course of that day's travel we stop several times so I can drink extra water and chew more root. I only make it to twilight because of a dose of zaxutl gum I sneak when no one is looking. I am asleep shortly after eating, and Kintu does not wake me until it is nearly time to go. My head feels like it is packed with coals and throbs with every heartbeat as I stagger away from camp to relieve myself. The two mildly infected gashes on my chest have cleared up – what is making me sick are some of the deep punctures on my arms. One is bad enough that we have to slice it open and drain it, then pack it with salve. That … is not pleasant. After more root and zaxutl, I am ready to travel. I do manage a jog, which surprises everyone present, including myself. I attribute it to pure blind stubbornness and pain killer, however.

But one day away from the village I completely collapse. We had left our camp several hours before and I truly was feeling a little better, when the world suddenly swam as if I was watching it through the falling waters of the fountain. The next moment I see the pale green belly of an Ixlatecutl fly over me, and I wonder how that could be since their wings are very tiny. Then it grows dark.

_End Note: Awwww, lookit the little tweety-birds..._


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: I only mildly whumped Shadow. Honest, Sheppard! Don't frown at me like that..._

**Chapter 9**

I come awake by degrees, and I have that light, trembling sensation throughout my body that comes after a high fever breaks. It is a nice feeling, but soon other ordinary things begin to intrude upon my comfortable euphoria – the smell of wood smoke and people, the squeal of children, the dim roar of surf. I can tell I am lying cocooned in a hammock and I try to crack open an eye to see where I am. All I seem to be able to do is make my eyebrow climb up my forehead – the eyelid is being incredibly stubborn. I hear feminine giggling very close by just as I _finally_ get that eye open. The other eye soon follows, and a couple of blinks later I see the hammock I am in is suspended between two of many poles that support a large thatched roof.

The giggling comes again and I roll my head towards the sound. There are three young women sitting between me and the edge of the platform the open hut sits upon. The DˀQui women dress much more modestly than ours – all three wear simple wraps that cover them from their collarbones to nearly their knees. The colors are far from simple, however, and I imagine they glow like bright plumed birds in the sunlight. They also have their hair shaved back to show off their peculiar sloping foreheads. I'm still not sure if I like the effect or not. They are all spinning thread with drop spindles, and when I smile somewhat lopsidedly at them they all dip their heads, hide their smiles behind hands, and giggle some more. It is … nice.

Someone behind me grunts in surprise, and when I try to crane my head around to see the motion sends my hammock swaying slightly. But soon I see Kintu grinning at me. "It is about time you woke up, Nixta. These people are impossible to talk with, and I have never been able to sound like a bird." A few more of my hunters wander into view – Poc, Xul, Tlon, Kaxa – and all are grinning just as broadly. The women pick up their work and leave to another round of giggling, and we all watch them retreat to the far end of the platform. Kintu lifts his hands and make an exasperated noise. "They have been here all this time. I cannot understand why – _you_ have been rather dull to be around lately."

I rub my face, mainly to hide my grin. I still feel mildly disconnected from my body and my touch feels strange. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Two days. It's been a day since we dragged you here behind my Ixlatecutl. She is not pleased with you."

I chuff, and as I lower my left arm I notice a fairly new slice in the skin. Ah, they had to drain the puncture again. But the scar tissue is healthy, and the skin around it is not inflamed. "I imagine she isn't. Carrying you is work enough." I grin at his disgusted noise as I set my hand back on my stomach, and I bump the splints on my right arm. I look down and grimace. "I need…." Kintu is handing me a gourd before I can even finish the sentence. "I was going to ask for the scanner, but this is needed, too."

Kintu snorts and shakes his head. While I am taking care of my full bladder he disappears out of my sight. I hear him dig in one of our baskets, then he comes back and exchanges the gourd with the scanner. He hands that to Tlon, who grimaces and leaves to take care of that. I scan my right arm first – the bone is healed and I can take the splints off now. I check the other wounds and see all infection is gone. Upon looking back at my other scans, I see where my blood count was very low. That explains the fever and infection – I simply didn't give myself enough time before we were on the move. But the numbers are within reason now that I've healed. I motion for Kintu to show me his arm, and he holds it for me to check. But not after he rolls his eyes and sighs. I chuff back. His arm is doing well. He helps me get rid of the splint on my arm, and just as we finish I hear someone call out in alarm. I look up and there is no doubt in my mind that the angry man approaching is Tilibutu's brother. The resemblance is too close.

"What do you think you are doing?" he says sharply to us as he comes up onto the platform.

"My arm is healed," I say, and he obviously doesn't believe me because he pushes past Kintu and glowers down at me. I lift my arm, and he pokes and prods and turns it this way and that, and I do not react since there is very little pain. "It really is," I add just as I see Tilibutu quickly approaching.

"Atu – leave the telˀqtˀq alone. He is fine. I told you he recovers quickly."

The word Tilibutu used for me was comprised of more clicks than actual sounds, and I blink at the translation my mind supplies – shadow spawn. Tilibutu is there a moment later, and he is grinning down at me. "Forgive my brother – he does not believe something until he sees it." That earns him an angry scowl from said brother. "It is good to see you awake. Your fever was quite high – we were very concerned."

"It is gone now."

Atu grunts and has to check for himself. Then he clicks, purely just a sound and not a word this time, and shakes his head. "If there were more people like you in this village, I would have to become a fisherman."

"And that would upset you most terribly," Tilibutu says with a grin. His brother clicks at him again, and I find myself smiling.

"Fish are easier to deal with." My stomach growls quite loudly then, and Atu nods down at me. "I imagine you are hungry – we were only able to get water in you the past day."

"I am. I would be most grateful."

"We will find something for you." Then he glances sternly towards the three young women at the end of the platform and raises his voice. "Perhaps our _daughters_ can do something useful besides mooning over the stranger and bring him some food…." The three young women in question giggle, drop their spinning, and practically run off. Atu and Tilibutu look at each other and roll their eyes in unison. "Daughters," Tilibutu says with a shrug.

My smile grows wider, and I chuff. I can see Kintu looking at me curiously, so I provide a translation of what has transpired. He laughs, and gives the two fathers a sympathetic nod. He has one daughter just a little younger than them, and one very young son.

"I will tell Jiˀqi you are awake," Tilibutu says. "He is our headsman – he has many questions for you." He ducks his head briefly before he heads off.

Atu stays with us, and he settles down on the floor near the edge of the platform where there is more of a breeze. I start to swing my legs around so I can sit crosswise in the hammock, but a strangled noise from him and a snicker from Kintu stops me. I look questioningly at Kintu, but it is Kaxa who answers. "These people are … shy, Tilahuaxutzli. You may want to cover yourself."

I feel my ears actually grow warm. "I did not bring any cloths."

"I have a spare. It will fit. If you borrowed one of his…." He smacks Kintu lightly on the shoulder. "You would still be hanging out." Kintu grunts and smacks his back. "That would be unbecoming for the Tilahuaxutzli." He grins briefly and leaves to dig in the baskets.

I take a moment to glance around, and from what I can see, it appears that only the children run naked. Kaxa brings the spare loincloth, and my hunters stand guard while I make myself presentable. I go to join Atu, and he nods in approval at me. We all sit, and I spend several minutes as translator while Atu asks Kintu and my hunters questions. He is genuinely curious about their size, and when it is revealed that Kintu is one of the tallest members of his tribe, he is surprised. He looks at me questioningly, and all I say is my parentage is … different.

We are interrupted by the young women returning with food – fruit and dried fish and an odd, incredibly flat item that isn't quite bread but smells similar – and I am thoroughly distracted for a moment. With them are Tilibutu and ˀQi and an older man with gray in his topknot that must be Jiˀqi. While they sit I try not to be discourteous and just grab and bolt food. I force myself to eat in a … civilized manner. It is difficult. They allow me a moment to eat in peace before they speak. At first it is simply introductions, then general questions about each other's people. Things that I can listen to while I chew, then translate. Only after I have eaten my fill does the conversation begin in earnest.

At first it is just pleasantries and pretty much a repeat of the conversation Kintu and ˀQi had in the jungle as Jiˀqi gets a feeling for his guest. They speak of wives, and children, and how many people there are in their villages. Kintu only gives minimal information on the Temple – I would have provided a slightly less truthful translation had he not – and explains why his village is walled. The Ixlatecutl have grown numerous, and I am quite certain the volcano to the north has something to do with that. They simply migrated south when their habitat was destroyed. But unfortunately, it brought the First Ones south as well.

And after that starts the serious discussion about what these two tribes can offer one another. The DˀQui have dyes that come from shellfish, and basalt and agate for tools. They have some plants they use for medicines that have my interest, and after a quick discussion with Atu he will send some samples back with me. He is interested in some plants that only grow in the deeper jungle as well, and we soon work out an exchange.

The one thing that really has Jiˀqi interested are the Ixlatecutl. Or, more specifically, the fact that the Nixtahuec ride them. The DˀQui do hunt them, but the idea of the tiny Nixtahuec taming the predators has him amazed.

"They are not _entirely_ tamed," Kintu says. He gestures to several of the scars on his lean body from the years. All of the hunters nod in agreement – they all carry marks from their mounts as well. "They do have tempers, and can still kill even with their blunted claws."

Jiˀqi nods in understanding. "Would you be able to teach us how to raise them? To ride them?"

Kintu studies the headsman for a moment. "You are large – I think an Ixlatecutl could carry you, but I do not think it could run like it does with us." He rubs his chin as he thinks some more on the idea. "We may have to teach you a different way to signal – your knees would be in your ears once you got your feet under the wings. And that is a very uncomfortable way to ride." His hunters laugh softly, and once I translate the DˀQui laugh as well. Kintu nods thoughtfully. "It is possible. Whoever you choose to be keepers and riders would have to live with us for a time to learn."

Jiˀqi nods. "That is understandable. And acceptable."

I fight the urge to grin at the thought of possible future intermarriage between our two peoples. The Nixtahuec's future has suddenly become less … grim. My predecessor would be elated. I certainly am.

Jiˀqi and ˀQi spend a few minutes discussing who would be the best candidates to send, and in a short time they have settled on five names. ˀQi is one, and the prospect has the man incredibly pleased. The conversation ends as it began, with pleasantries. I learn the DˀQui still use the trade language with the tribes further along the coast. It has changed some in the past few centuries, and I am quite sure some of the older Nixtahuec still remember a little of it. There will have to be lessons for the younger ones, and Kintu grumbles at the prospect of future instruction. I chuff at him, and when I turn my head back I see Jiˀqi staring rather curiously at me. So is Atu.

"You are the … son of the shadow goddess?" Jiˀqi asks hesitantly.

I smile and shake my head. "No, I am not. You might say I am of the same family, however, _and_ we are _not_ gods. I am just a …." I almost say guardian, nothing more. But I stop and glance briefly at Kintu. "I am Nixtahuec."

Jiˀqi seems a little disappointed, and Atu just seems … skeptical. "My brother tells me you change, and he has assured me that you are not like the demons that killed Tˀqi's band. But, as you know…."

Tilibutu laughs. "He has to see it to believe it." Atu just sticks his bottom lip out and waves in agreement.

I find myself smiling and am not offended in the least bit. Their daughters have been sitting within earshot for the entire conversation, and I glance their way briefly. "Your people do understand what I am?" I say as I fix my eyes on the headsman and raise an eyebrow.

Jiˀqi glances at the young women as well, then is looking at ˀQi. "I am sure the tales have gone around the camp. Several times." He shrugs. "Our village is small."

I nod. "All right." I am sitting with my knees up, my arms resting comfortably on top of them and my back against a pole. I just stay in that position and call the Change. The surprised shrieks from the young women is expected, but it still makes me cringe and flick my ears at its nearness. Atu's mouth drops open, and his brother just laughs at him.

Jiˀqi's expression doesn't change, but his eyes do grow rather round. I can see several people beyond him stop and stare, and they seem to be studying me as much as they are their headsman. Finally he clicks and leans forward to poke me hard in the arm.

He and ˀQi must be related.

"He can run on four legs, but he must be naked to do so," Tilibutu says off-handedly to his headsman. Jiˀqi clicks again and just shakes his head.

I turn my head to the three young women. They are all holding their hands to their mouths, their eyes just as wide as Jiˀqi's. I droop my ears, push my whiskers forward, and smile very crookedly. They all blink, and the giggles return.

Ah, much better. When I turn back around I find Atu and Tilibutu both frowning at me, and I feel my ears get warm as I duck my head. Kintu just laughs at me.

oOo

We are fed very well that night, and the variety of meat available is astounding. I am constantly asking Atu and Tilibutu's daughters what each new item is. Their fathers keep a close eye on me, and I behave myself. They have a drink that is nearly as potent as our tical, but I only take enough so as to not insult our hosts. That makes my sentries ease up on their scrutiny some. But their mothers…. Not so much. They watch me like an urtal stalking a lame Ixlatecutl. My hunters are as amazed by the variety of food as I am, and we have a running argument over which is best. So far the large sea turtle is the leading favorite, and a fish with a name I am hesitant to use because it is too close to a slang word for the female reproductive organ a close second. That brings comments I don't dare repeat to our hosts, and it is hard to explain the loud laughter over a piece of _fish_….

All of my hunters are present now. Earlier Kintu had to keep guards around our mounts at all times to keep the curious away. The DˀQui seemed to think they were pets – they were blinded so they would stay calm in their makeshift pen – but when Kintu finally relented and allowed Jiˀqi to sit on one, it objected and threw him. And tried to go for him once he was on the ground. It made a lasting impression, and the DˀQui keep their distance now.

As we were returning to the large hut they set aside for us afterwards I chuffed down at Kintu. "That was not wise putting him on Poc's bird."

Kintu frowned somewhat smugly and shrugged. "I don't know, Nixta. I thought it was very wise."

"He could have been killed."

"You would have gotten to him first."

I just frowned down at him. I would have, and I know it. I chuffed again and shook my head at his … deviousness. "Then Poc would have been terribly upset with me for killing his mount."

Kintu shrugged. "He has others that are more even tempered. And she is getting old." Fortunately, we had the conversation out of Poc's earshot.

During the course of the night I learn the secret behind the DˀQui's odd shaped heads when I spot a few very small children with their head wrapped tightly. I even see one infant strapped to a carrier, their head placed in some kind of wooden framework. Ah, skull deformation. I think for a moment, and find reference to another tribe on the eastern coast that practices something similar. Odd practice – it makes the DˀQui look like their faces are all … nose and vaguely bird-like.

The feast lasts quite late, and by the time all of my hunters have collapsed into their hammocks with very full bellies both moons are high in the clear night sky. Very few villagers are awake now, and no one seems to notice as I slip through the village and follow the sound of the sea. The path is very wide and well worn, and soon I find myself standing on the crest of a low hill and staring down at a rocky shore and very small beach naturally protected by two low outcroppings of columnar basalt. There are several odd, round hide boats sitting above the high tide line in the natural little harbor, and racks with nets fluttering in the breeze line the gentle slope of the hill. I walk down past them and sit on the dark sand. My predecessor was familiar with the eastern ocean, and its pale beaches where one could walk for days and not encounter an obstacle. I think I like this shoreline better – it seems more wild, untamed. Primal. I draw my knees up, rest my arms on them, and just watch the waves.

Sometime later I hear footsteps approach, and the wind is blowing inshore so I cannot catch a scent. A moment later Jiˀqi carefully sits down next to me, a plugged gourd in his hand. I lift my chin at him, and he nods back, and we both watch the waves in silence. He eventually unplugs the gourd, takes a long draught, then hands it to me. I accept – it is more bitter than our tical, but just as smooth. I hand it back.

Jiˀqi stretches his legs out with a wince – the bruises from his fall are getting quite dark, and I would not be surprised if his tailbone is cracked. He leans back carefully on one elbow and sighs faintly as he adjusts his weight to his hip. "I think I will leave the riding for the younger men," he says thoughtfully a moment later.

I chuff.

"My people will be treated well in your village?"

"Kenje will treat them like long lost family, I am sure." I see Jiˀqi glance at me before he takes another drink. He hands the gourd back. I drink.

He makes a quiet click. "Ah, your headsman." He takes the gourd back. "But I am thinking it is still _your_ village."

I look down at him, but he is watching the moonlight dance across the waves. "I am quite protective of it, yes. And I listen to Kenje and the elders." I do not mention that for the most part, they seem to let me be.

I get a briefly raised eyebrow from him. "So, you keep the village safe. Even from the sky demons?"

"I do."

He takes another long drink, then passes it to me. There is not much left, and he gestures for me to finish. "I would like to see your village – see what is left of the White City – but my days of running through the jungle are long past. My nephew ˀQi will have to be my eyes for me." He gets to his feet rather stiffly and spends a moment staring down at me. Just when I am starting to get uncomfortable he smiles and shakes his head. "Our people like to give names to strangers that reflect their family or their status. It is an easy way for us to identify new people, associating them with terms we are familiar with. If we were to name you it would be Man Who Is Not Son Of The Shadow Not Goddess But Village Protector." The word he supplies is comprised of so many clicks and odd drawn out vowels my throat aches in sympathy. "…But it would take too much time to remember. Instead, I think we will just call you Telˀqui." The name is simple and just means Shadow Man. "I watched your hunters while you were ill with your fever. If you watch over them with half that fervor, I am content sending my people with you." He bends down briefly and clasps my shoulder in a strong grip. "You and the Nixtahuec are welcome here anytime."

I dip my head briefly. "Thank you."

Jiˀqi makes a couple clicks before he straightens up. His gait is quite stiff as he walks back up the hill, but it seems to be smoothing out by the time he crests it and disappears.

I sit and watch the waves until the first moon is shining in my eyes and my yawns threaten to make me drool in a most undignified manner. When I return to the hut that is our guest quarters I find a folded piece of fine cloth in my hammock. I take it out to where there is light and unwind it. It is long and wide enough for a loincloth, and the black material has a small amount of embroidery at both ends. Someone copied the designs of my hunter's tattoos quite skillfully, and in the pale light they are the color of blood. I carefully refold it and hold it to my nose. Ah, Atu and Tilibutu's daughters made it, and I wonder when they had the time to do it as I go back to my hammock. I will have to remember to thank them in the morning.

I dangle one leg from the hammock and send it swaying with the occasional swing of my foot. I may have to see if I can take one of these back with me – they are certainly more comfortable than the Nixtahuec's shorter, flatter ones, and the cloth is much softer. I fall asleep shortly thereafter, surrounded by the soft snores of my hunters and the dim roar of the sea.

_End Note: Now y'all know how he got the nick in his ear and where he got his new, "formal" loin cloth... ._


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: Yeah, I think I'd be giggling, too. But now, time to get Shadow's fuzzy butt home..._

**Chapter 10**

Twenty-one days after we entered the jungle on our hunt we return, our party doubled in size and our spare mounts surly from the extra weight on their backs. The DˀQui gave us several gifts to take back with us as a show of goodwill between our two peoples, and even the riders have small bundles attached to their saddle pads. I am glad _they_ don't grumble as much as our Ixlatecutl. Poc's mount even consented to be ridden again – I think it is because he is much lighter than what she was carrying that first day.

The guards on the wall spot us, and by the time we reach the gate it seems the entire village has come out to welcome us home. The ten DˀQui with us are all wide-eyed as we are swarmed by family and friends. Ah, yes – our women tend to wear much less clothing than theirs. I imagine it is quite a shock.

Kenje and Nixi are the first to greet us, and the relief on both their faces to see Kintu alive and whole hits me hard. I feel a brief stab of guilt at endangering my hunters so, but then not one of them balked when I asked them to join me. The guilt disappears the moment Nixi embraces me in a hard hug, her face wet from tears as she buries it in the fur on my chest. Then she has hold of my whiskers and tugs me down. "I told you to stay out of trouble, Nixta. Now here you have new gaps in your fur. What are we going to do with you?"

I am trying very hard not to move – my whiskers are very sensitive and her grip is making my eyes water. When I speak, I try to do so with as little lip movement as possible. "I thought you told Kintu to stay out of trouble. And we both know how well he listens."

She snorts in amusement and finally lets go. "You will have to tell us how you got those. And who these strangers with the big eyes are." She is now sizing up ˀQi, who is closest to me, and he nods tentatively back at her.

"These are friends we met in the jungle," I say as I rub my muzzle. "I will introduce everyone shortly." Then Kelu and Xelu are there hugging me, and I see ˀQi's eyes get even wider. Kenje is standing to the side, patiently, while they fuss over all the new scars on my forearms and chest. I catch Kenje rolling his eye and my ears droop in embarrassment. Pretty soon, however, they and several of the other women are among the other DˀQui and herding them toward the village gate with smiles and happy chatter that may not be understood, but certainly has them all smiling back in a friendly manner. I finally get a moment with Kenje, and I tell him who the strangers are as we all file slowly towards the gate. "Do you speak the old trade language?"

He frowns. "I do, but is has been awhile. I am sure it will come back with practice." He turns and gestures for a few of the older Nixtahuec to join us. While he does that, I motion ˀQi and Tilibutu closer – the healer came with four trackers to learn the way to our village. I also suspect he wasn't about to let the younger men have all the fun. I make introductions in the trade language, and after a hesitant start it is obvious they will be able to understand each other adequately. I only have to translate a few minor details, and that gives me much hope for the days ahead.

I am kept very busy until well after dark helping the DˀQui getting settled. For now they will be staying with some of the elders until more permanent arrangements are made. I thought about offering them lodging in the Temple, but they all seemed very hesitant about even approaching it. Perhaps in the daylight they will feel different – at night it is very imposing. I find Tlaxul hobbling around the village on his crutches, and he just laughs at my flattened ears and scowl. I do make him stand still long enough so I can scan his leg – it is doing fine, so I let him go with just a minor growl.

The women put together a fairly impressive welcome home feast for us on short notice, and the DˀQui sample our tical before hand and all agree it is much better than their pulˀqi. I join the feast already in progress – I took a breather to bathe and dress in my new cloth. When I sit down Tilibutu sees and grins rather proudly. I just shrug back. His and Atu's daughters all turned crimson when I thanked them for the cloth. Their mothers were present, and they even had a hint of color on their cheeks by the time I finished telling them how clever and beautiful their daughters were. They still watched me closely, however, and the memory makes me grin. Perhaps I should have left off the beautiful part….

After everyone has eaten their fill, Kintu, along with the help of Poc and Tlon and what I suspect is a considerable amount of tical, tell the gathered village the tale of our hunt for the First Ones. It is a lot more … dramatic than what I remember was a lot of running, little sleep, and creeping through the jungle practically on our bellies towards the end. When it comes time to recount my battle with the leader, Kintu's young son, Natlu, joins him. He jumps into the circle of firelight, his fingers crooked like claws, and gives out a pitiful roar from behind a mask of black feathers. Several villagers cheer loudly. I can feel my ears get warm, but I am grinning and cheering along with them. Kintu promptly assumes the role of the giant First One – the size discrepancy between him and his son is very amusing – and I wonder when they had the time to plan this. The battle is fierce, and contains a lot of terrified screaming on Kintu's part, and at one point Natlu pretends to rip off one of his father's legs and chases him around the fire as Kintu hops just out of reach. Finally Kintu falls and his death-throes are very impressive. And noisy, incredibly noisy. Natlu sits on his stomach after he has stilled and preens to everyone's delight.

Everyone has been laughing hard, even me. Tilibutu is sitting next to me, and he leans in close, his expression thoughtful. "I do not recall that much … tickling involved."

My cheeks are wet and sore from laughing. I shake my head and rub at the scar on the bridge of my nose. "Neither do I."

-oOo-

For several days I hardly slow down, and when I finally do get a breather Nixi finds me and drags me to one of a handful of stone buildings in our village. Several are the communal kitchens, others are reserved for the artisans. The largest is for the weavers and their looms, and the potter's house has a small beehive shaped kiln built next to it. Nixi takes me to one of the smallest buildings where she and the other carvers work. I duck under the low lintel and the first thing I see is the urtal fur. It is impressive – the tanners did a wonderful job, and the fur is pristine. Lying on top of it are the knives in leather sheaths. All of the bone handles are etched and dyed with the swirling red and black patterns our hunters tattoo themselves with.

Except for one.

The bone of that handle is carved to resemble a stylized xuc – the monkey that lives in the tinu tree. I let out a short bark of laughter as I pick it up. Dr. McKay will probably not know what it is. "Whose idea was this?"

"Kintu's. He thought it appropriate." Nixi is grinning as she picks up a knife that is still sitting in her work area. "This is for Tunixta," she says almost shyly.

I set the xuc knife down and carefully take the one she holds out to me. The handle is one of the fangs from the urtal, its surface etched in geometric patterns that are reminiscent of Ancient writing. I pull the blade and find it is longer than the others and made of the obsidian that is streaked with red. The knapper put a slight arc in it to mirror the curve of the fang, and it gives the impression it is deadly no matter which end is used. I chuff. "This is beautiful, Nixi." I carefully slide it back into its sheath and notice the leather has been tooled as well, the designs matching those on the handle. "He will be very pleased."

Nixi blushes as she takes it back. "We thought it fitting." She sets it with the others, then gestures at the rest of the gifts laid out. "Are these acceptable?"

I look over the other gifts I've requested. For Dr. Brown, her scientists, and the medics I asked for small carved boxes of wood inlaid with bone. There are some very old jade figurines of various animals in the Temple that are just taking up space in my quarters – I will place one in each box. In addition to a knife, Teyla will receive an ivory box in thanks for her translation skills. Dr. Zelenka will receive a knife also, and a listing of the ingredients for tical and the brewing instructions. For Dr. Beckett I have a data crystal in my chambers with the _entire_ pharmacological database from the Temple, a supply of zaxutl gum, and a small white jade figure of a bird headed woman I found with the others. My memory told me that she was a goddess of healing that was worshipped in the coastal city, and the figurine is well over a thousand years old.

The last item is the mask for Dr. Weir. I pick it up carefully – Kelu has outdone herself. It represents one of the jungle spirits that live in the upper canopy. The thick curved beak is ivory, and every feather she used has an iridescent sheen that makes it flash in every direction. Crimson, cobalt blue, jade green, gold, blue-black – it is truly exquisite and her finest work yet. I set it down and grin very happily at Nixi. "Very acceptable." Then, since she is turning such a dark shade of crimson herself, I have to hug her. She pushes me away and makes a disgusted sound, but I can see she is very proud of her artisans. I certainly am.

"When will you be taking these to Tunixta and his people?"

"In a few days, I think."

"I will pack them."

"Let me help." We pack the gifts in one of the large travel baskets, the boxes near the top so I can put the figurines in them. I make sure the knives for Sheppard and McKay are separate from the others and within easy reach, and the mask is the last item to go in. Then I carefully fold and bundle the fur and tie it. I take everything to the Temple and add the other items, too.

I finish, and as I stand there in my quarters, alone, I realize I have no pressing duties at the moment. I'm not needed to translate for the DˀQui, there are no sick or injured in need of immediate care, and the scanners are quiet. I glance towards my now clear balcony and see a few creepers have started, but I decide to leave them be for the moment. Instead I get my new hammock, take it out onto the balcony, and tie it to the still partly buried Ancient ornamentation.

And I sleep for the rest of the afternoon. I decide that after the last month, the Tilahuaxutzli has earned a little self-indulgence.

-oOo-

Two days later I am standing on the top of the Great Pyramid and catching my breath. The travel basket is quite heavy, and the previous trips in the Puddlejumpers have spoiled me – I forgot what a climb it is to get up here. I take a moment to clean any mud from my legs from the trek here and make myself presentable before I dial Atlantis. I have the radio earpiece in place and the IDC attached to my belt, which in turn is over my new cloth. The moment the 'Gate comes to life I check everything again. The IDC must be automatic because a few seconds later I'm given the go ahead to come through, so I hoist the basket back onto my shoulder and tuck the bundled urtal hide under my arm.

The 'Gate doesn't seem to have much of a scent on this side, but then it could be because the jungle overpowers it here. But the moment my feet touch the cooler floor of Atlantis I can smell it. I step forward several paces before I stop. And listen. _She_ is there, and for the briefest moment I sense … happiness. Then there is nothing but the unsettling, ever looming presence in the back of my mind.

I look up automatically to the place where Dr. Weir greeted my source and I the first time I set foot here and grin when I see her, Sheppard, McKay, and someone I have never seen before all standing there at the railing. Sheppard motions towards the stairs and I nod back.

I realize I am excited to see everyone as I take the stairs two at a time. They meet me at the top, and I see Sheppard's eyes instantly take in my new scars. They finally settle on my throat – that one has already turned white and stands out quite starkly against my skin. Both pride and anger flit briefly across his face before his expression settles on a happy grin of his own. He has to clear his throat before he speaks, and can still smell a touch of anger on his scent. "So, kid – what brings you to our neck of the woods?"

I like that saying – neck of the woods – even though it is out of place among these Ancient walls. _What really does bring me here?_ I think. And the answer is easy – friends. And to some extent, family. Technically speaking, even. Then there is the fact that I was able _to_ come back at all…. "My pest problem has been eliminated." I can't keep the satisfied smile from my face at that thought, and when I turn to face Dr. Weir it is still there. "And since we will be harvesting our first crops after the rainy season in a few weeks, I felt it was time to discuss trade." I dip my head, her ears color faintly, and the stranger's face darkens. Oh – I do believe he is _attracted_ to her. And his scent … jealous? Then she is leading us to the conference room, and I forget about him for the moment.

-oOo-

The initial gift giving has gone very well – I decided to show one of the plain knives first because I want to give Sheppard's to him privately. And McKay's as well – I need to speak to him, alone, while I'm here. Ever since I spoke to my source that night and told him what I did …. He needs to know, and what my reasoning was at the time. I thought my predecessor's reasons were sound, but I have … changed since then. And I need to make amends, somehow. Telling McKay of his children will be the first step.

I shiver, but most of it is pure physical reaction. Atlantis has always been cool, but today I notice it is abnormally so, and getting colder by the minute. The stranger is standing near me, and his amusement is beginning to annoy me. I have been trying to ignore him, but since it seems to be directed mainly at my source I am starting to find it very disrespectful. I glance past him and deliberately ignore his smirk. "Dr. Weir, I am getting cold. Do you mind if I Change?"

"Not at all, Shadow." She frowns briefly. "It does seem rather … cool in here today."

I hear several people snort in amusement as I change. Out of the corner of my eye I see the rough-featured stranger lose his smirk and violently flinch away from me. He backs into Dr. Weir and sends her staggering into the conference table.

"What the fuck?" There is nothing but pure surprise in his voice.

My teeth are showing in a grin as I turn to face him. My ears and whiskers are relaxed, however, but judging from the expression on his face he doesn't understand that I am not threatening him.

On second thought, perhaps I am.

McKay suddenly laughs, then coughs, then giggles. Dr. Beckett chokes back his own laughter, and I hear a short bark escape Sheppard. When I look at him he has already clamped down on his grin, but his eyes are dancing. "Was he not told?" I ask my source.

"He was," Sheppard chokes out. "By the way, Shadow, meet Col. Caldwell. Colonel, Shadow."

I look back at the colonel – he has recovered from his initial shock and now seems angry. I flick my ears, lift my chin briefly in greeting, and chuff. He blinks, and I hear more amused snorts behind me.

"That is just eerie," McKay mutters. "It is so … _him_."

"Yeah, it is," Caldwell says as he glances back and forth between me and Sheppard. Then the smirk returns and he just shakes his head.

I chuff again – I have a feeling that even if I was growling and baring my claws at him, he is going to remain amused. I decide to continue ignoring him, return to the basket, and reach for the mask. "This is for you, Dr. Weir." I carefully pull it out, then turn it around to face her as I offer it to her. "I thought it would go with the others in your office. Kelu made it."

She takes it as if her touch will shatter it. "Oh … my." Her voice is soft. "This is beautiful, Shadow." She looks up at me and smiles, and I am glad I am in my intermediate form now because I know my ears would be red. "Thank you." Then her eyes are back on the mask, and the amazed smile makes her look years younger. "Please tell Kelu thank you for me. It's lovely."

I nod back and smile happily, and Caldwell takes a step away from me. And I wasn't even showing my teeth. The fur around my neck and down my spine is standing, however, but it isn't in threat. I'm just very … pleased.

-oOo-

I have to make a detour to the infirmary for a quick 'check-up' before I can deliver the rest of the gifts. Protocol, they say. Personally, I think Beckett wants to see what happened to me during the hunt. I saw him trying to get a better look at my arms – the defensive scars are quite numerous and have not turned white yet. Sheppard accompanies us, and I have a feeling from their expressions I am going to be answering a lot of questions.

No one trips over any planters this time, but there are several startled exclamations since I am in my intermediate form.

The questions finally come while I am under the scanner and can't escape so easily. "So, how'd everything go?" Sheppard asks, his voice tight.

I glance at him. He is leaning against a counter, his arms crossed, but he is far from relaxed. "Very well. I didn't lose a single hunter. Or Ixlatecutl. And made allies."

He grunts and draws his lips in briefly to hide the smile I could see try to come out. "That's quite the gap in your ear."

"Aye, and your forearms look like crap."

"Two unrelated incidents."

"And the broken arm?" Beckett asks a moment later. He is frowning at the scanner's readout.

"Shortly after the defensive wounds."

Beckett snorts softly and looks down at me, thoroughly expecting more of an explanation. When he realizes none with be forthcoming, he motions me to sit up. "Well, lad, you're healthy as a horse, and everything is healed fine. I guess I can give ya that and stop worrying."

"Speak for yourself, doc," Sheppard mutters as I sit up and swing my legs around. "Okay, kid – spill. What in the hell happened?" He says that through his teeth, and _his_ expression says he isn't going to accept any half answers.

I glance back and forth between them. Beckett even crosses his arms and mirrors Sheppard's tight-lipped expression. I thoroughly had no intention of telling them any details, but it looks like I cannot escape. So I tell them. It is an abbreviated and _censored_ version of events, but then when I look back at the entire hunt the high points truly did take very little time. Most of it was … running. And stalking. When I finish my rather short tale I can see Beckett frowning thoughtfully, but not angrily, and Sheppard is biting down on his lips to keep his grin under control. The silence stretches so long I start to get nervous.

"The guy was bigger than Ronon?" Sheppard finally says. "Really?"

I nod. "Easily a head taller. And close to twice his weight."

"Huh." He rubs his mouth. "And here Ronon didn't think you could fight." He sounds rather proud at the moment. Then he sees Beckett frowning at him and he clears his throat. "It's amazing you didn't get your furry ass killed!" He tries to sound angry, he truly does, but it isn't really working.

"Aye. All of you." Beckett's voice is soft, incredulous.

"I told you I was bringing my best hunters," I say defensively. "Did you not believe me?"

"Well…." Sheppard rubs his neck, and Beckett snorts.

"Just because _you_ would have gone running off by yourself." Beckett grins tightly at me. "Thank you, son, for exhibiting _some_ common sense. Apparently the cloning corrected that wee problem."

"Hey!"

I chuff at the indignant look on Sheppard's face. "Thank you, doctor. Are we finished here?"

"Yes. But before yae go…." Beckett goes to a cabinet and pulls out some folded clothes. "We've kept these handy in case … for your next visit."

I take them – they are pants and a short-sleeved shirt like the ones my source are wearing. "Thank you. This place is too cold, and your people seem to find nudity – full or partial – very distressing, even in my intermediate form." They both snort. "And I found Col. Caldwell's amusement over it extremely annoying."

"You and me both," Sheppard mumbles.

I Change and dress quickly, and as we are leaving the infirmary Teyla and Ronon are waiting for us in the hall. I grin very happily at both of them. Teyla touches foreheads with me, and Ronon pats me hard on the back. He doesn't hit nearly as hard as the leader of the First Ones, but the force still makes me stagger. Then he lifts his chin as he looks at my ear. "Hell of a nick there."

I shrug. "It makes it easier to tell us apart now."

"Smart-ass," Sheppard mutters.

"You will have to tell us your tale – I imagine it is quite thrilling," Teyla says as we all start down the hallway.

"Not really," I reply. "Lots of running, some sleeping, even more running." I see Ronon raise an eyebrow. "But not _away._"

Now Beckett gives a sigh. "Aye," he mumbles to my source.

"And I should really have Kintu here to tell you the tale. He makes it much more interesting." I sigh. "But I suppose I can tell it without him, and his son's help. There will certainly be less screaming and tickling in my version, however." Now they are all staring at me strangely, so I keep my face set. "Though if McKay is present, there may still be some screaming."

-oOo-

We return to the conference room, and as I carefully sort through the basket for Teyla and Ronon's gifts, Dr. Weir and Col. Caldwell rejoin us. The man is still smirking faintly as he crosses his arms and stands out of the way. McKay and Zelenka come in as well – they and several others were standing over a control panel and snickering over something there when we came into the main control area.

Ronon eyes the urtal fur somewhat jealously, but when I give him his knife his eyes crinkle from the huge grin he gives me. After he inspects the blade he immediately tucks the sheath in his belt. "Thanks, man," he says, then surprises me by embracing me. His quick squeeze makes the air come out of my lungs almost as effectively as a head butt from an Ixlatecutl. Teyla likes the ivory box as much as the knife, and when I explain that the designs on the box represent the isi flower, and how it is as beautiful as it is deadly, she actually gets a hint of color to her cheeks. I see my source and McKay both roll their eyes, and I chuff back at them.

"Thank you, Shadow. I will treasure these always." Then she calmly walks over to Sheppard and McKay, but she hits the scientist in the arm. She raises an eyebrow in warning to Sheppard as she settles between them.

McKay is grimacing more than usual. "What was that for." He's rubbing his arm – she hit him quite hard, apparently. But she doesn't say – she just smiles serenely.

I give Beckett the data crystal and the figurine, which is about as tall as my hand is long. Dr. Weir comes over to see it closer, her eyebrows raised in appreciation. Beckett's dimples are present as he runs a thumb over the smooth jade. "A goddess of healing, you say?"

I nod. "And, if I remember correctly, a guardian of the soul in another aspect."

"Thank you, son. For both."

I smile and duck my head. Next I find Zelenka's crystal and hand that to him along with a knife. He asks what the crystal is, and after I tell him I see his eyes light up. Then he glances past me to Dr. Weir and Col. Caldwell and grows a little panicked.

"Radek, you've been running your still for over three years now – it's not a secret anymore," Weir says with a smile. "And if you want to get technical, the rule was 'no alcohol _through_ the stargate'." The last she says pointedly to Colonel Caldwell.

"I, for one, would like to see something better than that blue crap," Caldwell adds in a quiet growl.

Zelenka smiles and adjusts his glasses. "Oh, this will be fantastický. Believe me. Very smooth. No side effects."

"Or blindness," McKay says very quietly. Teyla hits him again. "Ow."

I look down into the basket and see McKay's knife. I wanted to give it to him alone, but he has been watching all the others so impatiently I decide to give it to him now. I will speak to him later. I pull it out and hand it to him. He grins crookedly as he takes it, and the first thing he does notice is that the handle is carved. "Hey, cool – mine is different than yours," he says to Zelenka. The little scientist leans over to look and nods in approval. McKay pulls the knife, and I see the blade is a nearly clear, slightly smoky blue. The xuc's bare hindquarters are that color, and the way the blade sits …. I stifle a grin. Kintu is too clever for his own good.

"Careful with that, Rodney – obsidian is very sharp," Sheppard says.

McKay glances at him, and I see his eyes focus on the scar on my source's arm that is hidden by the sleeve of his shirt. "Um, yeah." He re-sheaths it, then glances around quickly. "Um, they all got two…. Ow!" That came because Sheppard reached behind Teyla and smacked him on the back of his head before he could finish the sentence. "I'm just saying."

I chuff and reach back in the basket for something I threw in at the last moment. I toss him a tinu and he barely catches it.

"Oh, har har, very funny."

oOo

I deliver the boxes next, and only Sheppard accompanies me. The others will be meeting us for dinner in a little while. We go to botany first. Dr. Brown blushes very sweetly, and the other botanists are very surprised. Then we stop by the infirmary again. The male medic, Jamie, seems mildly embarrassed, but Carrie…. She throws her arms around me and gives me a kiss that makes fur ripple down my arms and spine. Then she quickly ducks away, her face crimson. When I turn around, _everyone_ is staring at me. And smirking. I shrug, pick up the basket and slide the strap over my shoulder, and rub the scar on my nose.

My ears betray me as I leave the infirmary.

"I think I would like you to give the Marines their gifts," I say to Sheppard once we are in the transporter.

He nods as he touches the panel. "Yeah, might be less awkward. Plus some are on duty, and Lorne is on off-world mission right now." We leave the transporter. "We can keep them in the armory until then. It's just down the hall here." We go in and the scent in the room makes me sneeze. It is odd – oily and metallic and vaguely unpleasant. Sheppard glances at me and I shrug. I set the basket down, and while he's making space in a secure cabinet I set the knives out. He carefully puts them away, locks the cabinet, and when he turns around I am holding his knife. His eyebrows go up.

"Kenje, Kintu, and Nixi wanted to make one special for you." I hold it out to him on both hands.

"Nixi?" he asks as he takes the knife. Then he gets a good look at it and his mouth drops open. His next words are barely above a whisper as he pulls it from its sheath. "Oh, wow."

"She is Kintu's wife, our head artisan. She did all the etchings." I grin proudly as he turns the blade in the light. "And carved McKay's handle."

He peers closer at the handle. "This looks like Ancient." He slides it back in its sheath. "Oh, man. Thanks, kid. This is really cool." He tucks it in the belt that holds his gun. "But I will be honest – it's never leaving my quarters. There's no way in hell I'll ruin it by taking it on a mission."

I nod in understanding – obsidian is sharp, but can be broken easily if mishandled. For our uses is it fine. I doubt it would work well against the Wraith.

As we leave the armory he glances down, one hand still resting on the handle. "Is this a fang from the cat we killed?" When I nod he whistles. "That was really stupid," he says more to himself than to me. "Don't ever tell anyone I admitted that. Especially Carson."

"I won't."

He grins at me. "Thanks." Then we're stepping back into the transporter. "So, how long you staying with us this time."

"A can spare a few days – I still have to talk to Dr. Weir."

Sheppard draws in his lips and nods. "I think I can swing a surf lesson or two in tomorrow afternoon. You up to it?"

I grin. "Oh, yes."

oOo

Our trays have been empty for over an hour but we are still sitting in the cafeteria. The expressions directed at me at the moment range from proud to ill, the latter mainly from McKay. I have just finished my tale of the hunt for the First Ones – again slightly abbreviated and censored – and for some reason I feel very … tired. I am leaning back in my chair, arms crossed, and for the past few minutes almost everyone has been staring at the scars on my arms. It is quiet right now, and I'm starting to feel a little self-conscious. Then Ronon breaks the silence.

"You kicked his ass!" He grins happily. "Man, I wish I could have see it."

"He couldn't have been _that_ big," McKay says.

Sheppard, who is leaning back in his chair as well, grimaces and nods. "If he was that sonuvabitch standing outside the wall that night … yeah, he was."

Teyla is one of the ones grinning proudly at me. I have decided that if she always smiled at me like that, and I would never grow tired of it. "This new tribe – they have become allies?"

"Oh, yes. They want us to teach them how to raise and ride the Ixlatecutl. ˀQi is living in our village now, with four others. We will be trading with them as well."

"Sounds like things are looking up for your people," Beckett says. I nod happily.

"What do these First Ones look like?" Caldwell asks. His expression is somewhat skeptical.

"They're big, fugly mutant cat-demons that look like a cross between a saber-toothed tiger and, and, and …." McKay snaps his fingers a few times. "Help me out here, people."

"The Hulk," Sheppard supplies.

"That Wraith I shot with a drone on Sateda," Beckett says.

"I'll go with that," Ronon adds.

Sheppard nods. "Yeah, that works better."

"We still have an image in our files," Weir says to Caldwell. "I'll show it to you later." Then she's looking at me. "They're truly all gone?" Her expression has been calm during the tale, and mildly horrified when I described the destruction of the camp and the final battle.

I nod. I am pretty sure we have killed the last of them. If not … there may be more hunts in the future, if their own physiology doesn't kill them off in the meantime.

My thoughts must be reflecting in my face because I now see Teyla studying me. She originally thought my solution was too harsh. "You seem troubled, Shadow." I can almost hear her unspoken question – _are you sure you did the right thing?_

"I was able to study some of their remains in great detail." I frown thoughtfully. "They were a very sick people in the end. Their creators didn't plan well." Anger tries to rise to the surface, but I force myself to stay calm. Fur does ripple briefly along my arms, however. I glance between her and Weir. "Had they stayed on their plateau, they would have died out within a few generations anyway."

Teyla just nods thoughtfully.

There is another brief moment of silence before Weir clears her throat. "Well, I have a few reports I neglected earlier that I need to go over." She stands and everyone else takes it as a cue to stand and gather their trays. "I will see you in the morning, Shadow?" I nod back to her.

We still leave the cafeteria in a large group and only start to break up in the hall. My source and his team decide to show me more of the city, and the tour is very interesting. Until we get to the chair room. Here I can really feel the city's presence and it unsettles me to the point I feign boredom just so we can leave sooner. I see McKay looking at me strangely – he must think I am picking up signals. Amazingly enough, he doesn't say anything, and we leave.

It is fairly late in the evening when I am finally led to the guest quarters. Teyla has already left us, and Ronon detours into the cafeteria. So it is just Sheppard and McKay with me when I enter the guest quarters.

"Well, kid – yell if you need anything," Sheppard says. "I'll get everything arranged for tomorrow. Let me know when you're done talking to Elizabeth."

"I will." They turn to leave but I stop them. "Dr. McKay? May I have a word with you?" They both turn around, curiosity on their faces. "Sheppard – could you stay … close by? Please?"

"Sure." He frowns as he glances between me and an obviously confused McKay. Then I see his eyes light up with understanding. "Um, I'll, ah, wait over here." He retreats to the door, but doesn't leave.

I motion McKay towards the balcony. The evening breeze is cool, but not so much so that it is uncomfortable. McKay is still looking at me curiously. "Um, what do you want to talk to be about?" he asks, and his tone is nervous.

I cross my arms and draw in my lips before I speak. "Do you remember the … sample my predecessor took from you?"

He is instantly angry, and I do not blame him. "Of course I remember. That isn't something a person easily _forgets_." He crosses his arms and scowls at me. "Why are you bringing that up now? Do you know how many sessions I had to go through with Heightmeyer to keep from waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night expecting someone to sneak in and, and, and…." He makes a suggestive hand gesture I recognize. "…In my sleep?" he chokes out a second later.

I cringe guiltily because I know he is about to get even angrier. "My predecessor wanted to start an in vitro fertilization program with the Nixtahuec." My voice is quite pained, and if I were in my intermediate form, my ears and whiskers would be drooping. "I … I used your sample for four cases. At the time I did not think we would ever see your people ever again, and saw no harm in continuing my predecessor's plan." McKay's face goes blank, and he blinks a few times. "I realize now that what I did was wrong, and I am deeply and truly sorry I did not ask permission first."

"You're … you're sorry?" McKay's voice is soft but rises in pitch at the end, and I flinch faintly. "You're _sorry_!?" His voice is very loud now. "I'm going to have four stone-age kids running around that I never knew about, had no say about, and you're sorry?"

"Only two – the others did not take," I add softly.

"Oh, and that is supposed to make me feel better how?" He is yelling now. "So, how many spiky-haired step-children is Sheppard going to have running around? Huh? Half a dozen? More? She raped him in the middle of the night, too."

I cannot look at him. "None. I've destroyed his and what was left of your sample." I hear him grunt and force myself to meet his eyes. His face is very red, and he is starting to hyperventilate. "Please forgive me, Dr. McKay. I truly did not do this to hurt you – I thought I was doing the right thing for my people at the time. I was wrong. And please know that your daughters will be raised by a very loving family, and that I will personally protect them as if they are my own."

McKay's breathing is still very rapid. "Whoa, wait, whoa. Did … did you say daughters? As in girls? Two girls?" Then I see his eyes roll up.

I barely catch him before he can crack his head on the railing. I get him onto the floor, and as I am elevating his legs Sheppard comes rushing onto the balcony. "What the hell happened?" he snaps at me as he kneels down next to his friend.

I glance guiltily at him. "I told him about his daughters. He was hyperventilating." I can see McKay's eyes already starting to flutter open and I tell him to concentrate on slow, deep breaths while I keep track of his pulse.

"Yeah, passed out from manly shock, more'n likely," Sheppard mutters.

McKay's eyes come into focus, and he glances up at us in confusion. "How'd I get down here?" he slurs out.

Sheppard smiles at him. I'm grimacing and feel vaguely ill. "Hey, buddy," Sheppard says. "Both girls, huh? Whoa, let's hope they have Jeannie's temperament."

McKay blinks at him. "You, you _knew_?"

"Yeah, kid told me."

"And you didn't tell _me_? The one person who should just possibly be the one who needs to know?" Sheppard's grin turns into an embarrassed grimace. "Who else knows about this?"

"Teyla," Sheppard supplies.

"Oh, you are both so gonna get it," McKay growls and sits up. We try to keep him prone, but he just pushes us away. "And I assume there is a perfectly logical if totally screwed up explanation as to _why_ you did not inform me of this, this totally fucked up situation?"

Now Sheppard looks as guilty as I feel. "Teyla and I discussed it, and we didn't feel it was our right to tell you." He is looking at me, and I have agree with his words.

"And here I have. I am …."

"Don't say it," McKay says. I clamp down on my lips. He gets to his feet, and readjusts his jacket. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He looks between us a few times, then just turns and stomps out.

Sheppard rocks back off of his knees to sit, his back against the railing and legs splayed out. He rubs his mouth and looks at me. "That, um, went well."

My feet are flat on the floor and I am sitting pretty much on my ankles, my arms around my knees. I just simply shift my weight backwards until my back hits the window and I am sitting on the floor. "He is never going to forgive me. And I don't blame him."

"Ah, give him some time. He'll come around. You did the right thing telling him." We sit in silence for awhile and watch the lights of Atlantis. "I think I'll have Teyla talk to him tomorrow. If anyone can smooth things over…." He lets the thought trail off and shrugs. "It's going to be fine."

I chuff miserably.

Sheppard gets to his feet, and he comes over and gives my shoulder a squeeze. "It will. Now, get some rest. Big day tomorrow." Then he gives me a shake and I chuff again. He leaves, and I sit outside for a long time until I start to get cold.

It takes awhile for sleep to come, and when it does I am not entirely surprised to find myself wandering the halls of Atlantis. The floors are not cold this time, but warm. Inviting. I walk for a long while until I find myself on a balcony on some tower that gives me a view of the entire city. Only then does she speak to me. _I am waiting, my child,_ she whispers, and I do feel her breath on the curve of my split ear.

I chuff and shake my head. "I am not your child. I am Nixta, the Tilahuaxutzli, the Guardian of the Temple of Water and Life. Wait all you want, because I. Am. Nixtahuec!" I change, and roar my challenge to the towers, to the sky, to the sea. I fall silent and prick my ears forward and listen. There is no reply.

I chuff, turn my back on the city, and walk away.

_End Note: Will Rodney ever speak to Shadow again? Will Atlantis take the hint and butt the hell out? Will Rodney's daughters drive the tribe insane once they learn to talk? Alas, dear reader, that is for another tale..._


	11. Chapter 11

_Author's Note: Betcha thought it was done, huh? Nope, nope - there's a certain Lt. Colonel we need to hear from briefly. _

**Chapter 11: Epilogue**

I have decided the kid is making me very jealous. We've only been out here maybe three hours and he can already ride the waves. Granted, he can't do any fancy stuff or else he wipes out, but still…. It's so not fair.

Ronon gave up an hour ago. I can imagine his dreds get pretty heavy when saturated. I can see him on the beach now, sprawled out by the bonfire. Yeah, what started out as a one Jumper, small excursion has turned into a three Jumper, full blown beach party. First it was just me, Ronon, Teyla, and Shadow. An hour later Rodney, Carson, Elizabeth, and Caldwell showed up. Caldwell even had a case of beer, and I'd really like to know where in the hell he had _that_ stowed on the Daedelus. Then not even twenty minutes ago another Jumper set down, and Lorne and Zelenka came out with more beer and a ton of food. Lorne has to be dragging – this mission was his first after being cleared for duty again and I know he got back shortly after we came out. I wonder who cleared him and his team since Carson is out here.

Oh, man – I hope nothing happens at home, since everyone is _here_….

_And_ they better save me a beer, damnit. That's all I'm saying.

I'm sitting out past the breakers on my board just taking it easy when I get distracted as Shadow suddenly pops into view. He's attempting a little bit bigger wave this time. He does good, too, but it's a little too much for him and down he goes. I swear I can hear him laughing when he pops to the surface a moment later. The kid grabs his board and starts paddling out to me.

I'd really like to know the real tale behind his hunt, and that fight with the leader. I know for damn sure he didn't give us the whole story. His arms were _shredded_…. Whatever happened, it's changed him. He seems – I don't know – more confident, but also … sad at the same time, I guess. And certainly a much bigger smart-ass than before, that's for sure. But there are times I catch him just kind of staring off at nothing, and that damn crease shows up between his eyebrows. Then he sees me or someone else watching and poof, it's gone. I'd really like to know, but I have a feeling it'll be a cold day in hell before he tells me.

Yeah, I can't expect too much, really. He is my _clone_, after all. How many years have my own teammates been trying? Not gonna fucking happen.

I look past him at the party. I'm really surprised Rodney came out. He was still incredibly pissed at breakfast, and looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep. Didn't say one word to me or Shadow, just crammed the last of his breakfast in, picked up his tray and left. Shadow feels horrible, and I really can't blame Rodney one bit for being mad. Two girls…. Jeez. But I see Teyla talking to him right now away from everybody else, and since his arms aren't pin-wheeling all over the place and birds aren't taking flight, I'm taking that as a very good sign.

The kid finally makes it out to me, and he's barely out of breath. Yup, very jealous. I flick some water at him and he just laughs. We sit in silence and just bob in the surf for awhile, watching everyone on shore. "So, you about ready to pack it in?"

He sighs happily. "Yes. I could smell the food just before I wiped out. It smelled very good."

But we just stay there. I study at him out of the corner of my eye. "How are you doing?"

He looks right back at me. "Very good," he finally says. "And you?"

I shrug. "Can't complain." I grunt the same time he chuffs. We sit in silence for another minute or so. "You know, if you ever need to talk about, well, anything …."

"I know," he replies. I glance at him and he is looking down at the board. His expression is pretty somber when he finally lifts his head and meets my eyes. "Kintu is always telling me I should talk to my elders whenever I am troubled. They are very wise." I almost miss the corner of his mouth twitching. Almost. "I imagine _you_ are incredibly wise."

I blink, then my eyes narrow. I smack him hard enough on the arm he capsizes, and I damn near follow him over. Little smart-ass. I bet this is all Kintu's influence. Next time I see that sawed off little ….

Something hits the bottom of my board, hard, and I start to go over. "Why you little sonuva…." Then all I see are bubbles. I am so kicking his ass when we get to shore. After I get a beer, that is. By the time I get to the surface he is already on his board and paddling furiously. And laughing. I get up on mine. "You better run, you little punk!" I yell and start paddling, too. Yeah, he sounds like he's intimidated. I just paddle harder, and I _know_ I can beat him to shore.

_Finis_

_End Note: Okay, I'm tired now. For some reason this was a hard one to write. Dunno why, but a lot of sweat and tears went into this one. But fear not, this isn't the last chapter. There will be more, but when, I don't know. I have ideas for 3 more stories in the 'Project Atlantis' AU, and one kinda perculating for this series. But be patient. More will come... ._


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